In my dabbling of dating websites, or even Facebook, I've learned what to check in on to make a successful effort! Here are some tips from lessons I learned.
1. This is by far the most important. And I know, you've heard it half a million times. You do not know this person. They could be anyone, anywhere. Do not give out personal information, address, family details, where you work or go to school. And never agree to meet someone unless you're in a public place and you're sure of who you're going to meet. (Webcam chatting is a great way to subtly clarify!)
2. Their profile picture.
a) A warning sign is if they have one picture. Pretty easy to fake, especially if they look too good to be true (chances are they are! How many drop-dead gorgeous people need to date utilizing the web? Not many.)
b) Remember! They wouldn't choose a bad, or 'meh' picture of themselves. Their main picture is a good, if not, the best picture of themselves they have access to. Don't be surprised if they don't meet expectations that their profile picture sets.
c) Check surroundings! Personally, discretion on Facebook is a MUST. You don't want to pursue someone publicly gripping a bong or sloppily guzzling beers. (Drinking shouldn't be a deal-breaker, within reason. As long as they aren't advertising themselves with 'WOOOO I LUBB DRUNKING! -collapse-")
3. Check their grammar. This may be a pet peeve of my own, but frequent spelling mistakes and fundamental grammatical errors can give you a big hint about who you're talking to. Scratch this altogether if it wouldn't bug you. And the way they word themselves in textual conversation can tell you a lot. One or two word messages can be annoying, but don't make it a dealbreaker.
And don't overdo it with the smileyfaces. (Guys: A ;) face doesn't always mean DTF!)
4. The first message.
a) They may just say 'hey' or 'hi'. Don't respond with a college thesis. Say something similar back, maybe throw in a smiley face to make them more comfortable.
b) Really long messages that seem scripted should send up a red flag. It could be a template they copy/paste frequently.
c) If you get an overly creepy one, just ignore it. And if it's over the top, block them.
5. I wouldn't recommend having a long-distance relationship. Especially starting off online. But if you feel something, and they seem sincere, there's no harm in giving it a shot. Oh, and don't throw around the L-word.
What do you think?
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Comments (34)
Pretty common sense I think but then again seeing some of these girls on the internet I guess they need it.
I think with things like Stickam/Skype if they just send you pictures but won't go "live" well, then they are playing you for a fool. I don't think God/Mother Nature/Cupid make it hard to meet your perfect date, they are probably less than an hour's drive from you right now.
Idk, some of these could be mistaken for something totally innocent.
2) When I met my boyfriend he didn't have a picture of himself and yet, I trusted him..knew people who've known him longer than I did and he turned out to be exactly who he said he was. Not everybody owns a camera (shocker, I know!) Most men don't give a flying fuck about how they look like in photos, unlike girls who take like 30 before they're satisfied with one, so yeah, it could be a bad picture of themselves. Not everybody has a facebook.
3) I don't think how a person types (or how much or little) is any indication if they're fake or not. I would think to be flattered if a guy wrote me a long and thought out message and not just one lame sentence.
5) Who are you to say if somebody can't have a long distance relationship? Or thrown in the "love" word? I've been in one for five months and we're still going strong.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - It says to go for something that feels sincere, and I don't think this post is supposed to be like, WHOA. WATCH OUT THIS GUY/GIRL DOESN'T HAVE A PICTURE, it's just something to take into account?
I thought this was pretty insightful. I think the same say. Especially since there are so many issues with plugged-in dating
@MangoWOW@xanga - Agreed
Mostly good.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - aren't you the girl who dates the vampire with the blurry camera?
if so... you should disregard this blog. None of this will help you.
@lonelystrangergirl@xanga - aren't you the bitchy girl who won't take that penis out of her ass?
If so...you should disregard life.. because you keep failing at it.
