Sunday, 01 May 2011
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Don't Pity Me - "I choose to be SINGLE"
Whenever I am asked that dreadful question "Do you have a boyfriend?" I usually say "No, not currently", but nowadays I say "I choose to be Single." During the earlier stage of my teenage life, I always wanted a boyfriend. Thinking back to that period, it was just because it was "cool' then to have a boyfriend, at such an age, especially among my peers.
When I reached the age of 17, after watching the constant, unending, tiring drama that came from having a boyfriend thanks to my friends' lives, I decided to wait it out.
I have been single for about 2 years, and I am happy; very happy actually. I think it's almost worrying how joyful and comfortable I have become, but not everyone seems to share my new found glee, and so... my question is: why is it so hard for people around me to accept that I am happy? Maybe I am just being egotistical by thinking that they are sometimes jealous of how calm and positive I continue to be, even though I am the single one in the group.
I feel as though people with partners think that they are better and look down on you for being single. I do plan on dating again hopefully but I am in no rush, I like where I am and my current status so please (people who have partners) don't pity me.
It's condescending, don't you agree?
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About the Author
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- From: adivinemess@xanga
- Name: adivinemess
- Location: Birmingham, United Kingdom
- About Me: I am a very worried person, I am chatty, not hyper. I like people who appreciate and enjoy the same things as me. I would like to travel and explore the many secrets of each country and culture. I love good food and I respect people who are honest, loyal and fun.
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Comments (47)
Yeah it kind of is. I wanted a boyfriend when I was younger because of the cool factor. Then I wanted one to fill a loneliness gap. I have one now and he's the only one I had, and I'm glad I waited....nothing wrong with being single if you're happy.
I wouldn't worry about it. While they are gonna end up getting heartbroken over and over again, you'll get the joy of not having to deal with that kind of stuff. Those who say "It's better to have love and lost than to not love at all" have obviously never had to deal with a terrible heartbreak.
I do hate people who say "my way is better." But you did not say that everyone should be single, so you're excluded from that group. :)
I'm currently single and I hate it, but only because I know who and what I want in life already. There's nothing at all wrong with being single.I can go forever without a boyfriend, but not without going out on dates. In fact, I would rather just date than to be in a relationship.
It's not always easy being single, but that's a great attitude to have!
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i had been in serious relationships from the age of 18 to 23. i have been single since and im now 25. i couldnt be happier. i am so relaxed and comfortable being free, the idea of having a boyfriend bugs me. like i wouldnt mind but i have grown so comfortable only worrying about me. i dont have to think about a guy and what he wants or consider his feelings. im simply happy single. people also ask me if i have a boyfriend and i say no and they get this look on their face wondering why the hell not, as if something is wrong with me.
nothing is wrong. im just damned happy being single. lol.I've dated a bunch of people for short amounts of time, but in general, I was usually single. I was perfectly content that way- I have hobbies and my own life, and I'm comfortable with myself. I think some people look for a partner to complete them, whereas my bf enhances my life. I'm happily in a relationship now, but I was loving my life even before we met, and I think that's how it should be. Enjoy!
PS- Ignore the haters and judgers, it doesn't matter what they think, and a lot of relationships don't work out, anyway. Keep doing what you're doing.
It's probably just the social stereotype that you have to be in a relationship with someone in order to be seen as normal. My aunt has been single all her life, and she enjoys it! She can spend her money as she sees fit and not have a husband to answer to or take into consideration. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be single. Maybe you'll decide you want to settle down with someone someday, or maybe you won't. You live life as you see fit, and don't worry about what everybody else has to say.
I don't think there's anything wrong with being single. I think being single shows that you can find comfort being with yourself and that you don't really need to be in a relationship to find that kind of comfort. I've never had a legit boyfriend before (since puppy love doesn't really count), but I HAVE gone on a lot of dates that obviously just did not become anything else after. I was always the single one in my group of friends also and a lot of the girls thought I was just trying to show off how "COOL" I was by being a "jerk" to guys, which I wasn't. Even the guys agree that I wasn't being a jerk towards them. I just didn't really need a guy because I felt like things wouldn't be any different for me. I usually just see a lot of them as friends anyway.
Just because you aren't dating, doesn't make you any less desirable as any of the other girls. I don't know why it's such a big deal that a person is single. If you're happy, that's all that really matters, right? People should really just mind their own business seriously. What does dating prove about a person anyway?
I'm the exact same way. I'm currently working on my undergrad degree and I don't plan on dating anyone until a few months (maybe even a couple of years) after I graduate. Even though relationships can be great, they just add a lot of unnecessary stress to my life. I don't mind casual dating, but I don't want anything serious for a while.
There's nothing wrong with it but I do enjoy company.
they can't fathom how someone can be independent and happy, because a part of their happiness is dependent on another person. different people find happiness in different ways. I personally think relationships are dispensible and unnecessary. if I have one, then it is an extra benefit. some people don't see what's the deal with shopping, but shopping is a must-have thing to me:D
I like beng single too, sometimes I do want a boyfriend, but I really don't want the responsiblity of having to call someone all the time or check in with them if I want to travel. I also don't want to have to worry about looking good enough to take his attention away from other females.
I tend to think people in relationships define their existence through the existence of someone else.
Good for you (and I don't mean that sarcastically). Relationships are overrated. It's better to stay single and just have a few good friends. :)
I don't know why everyone always demonizes relationships.
I'm not saying you are doing this, OP, but I feel like a lot of the people who are always bitching about relationships and always has to shove in your face, "I'M SINGLE AND PROUD AND LOVING IT" are the people who are secretly desperate to be in a relationship.
If you are single, and you are truly happy and confident in yourself, then that is great, and I applaud you, because you're absolutely correct. There is nothing wrong with being single. However, there's nothing wrong with being in a relationship either.
In my opinion, people who act that way are either the good guys or the bad guys, but nowhere in between. The people who are truly happy in their relationships that ask you why you are single must think you are really great and want the same happiness that they have, for you.
The OTHER PEOPLE... Are most likely miserable in their relationships and are overcompensating for their horrible relationship. It is a coping technique for them to deal with their horrible lives.Haha, if you can't tell... I am a single woman and I get asked all the time why I don't have a boyfriend... It is so annoying. I should just start telling people that I am too fat and ugly for a boyfriend just to see how they respond. I love being single, I am young and have seen tons a relationships end messily. No thanks. When the time is right and the guy is right, THEN I will get in to a relationship!
to each their own. i'm enjoying my single life though.
I used to get asked all the time why I am not in a relationship, or how my "love life" is from friends who know my situation already... it's pretty annoying but it's pretty much stopped since I just started telling people I am happy where I am & I have other things to worry about then to look for a man, or to find time to please one.
I have been single for a few years now & love it. I do sometimes miss being in a relationship, but don't people in relationships sometimes miss being single (yaddayadda something about grass is greener on the other side crap). I hook up with people still, but I like that I have no attachments to a single person. :)
@ShirleyD@xanga - samesies!
@clarinetcassie2011@xanga - yeah, if i could get free dinners by dating around, then i'd say the same thing too.
I also choose to be single, and it has done wonders for myself. It gives me time to do a lot of things I haven't had the chance to do, and besides, it's just fun to come and go as I please. =]
Single - by Natasha Bedingfield! The perfect song for this situation!
AMEN SISTER!!! no boyfriend no problem!!!!