Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Some guys' actions are equivalent to that of a tortoise when it comes to getting a girl's phone number or asking her out. That's where I come in. I like to think of myself as a matchmaker of sorts. Someone who will give a shy guy that extra push he needs to get the job done.
Some girls think that guys are the only ones who can set up a date. I have proven that incorrect time and time again. Some guys like aggressive women. I wouldn't recommend walking up to a guy and ripping off his shirt, but there's no reason not to be upfront about your wants.
I can't even count how many times I've walked up to a guy, introduced myself, asked if he had a girlfriend, and started a conversation. If I decide the guy is worth having more conversations with, and I sense that he's shy or fond of the aforementioned turtle-like behavior, I've totally done my signature bedroom eyes/hair twirl/smirk combo and said, "You intrigue me. You're taking me out on a date this weekend; just wanted to let you know." And they always have.
A lot of girls, however, aren't confident or forward or aggressive – whatever adjective being proactive is – when it comes to a new crush.
I was in Calico Jack's in Manhattan two weeks ago when my close friend (that I've known since kindergarten) spotted a cute guy she liked. Her flirting was well-played. She starting a conversation with him, he bought her a drink, and he hung out with us.
The night went really well – because of a few nudges from me. For example, when everyone sat down, she somehow ended up on the opposite side of the table than her crush. I took one look at the sadness in her eyes and said, "Jill, why don't you switch seats with Marie, because I'm sharing food with her." She mouthed "Thank you" and sat with him.
At the end of the night, I was getting tired and had work the next day. And, even though her guy was dancing with her, talking to her, and laughing with her, he sure was taking his sweet time asking for her number. I pulled her over to the side.
"I don't think he likes me," she said sadly, shrugging her shoulders. He hasn't even asked for my number. "That doesn't mean anything," I answered. "He's been talking to you all night, and hasn't once looked at another girl. He's just slow as shit."
I couldn't take it anymore. I walked over to him, fingered him down to me (I'm just over five feet), and whispered, "Hey, so it's getting kind of late and some of us actually have a job to wake up for...so what do you say we get this party rolling and you ask for my friend's number already."
"I was getting to that," he said with a smile, and took out his phone.
"Yeah, and I was growing a beard waiting," I said jokingly, and grabbed my coat.
They have been seeing each other ever since.
Are you confident, or shy when it comes to talking to someone new? Do you have friends that push things along? Are you one of those friends?