i agree with the first comment. it  depends what he did and for how long he will be there. jails are typically used for people staying a year or less. prison for a year or more. it also depends how long i have dated this guy and how serious our relationship is. but do i want to be with a criminal? fuck no. jobs for convicts are scarce at that, i refuse to be the one paying the bills because he was dumb enough to screw his life over. im betting i wouldnt wait. lol. not unless he is worth it, no damn way.

@sonnigenmai@xanga -  agreed

If he's in jail for something that he really did, unless I was married to him, I would not stick around.  

I am 95% sure I wouldn't want to stay with someone who did something to land them in jail, especially since I am planning to have a career in forensics.

sounds like county jail. I've visited people in jail before, but they weren't my significant other, but a relative. sometimes they are temporarily held there until they are transferred. when my relative was transferred, we had to drive about 3 hours to visit him. the security check is more strict there. the visitor dress code is strict-no clothing with any logos on them, no gang colors-red/blue especially, no see through clothes, no shorts/skirts or jeans-regular pants only, etc. fill out forms and wait to be called. you take all metal things and shoes off to place in this container, then go through the metal detector. they give you an ultra violet stamp on your hand, then wait in this enclosed space with electric fences for the security guard to open the door, so when you hear a buzz noise, quickly open the door and then walk down this long path about a block away where there is another security guard that checks your i.d. again. you're assigned to this small round table that is very low to the ground as if it was a kid's table, so that you can't pass anything underneath the tables and a few chairs. you sit there and wait, which might take 30 mins., because the prisoner has to go through a security check before and after. they have a mini play area for kids, but it is just a blanket and some toys on the floor. couples can hug/cuddle but no kissing. there is a vending machine for you to buy snacks, but you can't bring in your wallet and no cash, only coins allowed, which must be carried in a see-through bag, so we just used those plastic produce bags from grocery stores since we didn't have a see-through coin purse. there is even a microwave if you buy the sandwiches or popcorn:D there is a small outdoor gated electric fence patio area that you can take a mini stroll at for some fresh air. there is a security guard sitting behind this tinted window that is watching everybody, so if you break the rules, they'll quickly yell and tell you. this wasn't a high security prison though with serial killers,etc, so some physical contact was allowed. you can take a kodak group picture if you ask the security guard the prisoners don't wear the orange jumpsuit like county jail inmates do. no striped jumpsuit either. their uniform is similar to the mail man lol they wear either a long sleeve or short sleeved light blue dress shirt and dark denim jeans with a nice pair of black dress shoes. I think this is what they wear for visiting time you can stay there to visit until closing time, so if you go early, you can talk for a few hours. when you exit, you put your hand underneath the black light to check if you are the original visitor and not a prisoner trying to escape you take your shoes off again and go through the metal detector. this is just my experiences. I can't say the same for other level jails. I'd wait depending on my relationship with the guy and if he has deep remorse to change. the relative, who was locked up for many years that I visited in jail sometimes indeed changed for the better when he was freed from prison. he never graduated from high school-just got his ged in prison, and despite not being a college grad, he was a hard worker and only after a few short years, he now makes a 6 figure annual income from being a self made entrepreneur, and is actively ambitious to achieve many goals. he had no prior business skills nor did he take any business classes, it was all self taught, which is truly inspiring.

I've NEVER dated anybody who was in jail. However, if the guy I'm dating did go to jail, I'd be the girl down there every chance I got, writing as many letters as I could find time to write, answering every phone call, doing whatever I could do to get that contact. Even thoughhhhhh, he just looked at me, while reading this, and said, "Why yo gon lie on the internet.  . .?" d: I'm not lying, honey. When you actually love someone, physical contact isn't everything. The women who come back after slamming the phones down and acting a fool are probably the ones with the BEST relationships. The problem occurs when that stuff stops happening. Fighting, even in those circumstances, sometimes means you care an unbelievable amount. . .

Only if he's in for false accusations. Or say, if he sped because he was in a rush for a major job interview. 

wow. some of you are so quick to judge. no matter what he's in jail for, if he didn't hurt you and you love him, stick it out. what if the roles were reversed?

@LaDyStRaWbeRrY@xanga - I have no experience of this. But I wouldn't expect them to stick by me. I would just want them to be happy. My happiness comes second. If they do, because they feel the same way about me, depending on the stretch and the crime, I would tell them to leave me, or wait it out.

Wow. Well in that situation, I totally understand. That is the same post where you suggested getting married right? Why not do this, wouldn't this get him out of jail if he was a citizen? I mean you are pregnant, its not like your doing it for a passport....

@ELIZerson@xanga - @Footballblogs@xanga - @AsylumBlue - I was pregnant with his twins, but unfortunately I went into labor and delievered them while I was twenty two weeks. So there is no pregnancy anymore. Him being incarcerated for it all didn't make anything easier for either of us. Just to clear that up.

Also. before everyone starts saying it again, nope, can't get married, after you're officially deported you've got no luck of ever being in the United States no matter what.

@AsylumBlue - thank you for linking this.  I think if I were in this situation, and I really loved the man, I would have married him to avoid having him deported if that were possible. I'd especially try to do this if I ended up pregnant.