Monday, 09 May 2011
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Can You Fall in Love Online?
I don't think so. Point blank.I think that it is possible to meet someone online, like what they have to offer, meet up, and then fall in love. But, no, just no! You can't fall in love with someone without actually meeting them. Yes, technology is amazing. There is email, skype, and all kinds of things to keep a connection with an online partner. But it is not enough without physical interaction, and I am not talking about sex, or at least not JUST sex.
Just think about all of the studies linking pheromones to love. Maybe I will change my mind when scientists learn how to send scents through the computer.
I was taking public transportation to school last week and I started a conversation with the girl next to me. She mentioned that her boyfriend was in Iraq and that they were getting married when he returned. I asked her how they met and she said online. At the end of our conversation, she mentioned to me that she was nervous about his return, and she was scared that he wasn't going to like her.
I told her it was natural since they had been apart for so long. She corrected me and told me that they never actually met in person. He was from Minnesota and she was from Texas. They discovered each other online 6 months before he deployed. They will meet in one month, for the first time at the end of his 12 month deployment.
I think she is crazy. I myself am fond of military guys so I don't blame her. BUT really? Plans to be married and you've never met? Apparently, there are people all over the world that are in love, with people they haven't actually met. I think MAYBE it is possible to LOVE an online buddy, but be IN LOVE through the net?
What are your opinions? It is possible to be in love online?
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About the Author
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- From: kALIAS1334@xanga
- Name: kALIAS1334
- Location: Dallas, Texas, United States
- About Me: Student and a waitress. Putting my thoughts out there in the online world, mostly as a stress reliever, but comments and opinions are always appreciated. :)
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Comments (122)
Lol at that girl...dear god...I like a guy who is in the army, but he lives in my town and I've known him for two years haha. Obviously some people think it's possible; it seems to happen on Xanga all the time. Honestly, I'm not sure...it's really questionable to me but hey, who am I to judge someone's happiness.
I'm pretty sure I fell in love with someone online. It's really hard for me to say when exactly I fell in love with him, whether it was before or after we actually met. Can't say I really care though. I fell. When isn't all that important.
It's very possible. In fact, it has happened to me.
"Just think about all of the studies linking pheromones to love. Maybe I
will change my mind when scientists learn how to send scents through the
computer."
As far as I know, the studies say pheromones are a big factor, but not the only factor. Please share with us the studies to which you are referring.
"But, no, just no! You can't fall in love with someone without actually meeting them."
Bullshit.
"What are your opinions? It is possible to be in love online?"
Absolutely. One of the nice things about the human capacity to love is that it's an incredibly adaptable thing. If it weren't, a good portion of us wouldn't be here today. Heck, probably ALL of us wouldn't be here today.
that girl is insane.
you are right...however, you can fall in love but you fall in love with the idea in your head not that person.
the picture you form.
That's why the longer you wait, the less likely you will connect when you meet.
Physical attraction/interaction isn't love. So yes, I think you can fall in love online.
if the person romanticizes the situation, then falling in love online would more likely be possible. if the person is an idealist/realist, then most likely not. if you believe it, then it can happen. although I wouldn't go as far as marrying someone that I haven't met, but liking the person is often what happens in my experiences than love. if the person is obsessed with long distance romance movies, where he/she wishes that they could have a similar love story, then it might be that the person is in love with the scenario/concept of love, but since people interpret love differently and have varying experiences/feelings, then I can't say that what they feel is or isn't true love.
anything is possible.
I feel it needs to be made clear that there is a difference between falling in love online and meeting and just falling in love online with no meeting or when you meet you go get married (which I know a girl who has done that).
My partner and I have been together for over 2 years years. We met online and fell in love online. We physically met about 2 years after knowing each other online and we started dating that day.
Overall I feel when it comes to online love it depends who you are. We can't judge other people's relationships either. What works for me wont work for you and that's why you don't do it and I do lol.
I think it is possible to have a strong attraction or emotion for someone online. Depends on how alone a person is or how strong their imagination. It's like a survival thing, something we need to fill a void.
