Monday, 30 May 2011
-
Should I Make an Issue About His Crush?
This post was submitted by an anonymous user.I have been with my boyfriend for three years or a little more, but I've always known that he thought this girl was really hot. He sort of had a crush on her since he was in secondary school. To make things worse, she is together with his friend now and he sees her regularly. Sometimes, he gives me these comments about her looking like a model etc. and I try to ignore it, but it has really lowered my self-esteem, and I literally stalk her on Facebook, eager to know everything about her.
The other day when we were having sex, he asked me to imagine someone else and tell him who I was imagining. I said I couldn't do that. When I was on top of him, I asked him to close his eyes and imagine someone, and without hesitation, he mouthed out her name. It made me so uncomfortable. I've been quiet since, and he said she would be his second choice if he wasn't with me.
I'm wondering if he secretly admires and loves her? Is this all just leading to a break up?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (112)
Okay that's shady as hell, break up with him. He should be making you feel like the only one, not some 2nd rate meat.
I can't believe he'd do that to you.. That's so inconsiderate and low of him! You should never feel like this in a relationship. You need to talk to him, or break it off asap.
That's pretty creepy to be honest.
That's a little excessive, but you should probably talk to him about how much it bothers you before doing anything drastic. He might be trying to tell you something, and that something may not necessarily be that he wants to break up with you.
That is pretty dumb though. No guy should be stupid enough to be that blatant about how hot he thinks other girls are (around his girlfriend)
You should address this issue immediately because there should be no reason why you should allow this fool to disrespect you like that? If you knew the answer to his game, why did you ask it? Yes, we all have crushes, but there is a line. You should not feel your moral decreasing and your paranoia increasing because of his sexual urges. You need to stand up for yourself and address the issue. If he cannot conform, you should leave.
Looks like he's holding out for his crush, not getting over her.
You should leave him. He's not even trying to pay attention to you.
He's trying to make the other girl more real.
You don't deserve that. You deserve someone who wants you and only you.
Nike Dunk SB Shoes
Nike air Jordan shoes
nike air max shoes
Nike Air Shox shoes
Nike basketball shoes
Nike air Yeezy shoes
RADII Footwear
Gucci sneakers
Supra shoes
nike air force one shoes
Cole haan Fashion
Prada shoes
MBT shoes
Louis Vuitton shoes
High heel shoes
Herve Leger
Karen Millen
D & G sneakers
Timberland boots
CL Men Shoes
Shmack Shoes
Coogi Shoes
Vans Shoes
Puma Shoes
Vlado Shoes
ATO Matsumoto shoes
Reebok basketball shoes
Vibram FiveFingers
Men jeans clothing
Women jeans clothing
Ed Hardy Hoodies
Men T-shirt Clothing
Women T-shirt Clothing
Men long sleeve t-shirt
Women long sleeve t-shirt
AAA Brand Handbags
bags & handbags & luggage
Brand Scarves
Hair Straightener
Monster Headphones
Swimwear&Bikini
Cheap Moncler
How fucking thick can he be? He has no regard for you. No respect whatsoever. He probably asked you to say someone else's name so that he'd feel justified in lusting over someone else. Good for you for not budging... bad for him being a useless dunce.
That's not good at all. That's horrible actually. Almost borderline mental cheating...
I completely agree with @Kara_K. What he did is completely disrespectful and inconsiderate. A man who truly loves you will always put you and your feelings first.
And you're still with him... why?
Chuck him.
Break up with him. Obviously he doesn't love nor respect you enough. And he seems to be in love with someone else. Why stay with him if he is going to continue doing this?
Break up with him before he cheats on you.. I bet if she gives him a free pass he will take it and he should treat you like your worthless you deserve more
Well you have a few options;
- You can break up with him
- Tell him how you feel about him talking about her like that in that way
- see what kind of person they are and if they have any interest in him
personally, i would stick with option 2 (if you love him enough) than (or if you dont) one, because i will tell you now if he is anywhere between 16-23 and he is not try to have sex with you in anyway shape or form? hes probably already cheating. heck talking and or thinking about some other girl around you in that way seems kinda asinine already. the fact that he would do that in sex is worse. so yeah, make an issue.
