Tuesday, 31 May 2011
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You're Taking Me Out On a Date, Just Wanted To Let You Know ;)
Some guys' actions are equivalent to that of a tortoise when it comes to getting a girl's phone number or asking her out. That's where I come in. I like to think of myself as a matchmaker of sorts. Someone who will give a shy guy that extra push he needs to get the job done.
Some girls think that guys are the only ones who can set up a date. I have proven that incorrect time and time again. Some guys like aggressive women. I wouldn't recommend walking up to a guy and ripping off his shirt, but there's no reason not to be upfront about your wants.
I can't even count how many times I've walked up to a guy, introduced myself, asked if he had a girlfriend, and started a conversation. If I decide the guy is worth having more conversations with, and I sense that he's shy or fond of the aforementioned turtle-like behavior, I've totally done my signature bedroom eyes/hair twirl/smirk combo and said, "You intrigue me. You're taking me out on a date this weekend; just wanted to let you know." And they always have.
A lot of girls, however, aren't confident or forward or aggressive – whatever adjective being proactive is – when it comes to a new crush.
I was in Calico Jack's in Manhattan two weeks ago when my close friend (that I've known since kindergarten) spotted a cute guy she liked. Her flirting was well-played. She starting a conversation with him, he bought her a drink, and he hung out with us.
The night went really well – because of a few nudges from me. For example, when everyone sat down, she somehow ended up on the opposite side of the table than her crush. I took one look at the sadness in her eyes and said, "Jill, why don't you switch seats with Marie, because I'm sharing food with her." She mouthed "Thank you" and sat with him.
At the end of the night, I was getting tired and had work the next day. And, even though her guy was dancing with her, talking to her, and laughing with her, he sure was taking his sweet time asking for her number. I pulled her over to the side.
"I don't think he likes me," she said sadly, shrugging her shoulders. He hasn't even asked for my number. "That doesn't mean anything," I answered. "He's been talking to you all night, and hasn't once looked at another girl. He's just slow as shit."
I couldn't take it anymore. I walked over to him, fingered him down to me (I'm just over five feet), and whispered, "Hey, so it's getting kind of late and some of us actually have a job to wake up for...so what do you say we get this party rolling and you ask for my friend's number already."
"I was getting to that," he said with a smile, and took out his phone.
"Yeah, and I was growing a beard waiting," I said jokingly, and grabbed my coat.
They have been seeing each other ever since.Are you confident, or shy when it comes to talking to someone new? Do you have friends that push things along? Are you one of those friends?
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About the Author
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- From: Jenn
- About Me: I have been on more bad dates than I have fingers and toes to count on -- and I'm only in my early twenties! I laugh when I watch 'Sex & the City,' because I've had so many dysfunctional relationships that they might as well as made me their 5th friend. Even so, I used to love going on dates with different guys (now I only let one guy take me out on dates), eating great food, and talking on the phone until 3AM. I never did get over the idea that a guy should treat a girl like a princess -- even if I've encountered one too many frogs.
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Comments (51)
I read the title and knew in an instant that it was you.
First!
And I bet you people will be angry with you about this as well.
@MangoWOW@xanga - and i bet you will comment on how people are angry with her posts as well. o wait, you already did that. we have our opinions on her blogs and just because we disagree with the way she writes doesn't mean we can't voice our opinions.
any little criticism about her blogs and someone gets boohoo over our comments, LOL.
apparently only people who agree with her blogs can post and not get snide remarks in return, LOL.
@boilingicicle@xanga - same here.
Can I just say that I wish there were more women out there like you!
I have no issue asking women out but once in awhile I ask myself, why am I always the one do this?
This is grossly overgeneralizing and bringing up a completely different issue but if women truly are equal...why don't they start to step up more? ASK THE GUY! It oozes confidence, which believe it or not is attractive, and it's an attractive action in itself!
To actually answer your question I'm not usually the one to play matchmaker but if I see a friend truly struggling with themselves, I'll step in. I wouldn't mind if a friend tried to play matchmaker for me once or twice but I do know people who are incredibly bothered by that, it comes across to them as people trying to interfere in their personal lives.
I'm shy as fuck!!! there's no way I could ever ask out a guy. I would probably die alone before I did that :/
@Anonymous - Yea because this blog was soooo offensive and warrants more abuse. :P
I'm super confident when it comes to approaching guys. My boyfriend told me that he knew he could ask me for my number when I gave him one of those "I Want To Rip Your Clothes Off Of You Looks". Hahaha. But seriously, a little self-confidence and a good friend who's willing to give a little push and/or shove goes a LONG way. [;
I think I just lost someone cos neither of us had the balls to talk to each other...... :(
you sound like me! i have always been the one giving hints and kick starting the conversation. i feel proud of myself afterwards. and when the guy ask for my number thats like a reward!!!
It's nice that you did that for your friend... some girls and guys just really freeze up when push comes to shove about asking for a number. I'm shy and I have no one to push me because my friends really just think men have to make the first move... sorta influenced me that way ;) but I've done the pushing for at least two friends, which is weird, but that's me, I'm not so shy when it comes to men interested in friends! Lol.
I'm shy, but I hate having regrets, so I've been known to ask guys out from time to time, because hey, I don't want to wake up the next morning and all of a sudden be upset I didn't!
That's a really nice thing you did for your friend.
Well if a guy is taking too long to give you his number why not give him your number? Also, some guys take a while because they really want to evalulate the girl before they spend their hard earned money on her.
I'm very slow to decide whether I'm interested or not, but I'm pretty talkative.
In the past a woman who made the first move and asked me out I accepted even when my interest wasn't certain.
I'm a little cynical about people, so I'm not always prone to bothering.
This is by the far best post you've made here. Totally agree with you. I wish some girls I knew were as assertive as you, it'd make life so much easier.
Whether men approaching women is a genetic thing or social thing I'm not sure. Could be genetic because it's the same in the majority of species but it could be social because women are much more aggressive at younger ages at pursuing men. But it sucks for single men whatever the reason is.
I've never once seen that approach work in the long run. Men might be flattered by it, but eventually they will want to take the lead role in a relationship.
...Can you be my friennnd? :]
Man if a girl came up and ripped off my shirt, probably even if I wasn't all that attracted to her before hand...it would definitely be intriguing heh.
I'm definitely one of your 'turtle' guys. I never ask for a number of a girl I have a crush on, I almost never actively pursue them or anything either...would explain my lack of dating skills hehe. I have friends who try to push things along but it usually just bugs me and never works out when they try anything.
I really just feel like the author should submit some stuff anonymously and then everyone will comment on it like normal people and not straight dicks. And then you should reveal yourself and everyone will be like O WAIT I HATE THIS POST.
all jealous commenters aside,
I wish there were more chicks like you. Makes mine and men's jobs easier.
Only thing is that some of my chick friends think that if they need to do that,
then the man isn't man enough for them!
I wish I was more upfront. I am a girl and I move like a tortoise, and the guy I am into right now (who is also into me) is just as slow. It, uh, makes things interesting.....
Girlllll, I wish you were my friend!
I'm not confident if it is someone I like. I'm usually a very shy person and the guys that like me usually are shy too. Hell, it took me a long time to see I was actually going on dates with my best friend (we're dating now).