Saturday, 30 April 2011
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The Black Men are Taken, Now What?
Interracial relationships are nothing new in the United States today due to multiculturalism. I’ve witnessed this a lot amongst the younger generation ages 16 to 25. To back up what I’ve seen, a Gallup Poll on interracial dating in June 2007 reported that 95% of 18- to 29-year-olds approve of blacks and whites dating. About 60% of that age group said they have dated someone of a different race. So from the ever popular Caucasians dating African-Americans to Koreans going steady with Japanese, there are hundreds of different integrated romantic affairs.I think interracial dating is great. If you’re attracted to a certain ethnicity more than your own then I do not see why you should suppress those feelings. Do whatever makes you happy.
My concern is a bit more specific. How come I see a great amount of interracial couples with a black male dating or married to a woman outside his own race compared to a black woman dating/marrying outside her own race? Studies show that African-American men had white wives 2.65 times more often than black women had white husbands. In other words, in 73% of black-white marriages, the husband was black. Five times as many black men live with white women as white men live with black women, married or dating. But it’s not like Caucasian men don’t date outside their race. Caucasian husbands/boyfriends were found in 62%of Asian/Caucasian marriages.
So what’s the problem? According to The Census Bureau, many black women complain that white women tend to marry black men more often than white men marry black women. Maybe most African-American women aren’t attracted to men outside their own race. Everybody's preference is different but are most Caucasian men even attracted to African-American women? What about Latino or Asian men?
Do you think this is a matter of stereotyping? Some say black women are loud, rude, hostile and dominant. I am certainly the very opposite and tend to be more submissive and dutiful as a girlfriend to any man. Some men say that most Asian women are presented as quiet, delicate and exotic which I know is not true. Every single human being on this planet has their own personality. No race should be stereotyped for a personality. That is not fair amongst those within the ethnicity.
I personally think a small percentage of White men date Black women because of their family’s views. Our parents are from a different generation where interracial dating was most likely rare and illegal by Federal or State law. For some, if your family doesn't approve then it's a bust. That's understandable but if you are a fully grown and responsible adult, then your family should not tell you what to do with your life anymore. The person you love is not dating or marrying your family, they are in a commitment with YOU.
So, do you approve of interracial dating? Would you agree to the fact that most African-American men are dating more Caucasian women than Caucasian men dating African-American women? Should black women just do something about this statistic?
Tell me your opinions! Let me know your thoughts and views!
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About the Author
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- From: Sinful_Soul1@xanga
- Name: Sinful_Soul1
- Location: Staten Island, New York, United States
- About Me: I'm a full-time college student (Pre-Law major, switching to English soon) I love to write plays, short stories, blogs, and poems.
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Comments (127)
I like this. :DD
I've personally never dated a guy that wasn't white, but I wouldn't have any problem dating a Latino, Asian or African-American guy. It depends on WHO they are, not WHAT they look like.
I would date somebody out of my race if somebody outside my race could get interested in me. LOL. Interracial dating is awesome.
Regarding the statistics, whether it's racial, preference or mere coincidence, well, there's no way of knowing. There are many reasons why a person is dating somebody and why not somebody else. I am not thinking too deeply about it.
Because most black guys have big penises
I'm an equal opportunity dater
@din02243158@xanga - That is the BIGGEST stereotype ever. Not even most black guys have big penises.... it depends on a black man's nationality and cultural background in my opinion. If he is of African or Caribbean decent then the chances of him having a large penis is greater than a Black guy, whose great-grandparents, grandparents, parents and himself where born here in the U.S. (That's my weird theory and it haven't been proven wrong...... yet....)
But I don't even know what most white men's penises when look like to back me up.... I never hooked up with a guy outside of my race yet....I’ve only ever dated outside my race. My first couple of boyfriends were white, then I dated a guy who was half black half Korean. He was followed by a Latino guy and then my last boyfriend was half Italian half Vietnamese. I don’t hang around a lot of Filipino guys, so that could be why I’ve never dated one, but really, my preference is for guys over 6ft and I find that more outside my race.
