Thursday, 05 May 2011
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Curse of the Crazies
There I was walking back into the room I had just left, fresh from a quick bathroom break. The same people were still sitting around the same table, still talking about the same nonsense; it was almost the same scene, with one exception. The girl I had been sitting next to, the very girl that the guy I was currently talking to had recently ended things with, had my blackberry in her hand. MY phone. MY property. In HER possession?! Excuuuuse me, I don’t think so.She promptly handed it back to me insisting that it just would not stop ringing. Fighting my inner Bad Girls Club character, I immediately go straight to my bbm only to find that my conversation with said boytoy had been scrolled to the top. I was mystified. How on EARTH could someone be capable of such a thing? Who does that?
I’ll tell you who. Crazy exes. Lately my life seems to be plagued by these creatures. They lurk in dark corners seemingly tamed and domesticated. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, they leap from their perches, claws exposed, teeth bared ready to rip the skin off your face. Graphic, I know but such is the reality of these vicious girls. Now, I’ll be the first to admit: there are tons of mature, easy going ex-girlfriends who mean no harm, but let’s face it, we all have that ONE.
I have 4 and counting (2 from the same guy). How are we supposed to deal with this issue? First and foremost I’d just like to put a little PSA out there if you will: Girls, there is no such thing as “stealing a man.” He is not a pair of Gucci sunglasses or MAC lipgloss; you cannot take him. Men go willingly. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and consequently that everything ends for a reason. If you honestly, truly cared about someone shouldn’t you want them to be happy? It takes a lot of maturity to want them to be happy even if it’s not with you. It's a "growing up" thing.
The best (and probably only) advice I can give you is just let it roll off your back. Obviously the guy in question chose you for a reason. Men are pretty simple. They know what they want and they go for it. It’s an A (you) +B (absence of her) =C (new relationship bliss) equation. I will tell you that if you let the ‘ex’ get to you, it’s only going to cause a huge detriment to your relationship, especially if you start to compare yourself to her. Apples to oranges.
IF you happen to be the feared and intimidating ex, try to play nice. If you’re going to be angry at anyone, let it be him. After all he’s the one directly involved in your heart ache (it’s always the guy). If the situation with the new girl bothers you that much, be the bigger person and have a sit down conversation with her. I’ve been having little chit-chats left and right these past two weeks with girls reaching out to me over their past romances. It sounds like it would be awkward but trust me, so much air is cleared.
Do NOT express your anger on social networks such as Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, etc. Come on now. That’s just starting unnecessary trouble. Do NOT go around spreading lies and rumors about her. Put yourself in her shoes. We are all women united by the fact that we are all emotional and we’ve all had our significant other stomp on our heart at some point or another. Empathy is a universal feeling. We should all try to practice it a little more.
Am I alone on this curse or have you had your fair share of the crazy exes too?
What was your solution?
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- From: lexology@lovelyish
- Name: Alexis
- About Me: I'm a rising Senior at Cornell University. I'm an English major who LOVES to write. Spoken word is a big hobby and I love performing. My interests are as random as my personality and I love everything from what's on the runway to problems in third world countries. Like any other 21 year old, I love shopping, music, friends, bar hopping, fashion, magazines, poetry, coffee shops, cute boys, etc. Follow me on Twitter @Wild3_Thing
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Comments (13)
My boyfriend's exes always talked to him when we first started dating. It was really annoying. It's been like 4 years since we first started talking and 2 1/2 years since we've been in a relationship and they've all disappeared. They realized that they weren't going to get him back, I guess haha.
i applaud you for not punching her straight in the face.
id have punched her. hard.
Well, I still stay in contact with my exes, but they aren't crazy. When they see that I'm in a new relationship, they congratulate me. That's it. It's just with the recent ex that I am more worried about. She had a problem with me being friends with the exes before her even though we lived in different states and talk about a few times a month. She had a hostile nature against them even though they never met.
my own exes looove to stalk me. i put them in their place though, if they cross any lines. so it stays pretty neutral mostly.
the boy's ex was bugging him when we first started dating... but she disappeared once she realized it was getting her nowhere. lol.
Oh, I've been the victim of this, but from the other perspective. As in, I was the ex, and the new girlfriend hated me because I stayed friends with her new boyfriend. *eyeroll*
I don't know. My ex's crazy ex was also the same girl he was cheating with.
Granted, she was freaking nuts, but he probably wasn't helping the situation.
Wow, good job on not going off on her. My boyfriend has a crazy ex - his most recent one - but she's still been out of his life for over a year. Over the past few months, she has called/emailed him, trying to apologize and "be friends", but with the way she treated him, she should be GONE forever. Luckily, he knows that. It still annoys me though. She left my boyfriend to be with one of his best friends, and they got engaged a few weeks later. When she called him recently, she told him she was single and that he should come back. Just a quick look at Facebook shows that not only is she NOT single, but she's getting married - tomorrow. Wha what?! How is she going to be married AND have her ex come back? Psycho.
I've wanted so badly to send her an email tell her to leave my boyfriend the fuck alone, but I decided to take the mature route and not give her any of my effort or time. My boyfriend is a smart man who isn't going to let it get to him, and that's the only thing I should care about.
Hah, I have a problem with an ex-boyfriend's wife. Well, she has a problem with me.
I don't ever talk to this guy because he's a giant loser... we broke up TEN years ago. Every now and then, she tracks me down on facebook (or myspace, way back when) and sends me messages accusing me of trying to sleep with him and sending dirty emails.
Clearly, he's cheating on her, she found those messages, he told her it was me... what a winner. Yeah, I'm totally all over that, crazy girl.
I applaud you on your self-control. I would have punched her.
Good job for not knocking her out and having self-control. I would've punched her in the face and leave.
Ugh! I can't stand dealing with crazy exes! It's one thing if they are mature about this but the moment they turn out to be crazy, like stalking me, I just stop taking them seriously.
"It takes a lot of maturity to want them to be happy even if it’s not with you"......after releasing god knows how much pent-up anger lol. vengeance is bittersweet, but you realize that it makes things worse. but eventually, i think most of us mature at any rate.