Friday, 03 June 2011
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The Worst Thing I've Ever Done in a Relationship
I'm embarrassed to say this, folks, but I have broken up with a guy via text message. It sounds pathetic and cowardly, and, quite truthfully, it is. I was immature and frustrated, so I ended a relationship with a text. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I did. It did teach me a few things regarding texting in relationships:- Nothing beats hearing your SO's voice. Texts are nice, but talking is so much nicer.
- Texting conversations should NOT go on 24/7. This may be one reason I got so frustrated... regardless, texting your bf/gf ALL day is annoying and can grow very dull.
- if something is bothering you in the relationship, talk about it! Don't end things with a few clicks on a cell phone keypad....
I know what I did was insincere and thoughtless, but I am thankful it taught me better ways to handle things.
What do you think of text message break-ups?
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- From: othernutter
- Name: catherine
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Comments (73)
It's bad but we all make mistakes.
I once was broken up with via an AIM profile! He just kept ignoring me so I tried to AOL chat him and I saw his profile changed! LOL
@AmeliaHart@xanga - lol that's harsh.
You suck! I was broken up with via a text message out of the blue. I never spoke to him again.
Everyone learns from their mistakes. And everyone has made them.
I broke up by text too, though it was a long distance relationship. And by long distance, it was also an international long distance relationship. I wanted to wait til I could call her, but she forced it out of me by text.
I had to break up with someone via text once because he refused to talk on the phone or meet up with me. I didn't really have any other choice and I didn't like doing it, but I was tired of being strung along by him.
One of my exes had his other girlfriend call me to tell me that our relationship was over. That was a pretty shitty and immature thing to do, in my opinion.
Hahaha in like ninth grade this guy got his friend to break up with me after a pep rally. I was heartbroken.
@six6vi@xanga - Yes! :/ haha
I've been broken up with via text which was really hurtful. Also through AIM back when I was 14-16 haha. I don't think I've ever been broken up with in person hahaha. It doesn't really bug me that much though. I think if you're in a super serious relationship then you should definitely break up in person or on the phone depending on the circumstances. My boyfriend who broke up with me via text was my first really serious boyfriend, but we were long distance, so I kind of understand why he did it especially since we were only dating a few months. We actually started dating again six months later and have been together for 2 1/2 years. If he broke up with me via text now, I'd probably fly off the handle at him haha.
I've done some bad things in relationships and learned from them, but it's my honesty -- a good thing -- that unfortunately seems to cause me the most problems.
If the relationship was worthless, I see nothing wrong. If the relationship was meaningful, a face to face encounter is warranted.
Texting gives people the balls to say things they can't say to your face. And it's also a way to make someone listen to what you're saying when they won't talk to you. Even if they say they just deleted your message...they probably read it first. But texting is not for me. Most of my exes fought with me through texting...annoying! lol. I even had one boyfriend's ex try to fight with me through myspace messages...lol.
I agree though on that it is so much better to hear your SO's voice, especially if you're having an actual conversation. Texting is ok for short things like ..."be there in a few." But meaningful things should really be kept face to face (unless there is a safety issue).
I think it depends on the relationship. If you're dating someone and the majority of your contact is through text, then it's not that bad. If you're dating someone that you usually call or talk to in person, then a text message breakup is cowardly.
I've been dumped via text before, and it wasn't any worse than being dumped in person or over the phone. We never called each other just to talk though. Unless we were together, or just calling to see if the other way home, we texted.
I'd also rather be dumped in a text than to receive a text that says "we need to talk" or something else potentially ominous.
Misleading title for sure!
I've only done it twice in my life. It really couldn't be avoided and to me, those were the best ways because I couldn't get a hold of either guy in any other ways.
@AmeliaHart@xanga - Ouch. Networking breakups are awful.
I had a coworker a few years ago who got broken up with in a text message on Christmas. The worst part is that she and her boyfriend both worked in the store, and he sent that text from a different department and then tried to avoid her all day.
You live and learn.
@six6vi@xanga - You're calling the original poster a dumbass? It's hard breaking up with people and not everyone can deal with hurting someone's feelings so boldy.
THATS the worst thing you've ever done in a relationship? Wow...
Don't feel bad hun. I've done worse and had worse done to me.
I ended a very young relationship via text once. I don't have many regrets about it. Was it mature? Maybe not. But all he did was text me, and then even that stopped, so it was hard for me to give a damn.
Generally, text break ups are bad. But it's hard for me to feel bad for every guy it has ever happened to (or girl), because maybe some of them deserve it.
Now, my current boyfriend respects me and I respect him, so if I ever felt the need to break up with him, I'd definitely do it in person if possible, over a phone call or Skype if not. But that's not happening, so... =P
@theflowerstem@xanga - I understand the OP is a coward, doesn't make her any less of a dumbass in my eyes.
Breakups are always messy. The worst way I ever broke up with someone was by getting on AIM, him asking me what was going on, and me saying I just didn't want to do our relationship anymore. It was awkward, and I felt bad.
I only ended a relationship once with text but I had no qualms about it because he broke up with me a month before through text. So what goes around comes around buddy.
I think it depends on the relationship you have with the person if it's really so bad or not to end it in texts.
If he were physically abusive or a total asshole, that would have been a blessing for him, to even receive a text
My therapist advised me not to continue relationship discussions by text.
if he can't even look me in the eye in person to break up with me, then I wouldn't want to be with such a nutless douchebag.