@kaybaby666@xanga - I agree. Everyone is different. Some people don't even believe in long distance and going through the motions to keep a good connection alive. Sure there are shallow things about online dating/love/whatever, but just as there are shallow relations in everyday life. Everyone has a right to their own opinion and has their own experiences. It all depends.
I mean it's not like she could have instantaneously thought, he's the one! I'm marrying him right when she initially started talking to him. Like all friendships/relationships we grow attached to the person because of their personality. It sounds skeptical, but it happens more than we know. I mean how is it that in this modern day world we develop pen pal/online friends just as great as real life friends?
I think it's possible, and I'm not all that crazy.
It most definitely is possible.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - I said that studies LINK pheromones to love. I did not say that it was the only factor.
@kALIAS1334@xanga - Yeah, that's a given. But when you say this:
"Just think about all of the studies linking pheromones to love. Maybe I
will change my mind when scientists learn how to send scents through the
computer."
In light of this:
"You can't fall in love with someone without actually meeting them."
That leads a reasonable person to conclude that you will only change your mind about the statement in bold, when scientists learn how to send scents (i.e. pheromones) through the computer. So if it's not the only factor, then you believe it's a critical factor, or that it's necessary for "love" to form. Correct?
If so, I'm sure you can demonstrate how "love" must require the presence of pheromones to exist.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - I am so sorry that you misunderstood me!
@kALIAS1334@xanga - It's all good. No worries.
I think its possible. I met someone online. We really liked each other, but now things are getting complicated and I don't know how its going to turn out because we live 8000 miles apart.
What if they meet, and then realize it was all fake....? I think they are jumping to marriage too quickly...
A side note: I think that it is possible to FIND love online. Just not fall in love.
When I was 17 and didn't really know what love was, I fell in love with a guy online. Except he turned out to be a real jerk and I was just in love with the guy I wanted him to be. It's too easy for people to misrepresent themselves to guarantee that you're falling for the real person.
Of course, it's entirely possible for people to meet online and then fall in love when they meet. I met my husband online...but I fell in love with him when we met.
-Katie
haha, that girl is sure going to be in shock when she meets him in person. So will he. People are INFINITELY different in person than they might be in skype, email, or on the phone. So either their relationship will be a wonderful success and or devastating failure. I dont think there will be a middle road due to their dating long-distance so long.
I do get what you're saying. It's kinda like being in love vs. staying in love. Online love is like being in love and meeting and actually pursuing someone in life, in person, is staying in love. Staying in love of course would be much more valid, but never underestimate love. I guess it all depends on peoples' perspectives and how they define love too.
Me and my husband actually met here on Xanga. We just happen to be 2 strangers who enjoyed each others company and personalities, met a month or two later, dated for 6 months and married. This summer will be our 5 year anniversary and we have 3 beautiful children. Despite life's difficulties at times, our love is still as strong, beautiful, and innocent as when we first me ONLINE. So yes, I do think anything is possible.
Like someone else said, everything is possible. The logistics of falling in love are not as clear-cut and logical as you apparently believe them to be.
I think that the only people who are saying that you can fall in love online are the people are deluded into thinking that they HAVE fallen in love online. I thought I did once too, and although I still think the guy is totally adorable and that I could have relationship with him outside of the internet, I'm not going to say that I was IN LOVE with him. We may have said "I love you" to each other, but he started dating a girl in his hometown a few months into our online relationship and after we stopped talking I totally forgot about him. Obviously we were not in love.
You can love a person's personality, their looks, their charm, their charisma, their jokes, and virtually everything about them - but if you never meet them in person, you don't know them. Point blank. YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW THAT PERSON REALLY ACTS. The internet is an entirely different story. Most people are better at writing than they are at speaking. Some people are better at speaking than writing. Some people can write meaningful poems and lyrics and turn out to be a total douchebag. Some people act differently according to their environment. Some people change their entire persona around their friends. You never know these things UNTIL YOU MEET THEM. The girl in your post, the one who has never met her fiance, is either going to be extremely lucky or extremely heartbroken. Sure, they may end up together forever, but in all likelihood they won't like something about the other person in real life. And that will ruin their relationship.
You're competely right when you say it's possible to find love online, but if you never meet them, you just won't know the reality of your relationship. You won't know the extent of their actions and quirks.