Friday, 20 May 2011
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"Everything But" Girls
The other day, I was talking amongst my girlfriends about "everything but" girls. An "everything but" girl will participate in everything but sex. She will go all the way up to oral sex and after that, she stops. Sometimes it if for religious purposes and sometimes, I guess it is just all that the girl is comfortable with.What is your opinion on "everything but" girls? Is it admirable or just plain silly?
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About the Author
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- From: kALIAS1334@xanga
- Name: kALIAS1334
- Location: Dallas, Texas, United States
- About Me: Student and a waitress. Putting my thoughts out there in the online world, mostly as a stress reliever, but comments and opinions are always appreciated. :)
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Comments (72)
Why is it silly? It's her body, she doesn't what she wants with it. She knows her limits and sticks to it. As long as she is comfortable with her decision who is anyone to judge? People have varying sexual appetites and some may not be ready.
@AmeliaHart@xanga - Agreed!
silly, in the sense that i think it's illogical. why does it make a difference if i stick my finger or my schlong (or tongue i guess) all up in your snatch? all of them are sexual pleasure caused by somebody else.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - depends on what you're concerned about. i agree that it's illogical if a girl is trying to avoid sex in general. but when i was unable to afford birth control pills, i was an "everything but" girl because my main worry was getting pregnant.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - To answer your question personally, I view a finger and a schlong very differently (I would hope that everyone does, lol). Someone fingering me is definitely not the same as having sex. I see sex as more intimate than that, and I'd want to share it with a person who actually cares for me. Oral sex, or anything before it, doesn't mean a whole lot to me. It's pleasurable, of course, but it's just not on the same level as sharing yourself with another.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - i could understand this. i'm more confused as to people who have the same opinion as @not_your_concern@xanga. i don't see how each of those things is any different. in all cases, someone's seeing you naked--and in fact, in one of those cases, they even have their mouth on your junk. i beg to differ that that's any less intimate than going all the way.
this is also why i think people have messed up definitions of the word virgin. if some chick has blown every guy on the block (or vice-versa i suppose), but says she's never gone all the way, i definitely don't qualify her as a virgin.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - I don't get naked every time I suck a guy's dick, and guys don't get naked just so they can finger me. I'm not saying it hasn't happened, but it's just not the same to me. Does it really matter if someone has a different definition of these things? Virginity is another category... I can see what you're saying, but I just see sex and oral sex as two separate things. They are similar, but they are not the same. Perhaps because I went through a "slut" phase back in high school, I view sex a lot differently now. I don't want to sleep with just anyone; it makes me feel worthless and slutty. That's just me though. Everyone's views are their own.
P.S., too_pretty_to_die has a good point. There's always a risk with STDs and pregnancy when it comes to vaginal sex.
I was an "everything but" girl--didn't know it had a name though. Eh, well I never had any type of penetration (finger, tongue, penis, etc) but i was still stimulated in other ways if you catch my drift.
I viewed sex as a very intimate thing and didn't want to have intercourse with someone I didn't trust.
it is silly to blowj when you don't want to have intercourse with the person. no sane woman gets pleasure out of blowjing, its almost altruistic.and its more intimate than intercourse imo. i can understand a woman doing everything but intercourse and oral.
@katethoughts@xanga - i totally agree! i never understood those girls who would blow dudes casually, its like what exactly do they get out of that? it just seems so desperate to me.
hrm. if its what she is comfrotable with whatever. but i think, in my personal opinion, its stupid. just because everything is freakin intimate! lol. if anything i think oral sex is more intimate than sex cuz you are down there putting effort into something more than some people put effort into sex. not me, but some people. lol. its like you are doing all the foreplay, things leading to the sex but stopping it before. reminds me what a friend told me she wanted to save herself for marriage. i was cool with that until she told me she did everything but, including anal sex! i was shocked. lol. she felt since it wasnt vaginal , it didnt count. not in my book! i thought it was the most idiotic thing anyone ever told me. anyway, from what i have seen, the girls who do anything but seem to be "sluttier" than those who put out. since they think it doesnt count, they do all the other stuf most especially oral sex, more often. but like i said, if its what she feels comfortable with, all is good.
Well if it's what they want, it's what they want. I don't think it's admirable or silly, it just /is/. Would I be friends with one? Sure. Would I date one? Um... I'd try.
