Wednesday, 18 May 2011
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Relationships With Language Barriers
Since arriving in Germany at the beginning of the summer, I have fallen in love with a local. While my German has improved - much of that reason being my want to better communicate with him - the language can still be a problem. When dating someone with another culture and language, you have to be ready for frustrations, miscommunication, and embarrassing mix-ups. The most important thing I've learned is to keep an open mind and always be prepared to laugh it off.
I can not always say what I mean in the words that I want to, and constantly repeating myself with different inflections and wording until one of them is correct can be exhausting. Sometimes I feel so frustrated that I blurt out English - which my boyfriend generally fails to understand. On the other hand, he is very supportive. He offers suggestions for what I am trying to say, and repeats everything with me until I can say it correctly. A few days ago we were at the train station together and I wanted to take the escalator. I called it Auftreppe, because Aufzug I know means elevator and Treppe means stairs. He smiled and taught me the word Rolltreppe. Just like when a child points to a color in a book or an animal in a zoo and asks the parent What is this?, it takes a lot of time and patience to learn a new language in a new country.
Sometimes things don't translate well. Mixing up werden and waeren is like mixing up We definitely will and We could but I doubt it. A few heated moments have passed when the wrong word was used. Also some words in German, regrettably, sound exactly the same to me. Attempts at good night have often turned into good naked, and man this weather is humid today sounds awfully close to man this weather is homosexual today. All in all, being prepared to laugh it off and accept corrections can actually make the mix-ups fun.
A few days after we started dating, I decided to ask him to kiss me. Butzenis a word used in Rheinland for kiss. What I thought was butz mich came out a lot more like bums mich - bumsen vs butzen. There was a very awkward silence - a literally stop moving and breathing silence - before he asked me to clarify exactly what I was asking for. After clarifying I wanted a kiss and not sex, we laughed and kissed and laughed again. It has become an inside joke between us. When more awkward moments occur in our attempts to understand one another, we laugh it off all the same.
Love exists and communicates between people regardless of language barriers. A person doesn't require Shakespeare's prose from her lover to know she is loved. Instead of looking at our language and cultural differences as a barrier, we find it as just an adventure to bring us closer. Understanding is a bonding process in all relationships - ours is just a little different.
M
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About the Author
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- From: sonnigenmai@xanga
- Name: May
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Comments (10)
Awwhh this was cute :3
Most people will probably have to deal with a relationship including a language barrier at some point. I think you have a good take on it.~
I enjoyed this post. :]
Oh I understand this 100%!!!!!
Living in Mexico for 9 months and falling in love with a local is difficult. I've said so many stupid things. He knew a bit of english when I met him and his english has gotten soooo much better. My spanish has gotten better too. :) I wish the best of luck for you two!!this was a great read. loved it.
I remember reading The Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O'Dell (based on a true story) in which there was a friendship with a monumental language barrier. Neither of them started out knowing any words of the others' language. It was amazing to think about how they were able to say so much without speaking at all and eventually learn to speak to each-other fluently.
Great post. Thoroughly enjoyed it.
so cute. i was just thinking of different language relationships today...i wish, actually, for this. It would be a fun adventure , and a great way to learn another language and person :)
SO cute! Good luck! You can do it! Languages can be learned! :)
Great post!
My boyfriend and I started out, him speaking no English and me with only a few phrases in Spanish. My name is "kara"- but pronounced "car-uh", which means "face" in Spanish. When I was trying to ask him what his name was, I kept pointing to myself and saying "car-uh" and then pointing at him- he thought he had food on his face! Anyway, four years later it's been really cool to see how our relationship (and language skills!) have progressed. At first we mostly just went dancing and could barely tell each other stories. Now we're raising our toddler together- bilingual- and can get into yelling fights without grammatical errors.
I agree that love can grow across language barriers and it makes the journey a little sweeter.
I feel like I should go do something ugly now to even out the cuteness... I'm happy for you!
Clearly evident that this type of thing makes people happy!