Thursday, 28 April 2011
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Those Who Believe in Love at First Sight...
...will always be looking.At least according to the awesome site commonties.com.
I hate to believe that's true because more and more, I'm starting to feel like I DO believe in love at first sight. Online dating has taught me that first impressions matter, and those that didn't quite appeal on the first date never ended up appealing on the 2nd or 3rd. Somewhere in the back of my head, I'd still like to continue to give people chances.
But then I meet guys like the one I did tonight. And suddenly, it's like a truck hits me: THIS is the kind of guy I like. Pretty much from the get-go, something about the way he carried himself drew me in. Instinctively, I thought he was the type of guy I could see myself dating.
I scrounged up the courage to talk to him at one point, and thankfully he was not an asshole. He seemed pretty open, somewhat softspoken, but also had a hint of a sense of humor. Later, thanks to Facebook, I found out he had similar interests as me and works in a related profession.
Yup, I'm interested. But if there's another thing online dating has taught me, it's that guys I'm interested in are almost never interested in me.
Fate brought us back together again. In the last two months, I had several opportunities to see this guy, and I got to know him better. So much better, in fact, that I decided to ask him out. It was the first time I ever made a move on a guy I truly, truly liked.
Unfortunately, he didn't feel the same way. So much for going with my "gut feelings" and "first impressions." I may have thought I found love at first sight, but love, alas, didn't find me. In the meantime, I've learned a lesson: Falling in love with Facebook profiles is a BAD idea.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
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About the Author
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- From: sonicfries@xanga
- Name: sonicfries
- About Me: A twentysomething trying to find her way in New York City.
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Comments (49)
Well, I'm a subscriber to the Joey Comeau train of thought:
"Love at first sight. When you see someone so beautiful that you forget they aren't there just for you."
Do I believe in it? Absolutely. Do I think I must feel it to date someone? No. But there is such thing as instant chemistry, whether it be physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. I think it takes four out of four to get the 'love at first sight' feeling. Is it love? Not exactly, but close enough that I imagine it causes most cases.
I believe in love at first sight. I met my current boyfriend on a dating website almost two years ago. I wait a year and a few months before i even met him. We talked every single day non-stop but we never saw each other in person the first time I saw him. I knew that I loved him. This might not be the fairytale love at first sight but it was love at first sight. <3
I do know the feeling of meeting someone for the first time and have that tremendous rush of attraction toward them...suddenly everything moves in slow motion and you can't help but fix your eyes on her.
I've had lust at first sight a few times
it wasn't over a facebook profile because profile pics can be deceiving sometimes. it is more during real life encounters than online. I was at a casino on superbowl day this year and some random guy sat down next to me at the slot machines, and I was instantly attracted to him
I don't know if he was attracted to me and intentionally chose the seat next to me or it was just random, but I saw his eyes wandering my way as I was trying to pretend that I didn't notice him, too
the moment was killed after I noticed a ring on his ring finger
he was so cute, but that can't work out
he lost all of his money and walked away with his hands in his empty pockets lol I've had love at first connection during an in depth conversation though
when it feels like I've known the person for like forever even if we barely know each other that well due to that connection, then that's when I feel this new kind of "love" or more like comfort that I have with the person. of course it has to be mutual for it to flourish into a lot more love. however, when the person says something that just crosses the line, sometimes my feelings change and I just view the guy as another ahole. or he could view me similarly in the vice versa situation and I don't even really realize it until we get into a fight, but it depends how extreme or mild for why the person crossed boundaries, etc.
I don’t believe in love in first sight, but I believe that two people can connect a few moments after meeting each other. Lust at first sight... that I definitely believe in. It’s like... instant physical chemistry and awesome sex.
I think... love is something that both parties have to work at. It isn’t something that happens instantly or overnight. I think that immediate feeling of being “in-love” is infatuation. If it’s true love, it’ll last past that infatuation, but it isn’t something that happens at first sight.I can't say for sure, since I never experienced it. But I'm not waiting on it. And I would certainly be...skeptical. But maybe under such a sudden, intense emotion, I'd feel differently.
Define love. In my opinion, you can not love a stranger. It is rather lust you experience, and there is nothing wrong with that. Lust turns into love. Its all to do with chemistry. The very same chemistry you are taught in school.
I've never experienced love at first sight, and I'm not going to say what others can and cannot experience. (although, I think attraction at first site is a better descriptor of the phenomenon, but I digress.) But with most of the people I ended up becoming attracted to, I knew almost immediately that there was possibility. With my current love interest, when I met him, I didn't think he was my type, either personality-wise or looks-wise. But I liked him almost instantly and I knew right away that I had to get to know him better. But I wasn't in love. That happened later. Now, if I could just get him to feel the same about me...
