Ever since I met him in April, this guy, let's call him D, began to call me non-stop. I met him outside of school where he gave me one of his cd's (he's a musician) that also had his number on it. I texted him the next day saying that I liked it and that's when he just started calling me. He would call me and just ramble on so much that at times when I saw him calling I would just ignore it. It made me wonder, "Who is this guy and why is he calling me so much?"
Soon I started inviting him to places to hang out with my friends and then he began to do the same. He kissed me on the cheek twice in public which really made me wonder about him, if it was a "more than friends" action or just friends. One night I took him to a concert and as I dropped him off, he kissed me on the cheek goodnight. I had a GREAT time with him that night but I hadn't heard from him since then and decided to try to forget him... until last Friday. He texted me "Where are you at?" and then he called. He started going on about how he misses me and wants to see me soon.
I know this guy doesn't have a job right now and is living at his aunt's house. He's 22 and still hasn't finished community college in his hometown and is going to move back there for the fall semester anyway. It was just strange how he texted and called me out of the blue one night when he hadn't called me in weeks (compared to when he would call every other day and talk for a while). I wasn't sure what to make of it but when I explained it to my friend she said one of two things: either he's messing with my head or I'm his fall-back-girl. Either way, I should ignore him, she advised.
I'm so tempted to reach out to him again, yet at the same time, I know she's right. Why do guys do this? You have a amazing night with them, then they forget about you, call you out of nowhere and say they miss you? Its just strange. I live in the same neighborhood as this guy. If he really wanted to see me I think he would have taken initiative by now.
It just blows my self-esteem a little. What do ya'll think?
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Comments (19)
i say ask him wtf he wants from you.
@ShirleyD@xanga he gonna answer that he doesnt know himself. it was (or still is i am not sure) with my ex (at the moment -.-*)
What about you? What's your level of interest in him? Figure that out, then proceed from there.
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I was in a similar scenario, getting mixed signals like that from a guy. I fell hard for him, but when I brought up actually having a relationship he got all weird (despite the fact we had made out, and talked several times a day, and basically acted like we were dating). I think he just calls you when he's lonely or something; if he wanted more he would've made a more definitive move by now. I say stay away. You'll just end up feeling screwed with in the end.
yes. you are obviously being used. i cant say to what extent but overall, he must not be that crazy about you if he can't pick up the damn phone. just cut him off and don't dwell on it he is obviously a loser.
run away. run far away. I did this and if you think it's jacking with your self esteem now, just wait. it gets worse. it doesn't get better. leave him to his indecision and keep your dignity intact. you deserve much better and if you mess around with a mess, you'll never find anything better.
I had a friend who was like that. I'd say he isn't worth it. If he's anything like my friend was, he's not really interested but he has no one else at the moment and you're the next best thing. Don't waste your time with people like him. It isn't worth it and in the end the only thing you get out of it is the feeling of having been screwed over.
if you're remotely interested in him as more than a friend or occasional date buddy, then cut things off now. it's definitely more of a "fall back girl" situation. he has his life, he's bored, he thinks of you, gives you a call to see whats up. i'm sure he enjoys hanging out with you, but he isn't acting the way he should if he's interested in a relationship. (that being said, i'm not sure he sounds like someone you should WANT to be in a relationship with anyway...!)
If you have to ask yourself that question...then you already know the answer.
If you allow it, men will treat you like a revolving door and what I mean by revolving door is they will disappear, no reason no explanation, and pop back with no reason or explanation to their disappearance, because you've made it okay for him to do so. He is literally keeping you on pause because by disappearing he isn't technically hurting your feelings by saying how they really feel about you, ie "you're just the chick on the side".He is keeping his option to you open if he has nothing else to do.
Listen to your friend and walk away, I understand wanting attention but he's giving you crumps when you deserve a meal. There's no reason to call him to ask for an explanation when you already know the answer. Move on to someone who will make you their first priority.
I think he called you everyday in the beginning because he was flattered that you liked his music, so he hung out with you. maybe he met another girl and did the same thing to pick up girls; gave her his cd and she liked his music, so he hung out with her instead, hence he didn't call/text you as often, because he was busy with his new music fan. when he got bored of her or she was too busy to hang out, then he scrolls his phone list of females that he flirted with to call one by one until there is one that is available to go on a date with to keep him company. this seems like the stereotypical musician player, but I've talked to a musician or two before and they did the missing in action thing and then appeared at their convenience to talk, but what they really wanted was to convince me to be their bootycall, which I declined, because they think that I'm one of those groupies that will throw myself at them, but no I won't-besides these musicians flirted with me first, so they were chasing me and I had the upper hand
so yep, I think you're one of his many fall-back-girls.
any guy who makes you go on an emotional roller coaster like that is not worth your time.
you should trust your instincts, if you think you're rebound.. you probably are.
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I've dealt with a similar situation. Eventually you will get sick of his antics and that will leave him in a weird spot. And you guys will continue with a power struggle 'til it all fizzles down. That is, if you continue talking to him.
sadly I am a true example of this!!! hit the delete button on him please, I did that crap with this guy for 3 months (I was dumb). then I started to open my eyes and realize something aint right! especially the last time he called out the blue talking about how he missed talking to me...whatever. Trust me to save your feelings and dignity let it go!!
he's prob bored and had nothing else to do..why else wouldn't he talk to you for WEEKS.
"You have a amazing night with them, then they forget about you, call you out of nowhere and say they miss you?" Sadly, that's what a lot of guys do. While us girls want more of a good feeling, they've been 'filled up' from the positive experience and they need to start running low before they want to see you again.
It really depends on how you feel about him, but you could always just continue to meet up casually? Just don't expect too much.
Did you ever contact him or was it always him contacting you? Maybe he did like you but he didn't know if you liked him because you never told him or contacted him. A friendship/relationship is a two way street maybe he just got tired of being the only one to call. Maybe he wasn't sure on your feelings & felt stupid? Why do men have to always be "assholes" in girls eyes I don't get it. Maybe you are the problem. Either way why don't you talk to HIM about it instead of asking people online who have NO clue how he's feeling or what he is thinking? Goodluck & I hope you get your answer.