With my date (we'll call him 'Brad'), nothing was serious. Just going as friends. But after spending a few nice days with Brad, we became closer, and I liked him a lot! We cuddled watching movies, and I eventually mustered up the guts to kiss the guy. But as prom was approaching, things turned sour.
I told him the color of my dress, sangria. But it didn't matter to me if he wanted to match or not, I just told him so he'd know. And even if he did happen to choose not to, it would be alright because we were not super serious. He was being so indifferent and passive about everything! I just wanted him to show a tiny bit of interest in it. And while I understand he wanted me to be happy, I did in fact tell him that his passivity was beginning to bother me. I let that go.
Then, (last night, to be precise) I asked Brad if he wanted to do the boutonnierre and corsage thing. He had me explain what it was, which I had done (several times!) and I was beginning to become annoyed. I told him that I wanted him to be excited to go with me as I was to go with him to have fun, and that it was putting pressure on me to make all these decisions without any of his input.
He said something like: "Being with you was always more important than going to prom." Which was confusing, since we weren't close until VERY recently. When I told him straight up that I do like him now (a lot), and I didn't when we weren't really hanging out, he flipped out.
Brad told me I was bossing him around with "Do this's and do that's," even though he was being passive and all I told him was the dress color. He continued his 3-text-long rant declaring how I don't like him anymore, and I don't care. He ended the text with "You're an awful person." I felt a pit in my stomach. This all stemmed from asking if he would like me to pin a stupid flower on his lapel. I called him up and told him that I wouldn't go to prom with someone that would talk to me that way.
I still like him. Prom is next Friday (the 13th, great.) And I keep telling myself I'm going to fly solo and have a blast with my girlfriends. But I'm doubting my ability to have fun when I'm still so upset and angry!
What do I do?
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Comments (63)
prom is what you make it. i didn't have a date for junior or senior prom and i ripped myself apart, telling myself i was worthless and horrible since everyone else had a date. and i pouted and didn't enjoy prom as much as i should have (or i just shouldn't have gone at all). if you go and then act all pissy, yeah, it won't be fun. you could have just as much fun watching scary movies with friends at home and eating pizza.
as for the guy, you can try talking to him again, but it sounds like he had some issues he needed to work out. perhaps give him a few days and then see what's up. but don't make any final decisions about anything until you know what's going on.
better to go with your friends then worry about some dick. I didn't go to prom, but I remember my date to homecoming pulled the same shit. he asked me to go with him, but then kept pulling all this passive shit and then eventually said, "blah blah I rather take you on a date then to a dance it's not really my scene." which was true. in retrospect I shouldn't have made him go with me because it wasn't his scene and he tried to have fun with me but I know he really didn't. I think your guy probably just didn't understand how important it was to you (like most guys). He probably just wanted to be with you, like he said, rather than do the whole prom thing which is stressful and probably makes him feel pretty non manly.
^_^ I didn't go with anyone. Just dressed up and paraded myself around in such a way that I made all of the guys WISH they had asked me. Oh, to be young again.
He sounds unworthy of going to prom with you.
Sounds like a douche. Go with your friends and enjoy it.
I never went to prom.. But then again, I just moved to a huge school my last year of highschool and didnt know anyone... The ones I knew were younger, so I just didnt go... I dont regret it or anything.. But you have friends! Go and have fun :D
My boyfriend ditched me two weeks before my senior prom. He was one year older than me, so he was in his first year of college. He said he'd go, he actually made the effort to ask what color my dress was, so that he could get a matching vest or something, and then exactly two weeks before prom said that he "just didn't feel like going to prom." The very next day, I asked one of my guy friends to be my date to prom. We went as friends, but exchanged corsages/boutonnieres, did the pictures, and chipped in money for a limo with our other friends. It really pissed my boyfriend off that I had the nerve to go to prom with a guy that wasn't him. I still enjoyed my prom immensely.
You don't have to go "solo." You can go with your girlfriends - arrive together. If you want your prom to be fun, make it fun. It's well within your power to do that. Personally, I wouldn't bother with that guy. Go to prom looking absolutely gorgeous and, if he's there too, make him drool and regret that he was such a prick. But really, above all, let yourself have fun.
I didn't go to prom my senior year, but that is only b/c I was new and I didn't really like anyone at my new school. Go with your friends and have a good time.
Your story sounds like it's lacking some details. Also, keep in mind that 'Brad' isn't here to defend himself, so it's hard to answer your questions of, "What do I do?"
It sounds like you did a LOT more than just give him a prom-fashion critique if he texted you with "You're an awful person."
Honestly, the best advice -- from the information provided -- is to be diplomatic and talk things over to resolve whatever argument. You still want him to be your date to the prom, yes?
My biggest regret about prom is not going stag. I wish I had gone alone with just my friends. I asked my best guy friend to go with me because my boyfriend had completely disappeared after promising to take me to prom. So, my best friend saved me, but I wish I hadn't gone with him. I had way more fun just hanging out with friends.
i had a date and it wasnt that fun. so maybe its a good thing you're not gonna have a date, you dont have to worry about having to spend a lot of time with the other person most of the night
@xXDC_luyouXx - yeah i was thinking that too a bit...