I believe in lust at first sight. Or love at first night.
@Spectrophile@xanga - That's the thing though...with this guy, i didn't exactly feel lust. he's cute but not the most gorgeous guy on the planet, and i didn't feel the urge to sleep with him right away. rather i just had a feeling -- as silly as it now seems -- that we would see the world in very similar ways. That's sort of my definition of love: finding a kindred spirit that you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with.
@sonicfries@xanga - That's the thing, many people get that feeling when lusting for others too
. It is the lust chemicals at work that makes you feel like you have common values and interests. Its all in order to get you to bond. Your lover either bends to your whim, or you to theirs, or you meet somewhere in the middle. At the time it occurs, you generally aren't aware its happening etc. It ain't love. Arguably love (depending on your definition) doesn't come generally until 1-2 years after (it can occur sooner), when chemicals responsible for lust disappear. That's if the relationship survives that long. After that stage, body chemistry between lovers is little or no different than that between good friends.
You mean attraction at first sight?
yeah, lol, i know what I like. I'm very picky and have a specific type :P
No. It will never happen to me since I'm the type to gradually acquire the feelings when I like their personality enough. Has never happened to me before and I doubt it ever will be because of how I am. I'm not saying it's not possible for other people though.
In the past I would have said it doesn't exist. However, in high school 4 years ago I noticed this boy I never happened to see before. Honestly, it changed my life. Every time I saw him I felt like I was becoming more and more crazy about him. I fell for him before we even spoke a word to each other. Its a cute love story, with a sad ending, but long story short.. I ended up arranging a way to meet him and started a convo and we both completely fell for each other pretty fast. I can definitely say that although my love for him did grow deeper through bond, the craziness I felt about him the first second I saw him never died. Sadly, we both had some issues that need to be worked with to have a successful relationship and we hit rock bottom after a few years together. He moved on and I'm on my way too.. But going through all of that..I definitely do believe in love at first sight.
How can you love someone you don't know? You can have chemistry with someone. You can be physically attracted to someone. But love someone at first sight? What a bunch of nonsense.
Hell no I don't believe in love at first sight.
When I met my boyfriend, I felt an instant pull to him. I felt that there was something different about him--different than any other guy I had ever met. We've been dating for over four years and we want to spend the rest of our lives together. He felt a similar pull toward me when we first met.
And I still don't believe in love at first sight.
What that love? Uh, no. Obviously not. You can't love someone until you get to know them. What I felt when I first met my boyfriend was intuition. It was like. It was a crush. It was not love. I did not fall in love with him until I got to know him as a person, until I had countless deep conversations with him, until we had shared so much of ourselves with each other.
Lust =/= love.
Like =/= love.
Chemistry =/= love.
Attraction =/= love.
Intuition =/= love.
Seriously people...don't cheapen the word "love". It's a beautiful, deep, sometimes heart-wrenching thing that takes time to grow.
@fields_of_sunflowers@xanga - Exactly.
We had a discusssion on this in a training session, only because Fiona came out with me being her boytfriend and me her girlfriend. she tried her hardest. I said no I dont belive in love at 1st sight.
In 2010 once again the female entertainment, whether she meant it, she asked my parents could I marry your son. the only facts she found about me was I did not smoke or drink or had a girlfriend back at home. I liked her but would not risked her job by hanging around her too much whilst she was working.
No. I do believe you can have an immediate connection from the first conversation (as long as you talk about something substantial), but love at first sight seems to imply that you can fall in love with someone before ever talking to them. That doesn't really make sense to me.
In my opinion, love at first sight is bull.
I don't believe in "Love" at first sight per se, because as someone else mentioned, I believe that love is too complicated an emotion to ever be able to have for someone you don't actually know.
However, I do believe in instantly knowing and feeling connected to someone at first sight - without even speaking to them. I'm not talking about lust, because the feeling is not "I want to have sex with you". It has happened to me a few times before that I have seen someone and just KNOWN that they were a good person, that we would get along, that we would have some kind of a connection, even if it didn't develop into something sexual. Its actually how my boyfriend and I met - we both had that feeling, without even really speaking. It was really weird. As though we'd known each other forever. And once we started talking, we had all these crazy similarities.
In my opinion, thats the feeling others try to define as "love at first sight".
@Syphan@xanga - totally agree. I didn't read what you wrote before I wrote my first comment, but thats exactly how my boyfriend and I met too. Its something important, and its something real, and its probably what people TRY to define as "love at first sight".... but its NOT love, because love is something so much more.
Should smoke more pot, to counter act the cataracts and failing frontal lobe...
Love at first sight, I don't believe in it. How can we fall for someone we've just seen once? Attraction at first sight is probable more like it. ;)