I am 22-years-old and lost my virginity about four months ago. Maybe I have a distorted perception since I know several people who got pregnant during high school, but I feel like I lost my virginity at a later age than most people. There isn't a particular reason why I hadn't lost my virginity until four months ago. I wasn't saving it for my future husband--I've never really seen myself as getting married anyway. It's not something that I considered as sacred. I just never had a boyfriend before.
In contrast to either losing your virginity at a younger age or losing your virginity to the person you got married to because you chose to wait, I feel like losing your virginity at an older age is different when you weren't saving it for someone special in the first place. I could be very wrong, but when you lose your virginity at a younger age, you also seem to accept earlier that the person you lost your virginity to most likely won't always be in your life. You're young, with new people bound to enter into your life, with others bound to exit. Perhaps your virginity wasn't something you considered to be all that important anyway. Maybe you were just curious. Either way, you move on.
At the other end of the spectrum, most of the females I know who I haven't lost their virginity at my age are waiting until they get married, so they believe that they'll always be with the one that they lost their virginity to. It's just how they've planned things to be. They also don't have to deal with awkward situation of running into the person they lost their virginity to, but are no longer with.
I'm not really sure where I'm trying to go with this, but I lost my virginity at an age older than most of the females I know, but it's not because I was deliberately trying to save it. It's just because I had never been in a relationship before. Now I'm no longer a virgin, but the guy I lost my virginity to is no longer a part of my life. We still run into each other a few times a week because we live in the same apartment building, but we never acknowledge each other; it's as if we've never met. It's such a strange feeling and I can't seem to get over the fact that I lost my virginity to a guy I still see weekly, but don't even talk to anymore.
I didn't really expect to him be a huge part of my life, but I didn't really expect him to be completely cut out like this either. I see myself as being in the middle of this spectrum: the people who didn't really care about their virginity and lost it early, and the people who value their virginity and lose it later after marriage.
Does anyone else see where I'm going with this? If not, then my second (and much simpler question) is what your relationship is like with the person you lost your virginity with. Do you guys still communicate? Or are there no ties whatsoever?
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I lost my virginity to my now-husband when I was eighteen. I was like you, not planning to get married so I wasn't saving myself for that, I was just saving myself for love I guess. I've had many boyfriends before him, but I didn't love them. After a couple weeks or a month, they'd annoy me and I'd break up with them. But this guy was different. I don't know, maybe it was just infatuation at the time (since I lost my virginity to him after just two weeks of us dating..but we did start saying "I love you" after three days of dating), or maybe it was because my sister kept mocking me and saying "I can't believe you're still a virgin, just do it already," I don't know what motivated me to go through with it the first time, but we're married now so I guess it was the right decision to give it up to him haha :)
I lost my virginity to my bf ;) I'm still with him!
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I lost my virginity to my first gf and we aren't together. I still talk to her because we are still best friends where we know each other inside out, but just didn't work out in terms of a relationship other than best-friends.
I was 18 when I lost my virginity, and it was to guy that I was in love with who later on proposed to me. We never got married and we ended up breaking up a few years later. We never talk and pretty much hate each other now. At the time though, I did think he was going to be my one and only and it was something special.
I lost mine to my first serious girlfriend (as for her too). We were together for over 3 years and it happened a little bit after the one year mark. We still talk a lot and are close. Back then, she was the person I wanted to be with in the end.
I lost my virginity around two weeks before my 20th birthday. I had just finished my sophomore year in college. I was fresh in a relationship with a guy who I tried to take it slow with but things moved way fast, anyway. We were in love even before we started dating "officially" and I lost my virginity to him after only having known him for a little over a month (not dating...like I met him just a bit over a month before). I definitely wouldn't recommend anyone take the road I did. It ended up working out because we eventually got married and I couldn't be happier. But again, when I think back on how fast it all happened I sometimes wish I would have waited for sex a bit longer. We should have waited until we grew together a bit more and were a little more trusting and comfortable with one another.
I lost my virginity at 17 and am still with him (one year and about 5 months later, haha). I valued it a lot and decided I wasn't going to give it away until I was sure I was in love. Once my boyfriend told me (a long time ago) "it seems like you don't ever plan on breaking up; like you expect us to be together forever" (this was actually a few weeks before i lost it). And I realized on some embarrassing level that it was true. A few months later, though, and he was on the same page; that we never wanted to break up.
And now, well, I think he's going to be deported, so we will have to cut each other out of our lives, and it will be super super hard. But I don't regret it at all because it was a beautiful memory and an amazing experience, even if it does bring me pain later.
I cannot imagine stopping talking completely to the guy I lost my virginity to, or any guy I ever have sex with. I suppose it clashes with my ideas about sex; if someone is important enough to me to get in bed with him, then he's going to be important enough to me to keep in my life months afterwards.
But to each his own, I suppose.
I lost mine when I was 19. I don't regret it one bit. We truly loved eachother, and were together for two years after that. Even though it didn't work out, and he lives on the other side of the country now, we still talk from time to time. I think we will always have a special place in each other's hearts even if we are never together again, and that makes me happy.
