Wednesday, 25 May 2011
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Our Own Language of Love
My boyfriend and I have made up our own language. Call it disgustingly romantic or totally lame – but it exists, nevertheless. I'm not completely sure when the birth of the language came about, but we have been speaking it for about two years now. It's not baby talk – because I hate baby talk, but that's probably the closest way I can come to describing it. That, combined with a southern twang that the two of us have picked up for these purposes. I once complained to him about those horrible "baby talkers" and his answer was "You are one." I refuted the accusation whole-heartedly, but that doesn't mean we sound any less crazy.Whenever my mom hears me on the phone with my boyfriend, she rolls her eyes and kicks me out of the room. The "voice" sickens her. It would probably sicken me, too. What usually happens is I make fun of "relationshippy people" until I'm in a relationship. Then, when people are grossed out by me and my boyfriend the way I was once grossed out by others, I find myself saying things like "Oh, stop it" and "Wait until you fall in love." I know, I know. Ew.
It's kind of like when someone on the train sneezes three times in a row and I'm willing them with my mind to leave the vicinity immediately because the nastiness is too much for me. And then the following week I'm the one sneezing like a madwoman and wondering why people are giving me such looks of disgust. I'm aware of how hypocritical that all is. The double standards and condescension are killing me, too.
I laugh when I think about the episode of Seinfeld when Jerry and his girlfriend-at-the-time, Sheila, call each other "Shmoopy" and everyone around them is horrified. They say things like, "Bye, Shmoopy. No, you're Shmoopy. No, you. No, you" and rub noses. We're not that bad; okay, okay, except for the rubbing noses thing. It's funny to see George's reaction to the nicknames and cutesy voices. It's basically a combination of disgust, discomfort, and horror.
Besides my family being totally disgusted by me, another bad part of having your own private language is that I often catch myself answering either my boyfriend (or, ahh! other people) in my "voice" in public! I'll be on the train and catch myself calling him one of the 10+ nicknames I've invented for him. It's hardly even noticeable for me, considering I casually slip into my other voice and language so easily; it's the looks I get from people that cause me to realize what I've been doing. You know, the "I'm just gonna sit over here now, away from the crazy girl" looks. Then again, maybe I should continue embarrassing myself. It is nice to have my own section on the train....
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About the Author
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- From: Jenn
- About Me: I have been on more bad dates than I have fingers and toes to count on -- and I'm only in my early twenties! I laugh when I watch 'Sex & the City,' because I've had so many dysfunctional relationships that they might as well as made me their 5th friend. Even so, I used to love going on dates with different guys (now I only let one guy take me out on dates), eating great food, and talking on the phone until 3AM. I never did get over the idea that a guy should treat a girl like a princess -- even if I've encountered one too many frogs.
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Comments (42)
I'm confused if your language is a "language" or just a voice.
I don't do things like that with my boyfriend. I wouldn't feel like myself doing those type things. It's too green for me. We're affectionate, but more of that "pause and give each other a silent warm smile in the middle of a sentence," kind of thing.
LOL! This was a very funny post, I understand how you feel. I get completely aggro when my mother and her Husband do it... Yet me and my Husband do it all the time... lol
My boyfriend and I both talk with our hand a lot. read: flail. So, we're slowly developing our own sign language based on random hand movements that amuse us.
It's okay. Sometimes my bf and I do have our own language and sometimes people catch us talking in it. Though they generally laugh.
this blog wouldn't have been so bad if you would have left out
"It's kind of like when someone on the train sneezes three times in a row and I'm willing them with my mind to leave the vicinity immediately because the nastiness is too much for me. And then the following week I'm the one sneezing like a madwoman and wondering why people are giving me such looks of disgust. I'm aware of how hypocritical that all is. The double standards and condescension are killing me, too."
this section.
i didn't realize sneezing more than three times made someone nasty.
and think you messed up your last sentence.
read it a couple times.
@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL@xanga - now that you mention it, her post does kind of offend me because i've been sneezing up a storm because my allergies have gotten so bad this week...does that make me nasty even though i shower and bathe myself every day? LOL.
@Anonymous - she just has to put in oneeee little statement to offend the general public, i think.
I don't think we do this around our friends or family, but when we're together in the car, for whatever purpose or logic, we just randomly have nonsense talks like:
He's look at me and say "moo."
My reply would generally be "meow moo."
It doesn't mean anything but we know what the heck we're talking about when we interchange the use of "moo" or "meow" in singles or in multitudes of sounds mostly dominated by the two sounds made by a cow or a cat.
It kind of started when I tried to meow in order to draw interest of his cat (she took a while to warm up to stealing "her" man) and when it made him laugh instead of her meow in reply, it kind of stuck. But I don't think we've done in around our friends; although my brother says that my voice instantly changes when I pick up the phone when he calls vs yelling obscene things at him when we're trash talking to each other about leaving a new towel on the rack (yes, I'm turning almost 29 and I still do that to my brother who's 25 this year).
