Saturday, 21 May 2011
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Can WE Take You Out Sometime?
When I was a freshman in university, there came a night when I was outside my residence building, juggling a soccer ball with a few people from my floor as they smoked freshly-purchased cigarettes, when someone shouted at me from the street. I looked up and saw two men, very well dressed, urging me to pass them the ball. So I did.Their names were Alex and Emre, and they were from Argentina and Turkey, respectively. They were only in town for the weekend. Alex was cute but a bit effeminate and very easy to talk to, and Emre, for that first night, was silent. Tall, dark, handsome (but not in an over-the-top way) - and silent.
We juggled and (Alex and I) talked for an hour or so, and then I called it a night. Alex kissed me on the cheek and asked if they could take me out the next night, which was Saturday. It didn't even occur to me until after I'd accepted and gone up to bed that he had not asked if he could take me out... but rather "Can we take you out?"
The next night Alex and Emre took me to a martini lounge which was all red on the inside, where we ordered lychee martinis and a cheese plate and spoke of many things. When the cheese plate came I put a piece of cheese on top of a piece of bread and brought it to my mouth, whereupon Alex said:
This is how I know you are American.
... Oh?
In France, each food is savored separately. Americans just want to eat.
Well then. Duly noted. Not French, never have pretended to be French, but yes, you're right.
Later, Alex offered me a cigarette (this being the year before smoking was banned indoors in the city). He lit a match, and I brought the cigarette to the flame, at which point Alex said:
This, also, is how I know you are American. A lady waits for the flame to come to her.
Hahaha. Alright then. Not only not French, but not lady-like to boot. Got me there.
Anyhow, Alex managed to overlook my unfortunate faux-pas (what's the plural of faux-pas?) long enough to ask me to come back to his hotel room... with both of them (!!). While I was young and reckless at the time, and he had schooled me in the ways of lady etiquette, the truth was I wasn't attracted to Alex, and never really had a fantasy to get with two men at once... and so I ended up making out with the tall, dark, silent one instead (after which he had no trouble speaking).
Then they had to leave. Emre and I kept in touch for a long time via e-mail. But to this day, whenever I am faced with cheese and bread, it is Alex's words that I think of. And if I still smoked, I'm pretty sure I would wait, just to amuse myself, for the flame to come to me.
Have you ever been (or wanted to be) courted by two men at the same time? Have you ever been advised by a man about how a "lady" acts? How did you respond?
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About the Author
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- From: ThatBirdisAbsurd
- About Me: I just moved to New York after studying and living abroad for five years in Canada, Europe and India. One amazing thing about being back in America: knowing EXACTLY how to say what you want to say, RIGHT when you want to say it. English makes dating a lot easier.
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Comments (22)
Blablabla. Anyway... about the end of the world, who's in!?
Either way, it didn't seem too odd until the hotel room proposition. That's... hmm.
Wow, a really nice story. =) Thanks for sharing!
(I kind of want to write it now)
I've been courted by several people at once. It's more obnoxious than anything because I've always a leaning towards only one of them (which make that one obnoxiously jealous and the others just obnoxious). It's much more fun to be in the beginning stages of a relationship, even though your French men seem intriguing.
Also, I really hope the plural is faux-pi ... even though it's not.
It didn't get too weird until the hotel room. That's... uh...
@LogicalFallaciesXx@xanga - Apparently, the plural of "faux pas" is the same as the singular.
@tavatava@xanga - Whatever, Captain No Fun.
That's kinda hot, but considering the countries they come from, I'd have to say no. Eastern europe and South America are pretty big in human smuggling, and I wouldn't be able to fight two guys off.
Yeah while it does sound kind of exciting to just end up going up to a hotel room with two foreign guys it's still pretty scary. I mean, just think if there was something you didn't want to do or you changed your mind and wanted to leave, if things turned badly, it's really hard to fight off two men. It's really sad that we as women have to always think of the worst circumstance and picture men in their worst light but it's a true reality.
this reminds me of the movie TAKEN lolz
@LogicalFallaciesXx@xanga - :(
Well. That's sort of a naughty fantasy of mine. Not the little digs about what a lady I'm not, obviously. The going back to a hotel room with two men thing. I'd never do it, it's not something I actually want and would bother with in reality. It's like all the wild things you imagine you'd spend tonnes of money on when you win the lottery. If you actually win you find you don't really want that stuff... so it goes with this fantasy. :P
I know Americans aren't the most couthe of people on the whole, but really, which set of people can claim to be? That guy didn't need to behave as though he was so superior... I don't believe anyone is classy because of their country of birth and how the people there live, haha. It's nothing to do with that. I've never been told things like that though, so I don't comprehend how it offensive it would/wouldn't be.
I remember a long time ago I was 16 and had a huge crush on this guy I worked with at an amusement park. He was a total bad ass, had a notorious reputation as a man-whore and even though he flirted with me because I am female, I was way too much of a goody goody to ever stand a chance.
He started dating this girl which was really weird for him. One girl. A committed relationship. Not him at all, but at the same time he became like really, really best of ever friends with this guy. The three became inseparable. One time I was talking to his best friend and was told what awesome and crazy nights the three of them had together. Now I was a 16 year old homeschooler who was too naive to realize that everybody I worked with was smoking pot, so the very fact that my antennae went off and I started suspecting the 3 of them were sleeping together, not just the 2 of them, was in no way typical of me. A couple years later when facebook became the big thing, my old crush friended me and I saw his sexual orientation was "bisexual" so I finally asked him over chat what was up with those three back in the day. Turns out I was correct. I always thought that was super weird. 3 people in a relationship. How does that work if you want to break up with one person but not the other, but the person you want to stay with wants to stay with both of you? Too many logistics.
As for the etiquette lessons, I am so one of those fiercely patriotic people to the point of ridiculousness that gets really riled up when foreigners come to my country and insult it. I would have pointed out that he could tell I was an American girl by the simple fact that I shave my pits and have good teeth. My brother-in-law is Bulgarian, he used to be chock-full of these comments until he took an American friend back to Bulgaria and recieved a taste of his own medicine. I just can't imagine going to another country and pointing out how uncool the people there were because they acted un-American.
but the french Hors d'œuvre or appetizers usually consists of crackers, cheese, sliced ham, etc stacked up on each other and consumed at the same time
they are a foreign tag team recruiting a woman for a threesome
those foreigners aren't smooth talking enough and their lady etiquette lines would've turned me off, so I wouldn't even make out with the hotter guy.
Eh - Europeans are strange folk. Best not listen to 'em in terms of etiquette. An American lady acts like an American lady. If they don't much care for it, fuck 'em (and not literally).
@tavatava@xanga - ignorance doesn't unite under any one flag, its more like a parasite you can't get rid of. Lol. Like cityTV (if anyone gets this, your awesome)
I say grab a bottle of Jim Beam, the two dudes, and c'est la vie... http://mdongivin.mancouch.com/731964256/the-devils-threesome/
It's a fantasy that could never happen to me without extreme precautions.
Ohh hotel room. You should have.
funny how the effeminate guy schooled you in the ways of a "lady." wtf
also, my fiance always calls me "such a prim-proper" lady... -_-; when I'm washing my hands, I will not stop to fend him off when he's trying to tickle me, apparently, because I'm a lady. or I always wash my fruits before eating, same with cups, spoons, and always moisturize after washing hands.
i thought this was BASIC stuff?? -_-; hm