@Sinful_Soul1@xanga - lolz......... I believe it's proportional like you say hehe. I haven't dated out of my race either XD
most of the black men that I've seen are hot, but I don't think they are interested in me as I don't have a huge booty. I'm petite. why else don't they approach me rather than mostly asian guys
the white men that I've talked to also liked big booties, so I don't think they are attracted to me. the asian guys that I've known liked me just the way I am and didn't see me as skinny like black/white men have, they think I'm hot as is. personality matters of course, and I don't mind dating other races, but they rarely talk to me. however, I've been talking to this mixed black with white guy lately and he looks like a heavy weight boxer, good personality, motivated, and has the same morals as me. I think I won the jackpot
I was complaining, then boasting lol 
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - Trust me, what you just said is not true for some black guys. If you have a really pretty face, then that's all they need.
&& Every single man in this world got their own preference when it comes to breasts or butts, no matter what race.
i've never dated someone my own race but i do find black women attractive. its more of me not clicking well with some on the personality side of things. but i dont see anything wrong with interracial dating.
@Sinful_Soul1@xanga - I also think it has to do with environment. there weren't many black or white men at my schools where I grew up, so that's why not many hit on me:P I live in a more white/asian area now, so I think the pick of the crop is due to what's more available, such as an asian, who grew up in a mostly white neighborhood, might grow an affinity for white people or maybe not. there were a lot of latinos in my area growing up and most of the guys that I've liked were latinos. but it could vary depending on personal preferences
The title scared me.. The.. black men... taken?! *gasping horror face*
But it's all good, since this post was mostly about interracial dating, which I am a huge supporter of. Send some black men over here to this white girl, and we're cool. I'll be the cream to your coffee ;)
I do think that black men and white women go out together far more than black women and white men, but that is just from what I have seen.
I'm attracted to white men but I have seen and met some very attractive black men and Asian men. But I'm no good with people and pursuing.
I agree with interracial dating. I'm white and I'm dated a couple of hispanic guys. And i have noticed that more white women are with black men than white men with black women. i guess it's just preference.
i also think that more black men can identify with white women than white men with black women, but that is just what i've noticed.
I personally don't care so much. I'll date whomever I actually like. I'm not going to date a white girl or a black girl or whatever that I don't like. People like me don't get as much pull from the black women. THe oftentimes weird, spontaneous Oreo type. If a girl from a different race or the same race likes me, it's mostly that I am kind of the small opposite of the thug stereotype, and seemed appealing.
i've never dated within my race, though it's just coincidence, not preference for the stereotypical looks of a certain race/ethnicity.
as for the inequality as far as bf/wm and wf/bm goes, it's certainly true and from the research i've seen it's caused by the stereotpye of black women being "loud, rude, hostile and dominant." of coruse not all black women are, but the stereotype exists, and is enough to keep white men at bay.
im black and have a white boyfriend.
my mother tell me we are too different and that there are plenty of black african guys that i could marry instead. :S
im thinkinking its culture, cos i live in the north east of england and we get looks occassionally.. not so often now a days tho.. granted its been 6 years, people are probably bored of us now.
oh and he was my first boyfriend, but before then i had crushes on white and black guys.. never really had any feelings toward asian guys i knew :s
so yey im one for the black female - white male win :)
Hm I'm going to be totally blunt since this is the internet.
A lot of asian guys are found dating mostly asian girls because they simply don't appeal to many girls of other races - you'll hear a lot of girls saying "I date most any race, but I don't particularly like asian guys because they're shy/nerdy/dorky/less masculine." Asian girls tend to do just fine attracting men of other races because they're petite, often hyper-feminized, and very cute. Being shy and demure does nothing for men, but for asian women it doesn't hurt their chances with men too badly.
On the opposite end of the spectrum you have black people. The men are VERY masculine looking, very muscular sometimes even when they don't work out. The guys don't have an issue attracting women, but people will say about black women that they're too muscular, or too bold, or not feminine and delicate enough. Many black women I know have more arm muscle than most of the guys I've dated, but they don't even work out! Being loud, bold, and confident definitely helps the black men in the dating world, but it isn't too uncommon to find men that don't like their women too loud and rambunctious.
