Thursday, 28 April 2011
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Boys, Girls and Labels - Are Taken Girls Fair Game?
Over the weekend, I was at the bar with a few girlfriends. They are all in meaningful relationships (lucky me) and we were just out to celebrate my birthday.A few rounds in, we bump into a mutual friend of ours, Allen. We knew him from back in high school. After a bit of small talk, he blatantly starts hitting on my girlfriend. While I’m chatting up his friend, Allen tells my friend that she looks hot and asks for her phone number.
During the small talk, we went over relationship statuses so it’s not like he didn’t know she was seeing someone so what was his deal?
Do guys simply ignore the fact that a girl is in a relationship if her boyfriend isn’t around? Are girls who are taken fair game when out alone?
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Comments (60)
No, your friend's just a douche :P
JK DONT TAKE ME TOO SERIOUSLY.
Taken doesn't mean she has the ring yet, so if your gf became single again...
Still it's up to your gf is she's gonna give out her number.
Guys don't care if a girl is taken, he will still try. Always wanting what they can't have...
maybe he just wanted to be friends? it's not like the girl's not allowed to speak to guys...
Eh, he can try all he likes - if she loves her boyfriend, she'll just be flattered by the attention, but will turn him down. When I met my now-boyfriend, I was in another relationship, and he still asked for my number - and we've now been together four months. There's no harm in trying!
Unless there is a ring on her finger, guys are going to try and some girls are going to take the bait. I was very committed, as was my fiance, before we got engaged so couldn't fly with us BUT now that I've got a ring I'm especially off limits. That's a no-no.
Taken girls are fair game for single guys until they have a ring on their finger, and even then, it's not a guaranteed deterrent. It's still up to the woman how far she lets the flirtation go.
Plenty of women "complain" that they get hit on more when they're in relationships than when they're single, so...ya know. I only put complain in quotes because some women do enjoy the increased attention; I know some don't.
It's all a competition. My SO made it clear that he wanted me even when I was still with my last boyfriend, and I decided that I'd be happier with my current honey, so I made the decision to leave the last guy. It kind of is fair game unless you're totally dedicated and committed to one another in a relationship. Right now I'd be disgusted if somebody tried to get with me because I don't WANT to walk away from who I have now... that phrase 'all is fair in love and war' is not exactly a NICE sentiment, but lots of people live their lives that way. It's not easy for some people to NOT fight for who they want, regardless of the situation
And just to make it clear, I didn't flirt or mess around with my SO when I was still attached. I decided I was unhappy being in a relationship previously so I made that decision for me first, and THEN I chose to get to know my sweetie
Depends on the guy. For me, if I know she is with someone, best friends is as far as I go. If she develops feelings for me while she's in a relationship, being the friend that I am, I'll remind her that she's still in a relationship. If she's with a douche, I'll wait till she leaves him first, but I won't mention anything other than "do what you think is good for you". And yeah, no one wants to be the person who breaks up a relationship.
So she's got a goalie. Doesn't mean you can't score.
Personally, I wouldn't do it, though.
I don't think girls who are taken are fair game, mostly because shit happens to me all the time.
It's really annoying.
You sound jealous.
boys = don't care.
Of course they're fair game. A woman doesn't become instantly unattractive when she's 'taken'. Outside of marriage, everyone is "fair game". They're all available. Pursue whoever you want. It doesn't guarantee you a 'yes', but you can try all you want. Sex with them will definitely be more difficult, and going on dates with them even more so, but try anyway if you think the time and effort for him/her is worth it.
Don't really see the issue with it.
From my experience if the guy knows and respects the guy in my life they look at me as offf limits whether he is around or not. If he doesn't know him or does know him but isn't friends with him, they just try pretend he doesn't exist. Actually, this kind of goes for girls and taken guys as well.
Not at all. If they're in a relationship, that has to be respected. Her boyfriend could be across the globe and it wouldn't change the fact that she's taken.
If I know people are in a relationship, I'll not hit on them. This is even if they don't have a ring on their finger. From the comments I'm reading here though, perhaps I'm doing it all wrong! Unfortunately I have a good reputation I'd like to keep.
taken girls are definitely fair game. if the girl didn't want the attention, there are plenty of different ways to let them know. no need to get defensive. and if she did leave, then i guess the relationship wasn't that amazing to begin with. i say this because i'm very happy in mine now and if someone else tried to interfere, i wouldn't give them the time of day.
people always love things that they cant have
@Spectrophile@xanga - I respect and back off of guys if I know they are in relationships. It's not a game. Ring or not. They are still to be respected.
@PseudoEuphoric@xanga - @lapis_lazuli917@xanga - I concur.
OP:
I don't agree with everyone else on this matter. No one is fair game if they are in a relationship, ring or not. I don't understand the logic behind everyone being fair game, taken or not. Without a ring or not. That shouldn't mattered. People in relationships should be respected, at least I think so. Ring or not.
All's Fair in Love and War.............. :) Ok so maybe I don't agree with the war part. But I think it depends. Like is it a married woman with kids? No way. A Jr. High who's been in a "commited" relationship for 1 month? I wouldn't give up hope. Extreme examples I know, but you get the idea.
No ring means no permanent commitment to any one person, or if there IS such commitment then the person can and will quickly let the newcomer know that they are not interested. If they don't quickly put a stop to it, then on some level they are interested. Most people, unless they are sure they are with "the one" are still open to finding "the one". People in relationships meet and fall in love with others all the time. People don't just go after something they supposedly can't have, they go after what they want.
what the hell? i'm reading all these comments and i guess people don't feel the same way as i do? no that shit isn't "fair game". if you're with someone, to me it means that you are committed... otherwise you're just "dating" (not bf/gf). any guy that tries to go after a girl that already has a bf is douche bag and any girl that typically falls for that shit has nothing between her ears.
Depends on the woman. After all, some taken women are fair game because they want to be. They're unhappy in their relationships or whatever. It also depends on the guy and his moral compass. Some guys won't touch a girl that's taken, regardless of how serious the scenario is. Then there are some that will hit on the one with the ring just for the sport of it. As always, it depends on the people involved. I personally won't make a move on a girl that's taken unless I get some sign of interest (or a move made on me).
you ppl are all idiots. someone hits on my girl in front of me, fully aware of our relationship, that's an instant ass kicking. it's disrespectful to you and disrespectful to your relationship.
a guy that does it behind my back is a shady tool. the one that does it in front of me is suicidal.