let go....it is a cycle once there is a break up there is always the contemplation of wanting the relationship back. but he made it clear he was unhappy. it is better that he actually told you something instead of not telling you nothing at all

Give yourself a little more time. You seem to know you have people around you who do care and you're not over-the-top in your expression for still loving/wanting him, so you're really not in a bad place. Just take things at your own pace. But, if this goes on for more than a month, it's just making you stagnant even as you continue to meet new people and live relatively healthily and so on. It's not fair on yourself to keep the wish for him saturating everything...

I know this from experience. You'll wake up a month down the road, see he's moved on, and feel like an idiot. But at your own pace, deal... only you know what feels best. Again, you seem like you've got a good mind - you'll know when to actually let go. It doesn't sound like you'll stay missing him for too long. :) All the best.

I am in a very similar situation. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up two weeks ago. We were together for 4 years.

I responded to the breakup the way your ex-boyfriend did-- I was upset at first, then I started to move on and try to let go of things. Then last night he tells me that he still loves me, and wants to "work things out" (like you're kind of wishing right now).

I told him I don't think that's possible. I think it's natural to want someone back after a breakup. You want that comfortable feeling, that security, you think of the good things and ignore the bad. But you have to consider what was wrong between you. Because if you got back together, those issues are still going to be there. For my ex and I, we aren't compatible in many ways. We don't communicate well with each other, we don't have much in common, we bring bad qualities out of each other instead of good. Those aren't things that can be changed.

Just try to remove yourself from your natural emotional response, and think logically of the pros and cons of the relationship. Be honest about whether or not it could actually work. And even if YOU think it could, if HE doesn't, then you need to let it go anyway.

I used to be depressed over a guy, but later I found a new guy and realized how much better that I could find and deserve, so in comparison, I never want to get back with my ex, even though I used to want to, because I thought that I couldn't find anyone better due to my insecurities. I've changed

look, the way you said things, you both obviusoly love eachother and all you really needed was time apart of a break from eachother so you both can really see what you have and to appreciate and miss eachother...

time heals....i had the same bout 3 months back....and i swear, it's so hurtful....but he get over me really fast....so, i choose to stay strong....3 months, but i still miss him and how i wish, i can turn back the time and make things right....but the right thing to do is, MOVE ON...stay strong.....

Like many other comments about your post I have the same to say: it's natural what your going through. I call it the "what if" phase. What if we can work things out? what if he has changed? It's contemplating on maybe things can be rewinded and edited. But you guys clearly thought things through and made a rational decision on ending the relationship. It wasn't a spur of the moment after an angry argument break up. Or in your words it wasn't a decision made after you began hating each other. I think (as much as it sucks) it's probably easier getting over someone when you have started "hate" them and dislike being in the relationship because you then know then and there it's not going to work out. But here you guys ended on semi-good terms. So you're hoping for some closure. I've been there, been at the point of gotten back with someone who clearly the relationship wasn't working out. We were on and off and it was horrible and emotionally draining.
So my advice to you, speak to someone about it friends or family. You got to voice it. Honestly, there is no point trying to "fix things" he's already trying to move on and well that would put you in the positioning of investing more (to fix the relationship) and him at a different level. It will take time, and most of us here know a healing from a break up is BRUTAL (depending on the situation). But allow yourself to cry, express your emotions to others and try to cope with this! Yes you may have feelings for him and you miss that attachment to him, but think about deep down: would it have really worked out?Best of luck!

I wish I could tell you that you'd be able to get back together with your ex 'cause I find myself missing mine too though my situation is different from yours in some ways. He was unfaithful, moved on and has been with this skank and thinking about it, it still angers and hurts me. If your heart still feels pain, you definitely need more time to heal. Many people won't understand how you feel and will say rude things because society expects someone to move on right away and if one side is slower, they'll be deemed pathetic, desperate, psycho, etc. However, there will be someone who'll sympathize, hear you out, be there for you even if they can't do anything more than just listen. Since you're not ready to let go, then don't yet. Don't force yourself to because when I did that, I ended up breaking down even more. It's perfectly fine to still have feelings for him even if he doesn't return it (as strongly). My goal is to get over my ex someday too, but I find myself having a lot of trouble and always thinking back to the what ifs. The fact is that my ex isn't going to come back.. perhaps he'll regret someday but as of now, he's gone and I have to accept it and deal with it. I'm trying to focus more of my energy on other things now because when I overthink, it tears myself apart and I'm losing who I was, the positive side of me has been clouded through all this. Be strong. Wish you all the best, remember you're not alone in this torturous feeling.

I feel this too, although no where near as long as your relationship. But either way, the feeling is the same. We must be strong. :]

I try to distract myself with people and work and other things. But sometimes when all is calm... my mind wanders back to him. Just gotta keep doing whatever we're doing. Time will make it fade.

Let go. If there is only one person who is willing to hold on, then you're really holding on to nothing. Maybe in time he will come to share the same feelings as you. But considering the way things are now, it will be healthier for you to accept that your life has taken a new turn. Use this opportunity to reacquaint yourself with the confident and independent person you were before you met him and, who knows, maybe you'll meet a new love interest on the way. After all, there is nothing sexier than confidence. ;]

Tell someone how you're feeling.  Your best friend or your closest family member.  Open a line to someone, so you can share your feelings when you're feeling the worst.

It takes a LIFETIME to forget someone. Try to move on, but give yourself time to do that. At first, I suggest doing whatever you can to get your mind off him, and try to CONVINCE yourself that you should let go. After awhile, I feel it's okay to dwell on the past, but try very hard not to let your emotions and feelings get the best of you. After nearly 4 years of dating my first gf who is now my ex, I still think about her everyday after many months have passed. Sometimes I miss her, wish I could take her back, daydream about the things we used to do. But I try to stop myself. It's not worth holding on to her because she's moved on, and so should I. But I know I'll never forget her because the heart never forgets. All I can do is to do my best in keeping her as just a memory and nothing more.