But now you know, don't you? When you are single, you tend to just scoff at others who are too cute to be around with, until you realize you're just as disgustingly sweet on your sig other with petnames and private language skills.
@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL@xanga - At first I didn't think this post was written by her, but then after I clicked on who wrote it, I kinda figured it was her, especially with yet another generalization, haha.
Kurt and I have pet names for each other and they're too cutesy for my friends to handle. They're like "Oh I'm going to go vomit now because it's so adorable" and I don't even care. I try not to let anyone else find out though lol. It's private!
Sneezing makes one nasty? You better get used to that shit. Everyone sneezes, usually more than once.
While this is your least offensive post, it's also your most confusing. I have absolutely no idea what you're even trying to convey here.
@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL@xanga - dude. that was totally what i was thinking. it's almost like she put that whole section in there to give reason to all the offensive things she's been writing.
ALSO, PEOPLE CAN'T CONTROL WHEN THEY SNEEZE!!!! dumb...
I think regardless of what this girl writes, everyone will continually to pick apart her sentences and find meaning not there. She is tainted per say by some people. It's sad really.
I feel like the habits people do when they sneeze are nasty. Or rather the lack of them. ;/ But that is just me. Like for instance, I try to sneeze in my elbow instead of just in the air or on someone. It makes it easier to wash later.
@Anonymous - oh god are you serious. DON'T BE OFFENDED. it's like "OMG, SOMEONE CALLED ME NASTY. MY FEEEEELINGS ARE HURTED."
@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL@xanga - you too. why don't you actually comment on what she WROTE instead of just whining.
@Formula1_9@xanga - where's your comment on what she wrote?
hypocrite :)
At least you guys talk about enjoyable things in an affectionate way.
goa
also he didn't like me calling him my "poopy"I meant it kindly.
@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL@xanga - again you criticize instead of responding to the comment.
allow me to clarify. why don't you comment on what she actually wrote instead of just whining about what she actually wrote. I wasn't criticizing the article, so I have no need to comment on the article.
additionally, I think you should know that adding smilies onto the end of insults makes them no less insulting, rather it makes you seem condescending, a trait not generally esteemed.@Formula1_9@xanga - Um, we did comment on what she was writing hun, she made an unnecessary generalization and we're just pointing it out. and like the other girl said, you're not saying anything constructive about her article either yet you expect us to, lol. at least we're taking actual excerpts from her wannabe cute article.
trying to tell us what to do while you're not doing anything constructive with this article either makes you more of the bigot.
What surprises me about this post is that you, being the little princess that you are, would subject yourself to using public transportation. Your boyfriend is obviously a lazy hack if he can't afford a private car for your royal highness, and you should probably dump him immediately.
@Fliz@xanga - It's okay if she thinks people who sneeze at least three times on a public transportation are nasty, because us people who sneeze three times think she's nastier and she doesn't even have to sneeze three times. if we actually saw her looking at us with disgust just for sneezing three times...we'd probably think she's a stuck up queen, but then again, yea what is she doing on a public transportation in the first place?
i thought this post almost redeemed herself, but of course she had to make yet another generalization.
Wow, I didn't realize how horrible everyone was until this post. At this point, there is literally nothing that she could do to appease you bitter people who just have to keep commenting, so just chalk it up to the fact that you don't agree with her and LEAVE IT ALONE. Your comments are not constructive or appreciated by anyone.
I thought this post was well written and funny, and she is very aware of the hypocisy of the sneezing situation (which was obviously dramatized to create a point, its called a hyperbole). Anyone criticizing her for that seems to completely ignore the fact that she says "I'm aware of how hypocritical that all is. The double standards and condescension are killing me, too."
and @SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL@xanga - I don't really see whats wrong with her last sentance there. She's saying that the irony of her condescending tone and the double standards she has placed (one standard for herself and one for the other person) is killing her too because she's AWARE of it. She's basically saying that she agrees with you, that what she's saying is hypocritical and doesn't really make sense, but hey, its what she feels.
We ALL are guilty of slight hypocrisy, usually in these exact situations (where you find yourself feeling grossed out by the person behind you sneezing all over the back of your head, until you remember that time that you were sick and probably sneezed on someone elses head).
How sad that you feel the need to continually hate and criticize others where there is absolutely no need.
@Fliz@xanga - come on. unnecessary.
@micah - Was it? Oops...
@micah - like the other girl said -- this post was fine up until the public transportation generalization. for someone who thinks they're a princess why is she even on a public transportation?
shouldn't she be escorted by her laid back boyfriend in a chariot to all places she goes to? hmm?
yeah, and her generalization was completely unnecessary about saying people are nasty for sneezing three times on a public transportation.
Someone needs to teach the OP how to really write without sounding like a snob in all over posts.
like we both said, the post was fine up until that generalization.