In the Bible though, you're supposed to absolutely nothing that can bring about arousal, so... I don't get the 'religious purposes' thing.
Who are we to judge what anyone else would want to do with their body? A person's sex life is shouldn't be judged.
why would this be silly? if that's as far as you wanna go, there's nothing wrong with it.
It's silly, why would you give and recieve oral sex, but not vagina to penis sex? Oral sex is naister because you have to put you mouth on someone's private part and smell...... Whatever.
I have two things to say in response to this:
1. I think it takes a lot of self control to remain a virgin for that long, ESPECIALLY if you are sexually active (minus actual intercourse). I wish that I would have waited longer... A few years longer. So in my opinion, anybody that DOES wait for the right person doesn't need to be knocked for it at all.
2. I would also like to say in response to the blowjob stuff, maybe I'm crazy, but I find enjoyment in it. I have always liked the act, I like seeing the current man in my life shiver with pleasure. What can I say? I'm good at what I do, and I certainly don't just go around blowing everybody. Its not an act of desperation, and for all the girls who think it is, I think YOU'RE nuts. And I certainly am not so selfish as to demand oral from my partner and not reciprocate. I understand that some girls don't like it, but I feel like it comes in the whole sex package. It makes men happy (if you aren't absolutely terrible at it), and it can be pleasurable for both partners.
@katethoughts@xanga - no sane woman gets pleasure out of blowjing, its almost altruistic
You are either lying or just being ridiculous.
Plenty of women get wet by pleasuring their man orally.
This whole topic is silly. I once went out with a girl that she was everything but - I just did her butt or mouth the whole time ...I told her that she was just denying herself the best hole ;)
@vain_apathy@xanga - I honestly do enjoy giving a guy a blowjob. It gives me a rush of power and confidence to know that he is receiving pleasure from such a simple act that I control. When a guy is panting and weak from a blowjob, I feel proud of myself that I could please him that well. Not saying that I go around blowing every guy I'm interested in, but when I'm with someone, I don't mind just giving a blowjob with no sex sometimes.
As for the main question, I think it's silly to judge anyone else on what they do.. If that's how someone thinks, then oh well. It's their choice on what they want to do. I'm not really that kinda girl (usually it'll lead to sex, depending on time/place/etc), but if someone is, then whatever.
If its religious purposes oral sex is just as bad i mean its impurity! anyone who uses that excuse is a hipocrite.
Everyone has their limits. While there are certainly people who do things that may seem counterintuitive (or even ridiculous, like the example of the girl having anal but not vaginal sex), in the end, the point is that It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga Thank you for
"this is also why i think people have messed up definitions of the word virgin. if some chick has blown every guy on the block (or vice-versa i suppose), but says she's never gone all the way, i definitely don't qualify her as a virgin."
Women don't seem to understand this sometimes, it's aggravating.
rose mcgowan looked very hot in the stripper pole scene in the grindhouse movie
I don't subscribe to this "everything but..." practice. I don't do any sexual things with a guy unless I fully trust him and we're committed to each other. I'm not religious. just personal preference/choice.
i will say that everything but is definitely safer if you don't wanna get preggo. beyond that obvious practicality of everything but, i don't see a big deal if both people are satisfied with that. i think thats what it comes down to in general with sex. as long as everyone involved likes, agrees with, is satisfied by what is going on and nothing illegal is happening and everyone is clean, who the eff cares if you have intercourse, just have oral, take it up the ass, fuck six people at once, dress up in diapers, etc etc? why care so much what others do? if youre not compatible with someone sexually thats different. if some girl is everything but and you wanna have sex, well unless you reach a compromise, youre not gonna be satisfied and thats prob not the person for you. but beyond that, just find who you mesh with, whether youre having sex, having everything but, abstaining altogether or doing something entirely different.
Usually, it's silly. I say that because most women do this because they feel that if they don't have sex, they are somehow "purer" or whatever. But if you're bobbing on many cocks, then what makes you clean? Just because he put it in one hole and not another? Obviously it depends on the woman and her reasons, but that is a common one that I find very annoying.
It's totally fine if they want to set boundaries. It's respectable.
But I wouldn't be opposed if she didn't mind going all the way ;)