You should break up with him because since you've been with him for 3 years, he's had plenty of time to get over her but apparently he hasn't. I also think that your significant other should think that you're the hottest/sexiest/most beautiful girl in the world while he's with you (but maybe that's just too romantic...)
Or at least talk to him about this if you haven't already and see how he reacts.
Dump him. He's into that other girl and if she ever gives him the chance he's throwing you under the bus. Been there, done that. I'd be gone so fast.
This dude is bad news. Break up. Stat.
And don't take it personally. It's not about you, it's about his own egotistical attitude. Sorry. :/
wow that's really f'd up. id have no problem with my man fantasizing about jesse jane when hes plowing me, but someone he knows in real life? ohhh hell no. i'd go kung fu on his ass and on to the next one
If it makes you uncomfortable, now is probably the time to get out. I will deviate a little and say I don't think he's necessarily done anything wrong... there are a ton of people here who will say it is wrong, but then conversely, be upset if they find out their boyfriend isn't telling them who else he is attracted to/thinks is hot. People tend to praise others being "honest," but with the caveat that their honesty is flattering.
In all reality, no matter who you're with, unless they're so focused on you to the point of being obsessive, they will still sometimes be attracted to other people. It's not a diss to you because it's not about you, it's just about being human. If any boyfriend ever tells you they do not find any other woman in the world even a little bit attractive, they are probably lying to you. Although I will say that, if he knows of your insecurities, it's rude to continually comment on how she looks like a model. If he doesn't know of your insecurities, it's worth mentioning them rather than assuming he can read your mind. (I say this because he might assume, as I might, that you feel secure enough in the relationship after 3 years that he can mention this without it being taken as a sign that he wants to cheat on you)
And really, if you don't want someone to visualize someone else during sex, then don't ask them to think about someone else. You walked into that one.
It's one thing to be attracted to someone else but he's taking it to a different level. If she were to ever give him a chance, he'd leave you in a heartbeat.
Break up with him. YOU'RE his back up. If she's available, he'll leave you in a snap. Who the fuck imagines a friend while having sex with the S.O.? Wtf...
Your boyfriend sounds like an asshole. My ex of three years came home from hanging with his buddy Jay one day (this was like two summers ago), and started telling me about how he was checking out my old next door neighbor, this skanky girl I couldn't stand. He pissed me off so badly I threw the TV remote at his head and screamed in his face... yeah that brought the worst out in me. Is your boyfriend really worth making you feel like less than YOU'RE worth? I think not. Nobody here knows your relationship like you do but if he's making you feel that low about yourself, especially by making inappropriate comments about some other girl, he isn't for you honey
Dump his ass
scarletmoth's comment was really spot on, but i feel like your boyfriend "set you up" to walk into that trap so that he'd feel okay mouthing her name. that's not OK, in my opinion - it's manipulative and plays on your naivete and trust.
it seems to me like you need to have a good hard talk with him. i know you have spent 3 years with him and it's hard to untangle all the pieces of you from the pieces of him after that long... but i would leave him, and tell him that if he is truly interested in you, he can court you and this time he has the chance to treat you like his #1 instead of his fall-back because #1 is with his friend.if a relationship hurts your self esteem and makes you feel the FB-stalk compulsion (been there), it's NOT a healthy one and not good for you...
even if you feel like leaving him is extreme, you NEED to have a serious talk about this ASAP. before you speak to him though, make a note to yourself about ALL the points you want to discuss and keep them in mind, so that the discussion doesn't stray and leave some sore spots unaddressed.
stay strong, lovely. stick to your gut feelings and instincts - you know more than you give yourself credit for, always.