Still I have 3 older brothers and two of them who really liked the girls started acting like jerks and became apprehensive as the date grew closer because they didn't have the cash to spend and they were way to embarrassed to say anything to the girl...
I went with a guy, who liked me more than I liked him, and it was great, because he was anxious and worried about my impression of him. I felt like a princess
he asked me what color my dress was going to be and ordered the corsages. he also booked an appointment at this photography place to take "couple" pics even though I went with him as friends, but he saw me as more than friends. he had a crush on me for a while though and we talked a lot before prom, but I made the first move and asked him to prom to make his day. his expression was priceless and it made me happy to know that I was making him happy
he offered to help me hold my mini purse when we were at prom, and I told him that it was okay and I could hold it myself, but he insisted, then he was happily holding my mini purse with a silly smirk on his face because he was proud that he went to prom with me, and it was so adorable like he was a kid at the candy store
he did something to piss me off while we were at prom though, but I don't want to get into details. I was mad at him for like a half hour
lol we were alright later and I forgot all about it when we were dancing. he offered me his jacket, which I declined, but he insisted, so I was polite and accepted, so I was walking around with his giant jacket around me, which looked like a dress, because I'm short and petite. after dinner, he took out his disposable camera and asked someone to take pics of us. I felt like a celebrity
and he was my fan lol he was standing very close to me during the slow dance and it felt like we were dry humping
he wasn't crude about it or made it obvious though, but his moves were smooth and his voice was deep like those nba players, so when he whispered in my ear, I was melting
anyway, enough reminiscing. some of my friends went with a date, because tickets were cheaper for couples, but as soon as they got to prom, they ditched the guys and joined their female friends, while the guys were left with the other guys, which I think is sad that they used these guys, and didn't really pay attention to them until the last dance, so they were alone during prom to chat with guys:D maybe your guy friend felt used that you just wanted him to go to prom with you so that you wouldn't go alone, so he flipped out when he thought that you don't really like him if not for prom
I would say sit down and talk to him. Don't just go in there saying this is how a feel and if you feel differently you're wrong... Really approach him with an open mind. If he is feeling passive about it try to find out why. Ask him if he is worried you're expecting to much from him. Ask him if he is worried about the cost of everything?
If he's all pissy about you making decisions due to his disinterest, you'd be miserable going to the dance with him because he would more than likely be in a shitty mood.
Fuck 'em. Go stag. I was in a similar situation and ended up going by myself and had the time of my life.
Oh, teenage drama. Sounds like both of you are at fault - you for trying to force him to care about something he obviously doesn't care about, and him for expecting you to like him even before you guys started hanging out (though you probably should've kept that to yourself).
If you really want to go Prom with this guy, go over and talk to him face to face, resolve your issues, and go have fun. He obviously likes you and wants a relationship, but you don't seem to be on the same page in terms of level of commitment expected from each party - be careful about that. These things can easily turn sour (and they already have, apparently).
wow, you sound like a typical whiny female.
Sorry if that sounded harsh, but I think you definitely were bossy ... Guys don't care much about the fluff and fancy stuff, telling him your dress color is probably the silliest thing you can do. Heck, I'm a girl whose second love is fashion, but I would never ever put my boyfriend through the misery of going shopping with me or making him wear flowers on his wrists.
That being said, I do understand what you're going through. You just want to make the night magical and idealistic as possible, and who can blame you? it is prom. However, he just wants to be with you as a person and won't care what color your dress is, how many inches are your shoes, how you do your hair etc.
Just talk to him again and explain to him that it is important for you to have the magical prom moment, and compromise a little. Don't get overly obsessive with the girly details, just enjoy being with him and have fun, and try to make him see that little things like your dress color matters to you. If he likes you, he will compromise. If not, just have fun with your gal friends! you might just find the guy of your dream on the dance floor (;
@wing_stock@xanga - the male pins the flower on his blazer's pocket, not worn around his wrists.
some guys just dont want to go to prom? maybe hes not excited about it o-o.
@panda - okay, my mistake haha. hopefully she gets my two cents though.
as some people have pointed out before, it's difficult to know all the details with only one person's side of the story, but i will say this:
3 months from now, NOBODY is going to give a shit about who you went (or didn't go) to prom with.
@xXDC_luyouXx - You're right but it's hardly possible to put everything down. I'm sure there is more to the story..but we can only go on what we have here.
OP:I didn't go. Prom is very overrated and if you don't go..you won't regret it. I didn't. High school mostly was hell for me. I'm glad it's over. But just go with friends ;) Who cares about dates!
People are being too harsh towards you. It honestly sounds like he was upset that you admitted to have not liked him before you guys hung out more. Maybe he has had a crush on you for a while? Either way, there is NO excuse for him to say those kinds of things to you. He sounds exactly like my ex that I started dating in high-school and continued dating for two years into college. My advice? RUN AWAAAYYYYY from him and just go stag. If he can act like this now, he will only get worst as he gets more comfortable with you.
i have actually not heard of many people that liked prom. my then-boyfriend told a different girl i the limo that he wished he had taken her instead, when i was sitting right next to him. but was ANAL about everything. i HAD to wear the colors he wanted and just dumb stuff. but we are broken up now and prom was pretty bad except when i was just with his friends who had become my friends. that was fun, but the night as a whole was terrible! just find a boy for pictures hahahha
high school dramaaaaa.