Of course, these generalizations can't apply to every asian/black person, but I do think in general people will agree that asians are more demure and feminine and that black people are more loud, rambunctious, and masculine.
@my_horizon@xanga - You say, "but people will say about black women that they're too muscular, or too bold, or not feminine and delicate enough. Many black women I know have more arm muscle than most of the guys I've dated, but they don't even work out!"
Look at my profile picture. I have noooo muscles what so ever. The muscle on me is actually drowning in fat..... not that I'm obese but I am thick and curvy. && that generalization makes no sense. Every black woman has a different body physique. Sorry but, I do not even see many muscular black women..... except for those tennis-playing Williams sisters. Most black women I see are thin and curvy or thick and curvy. Unfortunately, I do see a lot of loud and obnoxious black women. They give us a bad name....@baby__br3@xanga - Yay! :)
I'll date whoever pretty much. I've dated (read as went on a few dates with them, not in a relationship) hispanic, asian, and persian guys, but mostly white guys. I contribute that to where I grew up though. I grew up in the suburbs and while there are black people (my best friend is black), there definitely aren't a lot. I have no problem with interracial dating though. I've seen the cutest babies from interracial dating. They always have the prettiest skin and eye color. I don't think it's fair to say black women are loud, hostile, and dominant. My best friend is definitely one of these people, but she's also lesbian so I don't think she really cares about what guys think of her in that department haha. My old best friend from high school was also black and she was outgoing, not obnoxious, and definitely not dominant. She dated a lot of white guys though. I hung out with her all through high school and still see her every few months and I've only known her to date one black guy. I definitely think it has a lot to do with the environment though.
Black men are extremely forward and hyper-sexualized by our culture and media. For girls of different races, they are like the dirty little fantasy. Black women are de-feminized by our culture in the same vain. Look at television shows and movies with black women; only rarely are they portrayed as slight and feminine, and the ones who are are usually lighter-skinned or mixed race. Our culture defines light=dainty, good; and dark=naughty, bad. It's no wonder. From my limited experience, it does appear that black women do not socialize as openly with other races as black men do, so that probably has a lot to do with it.
What I think is that it is RIDICULOUS even having those statistics taken. What the hell does it matter anyway? Can black women even DO anything about it? Really. It doesn't even matter.
People want equality right? So what is with separating ethnicities and figuring out who is dating whom?
Especially in the United States... there are hardly many people out there who aren't mixed with two or more ethnic backgrounds.
So I say throw out those statistics and stop caring if you see a black man with a white woman. Or a hispanic woman with a white male. Truly, it doesn't even matter.
It's this continuance in defining ethnic lines that helps keep racism alive.
So how about we forget who is dating who and just be happy two people found one another.
i'm white and my man is mexican.
i don't really consider him mexican though. i just don't see it, i guess i'm colorblind.
i love who i love.
i live in an area of brooklyn that has a lot of minorities (black, caribbean, hispanic). lately due to gentrification quite a few white people have been moving in; nowadays i do see more white girls with black men. a few white girls that i've talked to actually tell me they have a preference for black men, but i don't hear any of my guy friends tell me they're into black girls. i would actually agree with you that there is something weird about seeing more interracial couples here in new york where the girl is white and the man is black. i don't see too many cases where the reverse is true.
the males that seem to get the most play are well-built, darker in color and appear to be of african descent rather than latin. maybe it's because, as they say, africans brought to the new world were bred to be more effective at manual labor and ergo as a group are more muscular and taller than white men. although slavery and the attendant eugenics are distinctly horrible, it seems that in this (unsubstantiated) respect slavery has bitten whitey on the ass. so maybe this is a factor (i.e. women are attracted to well-built males of any background).
i dated a jamaican girl for a while. and no, i'm not white. i'm half japanese (father's side) and half mexican w/ some french on my mother's side. so multiculturalism is in my blood. i love all women.
oh yes: i wanted to say how much i appreciate the use of statistics and the corresponding citations in your post Sinful_Soul1; this to me is proper writing. well done.