I don't think it matters if you wait 'til marriage or if you stay with the person or anything. Just as long as it's someone you actually love.
I was (and still am) 21, and I'm still seeing the guy but I don't expect him to be in my life forever. If we don't work out, I know I'd love to still be friends with him. *shrugs*
Still got mine at 27, never been in a relationship, had a girlfriend.
I lost mine to a friend when I was 19, but she's changed a lot since back then. We still talk, but we're detached for the most part.
I lost mine in December while I was 18. Losing mine was a huge mistake. The guy cheated on me and I really have some emotional issues with it. I wish I would have waited because I'm in a relationship with an amazing guy and I'm somewhat afraid to have a sexual relationship with him.
I was a millennium virgin, and lost it to a blonde cop. oh we don't talk anymore, and i do not mind. she gave me what i wanted, and she didn't want to talk to me anymore, so i was happy.
didn't lose mine, although i didn't care much about virginity or the loss of it. the guy i had respected me and i just let it flow to whatever made him comfortable. for some reason, i ended up thinking that the virginity aspect mattered more to him than it did to me.
in any case, i'm sort of happy it didn't happen. but to be blunt, making out without fully completing sex sucks. it gets boring fast. it's either sex or nomakingoutperiod for whatever duration of time we decide on.
mm i still talk to all my buds though. :] friendship holds up on its own ykno?
The whole "virginity" thing is just a hyped up word. It shouldn't hurt MORE because he's not in your life and "de-virginwhatevered" you. It should hurt because he's not in your life after ANY relations (whether they be non-physical or not.)
Yeah. He sucks. But, you've got to stop reading blogs and girly books so you can see that your decision to screw them shouldn't affect you later in life.I don't know if I'm getting my point across. Sorry.
I was 19 when I shared my virginity with my current boyfriend. For a long time I valued my virginity, but around the time I was 18 I started to get some mixed feelings about it. I thought about just getting it over with, and almost went through with it a few times. I thought about giving it to an old friends with benifits of mine, or the guy that I was dating but treated me badly. I'm so glad that I didn't though. Honestly, the day that I lost my virginity to my boyfriend was one of the greatest decisions I ever made, and I feel like I'd feel the same way even if we'd ever break up. He was so sweet, and caring, and we were both in love. I really lucked out.
I lost my virginity when I was 18 to my most recent ex-boyfriend. We still do keep in touch since it's been nearly 6 years since we broke up.
Lost mine about a year ago when i was 18. plan on getting engaged soon :) i couldn't ever imagine being with anyone else and even if for some crazy reason we weren't together anymore, I wouldn't regret it because it was love <3
23 and stil have mine....so what....virginity is not valued anymore. Why talk about. if it happens it happens.
I was pretty young when I gave up my virginity, I was 15 years old. I was dating the guy for 2 months before hand and I believed we were in Love. Afterward I cried in the bathroom for an hour. We dated for a year and a half afterward. We had fun together, it wasn't just sex for me. I believed I loved him and he loved me at the time and that's what mattered to me.
I was very young and had a lot of things going on at my home that I wanted to escape from, so I just figured me and him would eventually be together and leave. Obviously that was silly of me, lol. I wasn't mature enough at the time to handle the decision I had made.
The relationship ended on bad terms. He was cheating for a few months with one of my close friends all the while I had no idea. I broke up with him and tried my best to stay away from the both of them. He became a tad obsessed with me after the break up and it was a little scary. Two years after our break up I met my new b/f then, Husband now.
I am now 22, married and a mother. Things are better that the guy I lost my virginity to is not in my life, He became a tad off center. He almost never crosses my mind unless the subject of him is brought up by some one else. Although I did not lose my Virginity to my husband it still felt just as special when me and him made love. There was a lot more passion and it seemed that we connected in a way no one could connect with anyone, unless it was that certain one for them. lol Still sounds a little silly but it's a mutual feeling.
My husband did how ever give his virginity to me.
Yes we were still young when he decided to. We were 17 and he said it was something emotional for him even though most guys I knew tried to act like it didn't matter he said it did very much to him. He was kinda nervous. He also says often that he's happy he waited till he met me and didn't jump on the first chances he had with other girls.
I don't think sex has to mean anything at all for every one but when it does mean something it feels so much better for me. I think maybe that's why so many people wait or save it for marriage or at least till they are in love.
~Alex
I lost it earlier than I thought I would, but not too young. I initially wanted to wait to marriage and then we broke up (i broke up with him for reasons). we got back together a year later and then a year after that we got married - but for some time I did regret loosing it, but if it had to be with anyone - I am glad it was with him. =)
I don't think it matters whether or not they stay in your life afterwards, it's whether or not they were a big part of your life during the time you lost it. For instance, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend (who lost his to me) and we're both older college students. We're still together...but even if we break up later and never talk again, there are no regrets because I'd know that we did love each other and were a big part of each others' lives and had amazing memories together. That's what matters. And that's why I saved my virginity for someone I LOVE, not someone who I think I'll marry one day (though hopefully, I will...then again, the future is always uncertain so who knows?).