1.another scenario is that you can verify that the person is real via webcam, but the person can be a serial rapist, so a background check is also ideal
but if you trust him regardless, then whatever. 2.there are foreigners, who use famous celebrity pics and think that I don't recognize david beckham, antonio banderas and harrison ford's picture when I see it, so I've seen trolls use these celebs as their profile pic and try to roleplay like the celebs
I've also seen females using famous celeb pics, such as adrina lima's and I kindly notified the naive foreign guy of the poser, but he didn't seem to care or understand
3.if he still can't differentiate between your versus you're during text conversations, then I cannot move onto talking to him on the next level. if he mixes up his synonyms next, then I just can't continue with the sesame street level of grammar. however, I'll overlook and forgive him if he is very cute
4.I've seen the copy/paste messages and recognize them immediately, so I ignore them, because they are likely scammers with professional computer hacking skills, who are trying to get me to take the bait of clicking on their virus links
I've also received long messages from local guys that tell me all about themselves and cut straight to the point about wanting a serious relationship while telling me exactly what they are looking for, including sexual preferences, so if I'm not interested, then they tell me that they won't waste their time, which I think is a good idea and not that creepy compared to the guys that don't really care about standards and just want to hookup. neither are what I'm looking for, so that's settled
5. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't...just like in real life, so to each their own if they use common sense.
"How many drop-dead gorgeous people need to date utilizing the web? Not many."
are you for real? where are you from? you realize that EVERYONE in new york does some kind of online dating, right?
i think the fact that you see online dating as a "last resort" kind of thing reflects more on your own self-esteem than the clientele that use it. the day that i see it as anything less than an option is the day that i will delete my profile.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - Hm, maybe I worded that wrong? Professionally taken pictures, in like, outrageously beautiful landscapes should send up a red flag.
What to watch out for dating online:
Dating online.@lonelystrangergirl@xanga - I just laughed at that for, literally, a good two minutes. Thank you.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - at least mine's a real penis and not an imaginary sparkling one. :-\
@Grtt@xanga -
aw, you're totally welcome.
I hate when I first meet someone & right off the bat, they pressure you for pictures. That makes me think you're a psycho...I mean seriously, I've met people that IM or message saying "Hey, you got pics?!". Creeps...
Is it weird that a pet peeve of mine is people having pet peeves over "improper" grammar? I mean, the rest of these are pretty straightforward and work as some decent stand-bys in terms of dating rules. But prescriptive grammar as a measure of personal worth? Seriously - a person's ability to follow the rules of standard written American measures their intellect about as comprehensively as the GRE or ACT. It shows that you can stomach unnecessary rules. In all fairness, I suppose that's a virtue in some circles. Really, though, I'd worry much more about what they are saying than how they are saying it. After all, I don't suspect you're going to hound them too much if they have a dialect that departs from standard spoken American when you finally meet them.
@Day923@xanga - fair enough. though tbh i think online dating is really fing retarded, anyway. it only caters to attractive people (of both genders). i can put in 1/10 of the effort in real life and get 10 times the results. the difference is that people are generally willing to engage in conversation irl. my strengths lie in my social skills, not my ability to write a dumb profile that nobody will read, or take a good photo...and online, i'm not convinced that anyone cares about anything besides your photo.
@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - is this a serious complaint? how would you feel if a guy with no photo messaged you?
@lonelystrangergirl@xanga - i lol'd so hard. you're awesome
I'm on okcupid now and I'm always paranoid of people. I feel like if I only send 2 messages to a guy and he's already asking me meet up with him that I should run away quickly. And after I say no and they are still begging then I just block up. I'm a bit bias though because depend on the situation I'm much more likely to meet up with a girl than a guy. That is after we've been messaging for a while. Then I add her on facebook to make sure she's not a pyscho killer and then we exchange phone numbers. I'm actually planning to meet someone in the summer
I have to say I agree with the tips. If the first couple messages have anything to do with hooking up, it's definitely creepy. I do pay attention to the grammar especially. It's annoying when a person types something stupid like "Damn you're hot" when they could easily just say "Hey, I think you're gorgeous". I just respect people more when they're more appropriate. I'm sure anybody would. I rarely look at profile pictures, unless I was really REALLY going to get into a relationship with someone. I think it's good to be physically attracted to the the person you might find an interest in. Everyone is different though.
Hmmmm I have been curious about online dating for a while. I think I will try it as an option if I do end up moving to a new city. I guess because I am still a student, I don't really need it at the moment, but as an option when I know few people it would be good.
Don't you get tarred with the "your a loser who looks online" brush :/ I am pretty confident in myself, but I don't want a massive red loser stamp on my forehead....
The problem with online dating is that desperate horny guys ruin it for normal guys seeking a quality relationship with an attractive woman. Â Women who look at least average on an online dating site can get at least 100 messages per week easily. Â The key is for men to do something to really stand out.
NO PROFILE PIC=SUSPICOUS....
i think you look really young to know so much about online dating. but hey, its a new generation.