Sunday, 24 April 2011
Here's a topic I'm sure more people will agree on, but I would love to see the counterarguments nevertheless. This topic applies solely to men, although it may just a tad little apply to women in a few rare cases. It's a topic that all the PUA's focus on and consider as the #1 pitfall for men in the dating arena. This topic is on wussy behavior.
In most circumstances, men who are wusses are unattractive to women. What do I mean by being a wuss? I mean sucking up to a woman and constantly seeking her approval on things. You've all heard the saying "Nice guys finish last", and it's true when it comes to dating. The worst part is most men are raised to think and act this way, either by their mothers or by certain entertainment venues. They are always told things like "pay for her date", "always buy her gifts", "always do what she wants", etc. Unfortunately, this backfires big time.
A lot of women say they just want a "nice, sweet, caring guy", but is that what they really want? If so, how come women keep dating jerks? Better yet, why is it that women will typically go on only a handful of dates with "nice" men but stick to jerks like glue for years? Or rather, a common situation is a woman will date a "nice" guy for a few months while she is secretly longing for her badboy eboyfriend. What is the logic behind this? The answer is there is no logic. Women cannot choose who they are attracted to. Same with men.
Even the most clean-cut choir boy who follows a strict faith will be attracted to a super model without any reasoning whatsoever. David DeAngelo puts all this in the best perspective and uses a nice allegory to represent how women feel when it comes to dating jerks over nice guys. Nice guys are like healthy food. Women need healthy food. They say they want it. However, they decide to eat junk food instead.
Now am I suggesting that men become jerks just to attract more women? The answer is no. In fact, becoming a jerk when that's not who you are can backfire because it shows that you're insecure with who you are. Rather, I am suggesting that men stop placing women on pedestals. They are not perfect; they have problems like you do, sometimes many more. You are NOT being yourself when you decide to define your existence through the existence of a woman you're attracted to.
You must be comfortable in your own skin and not care what she thinks. What I mean by that is stop buying her gifts (particularly expensive gifts) on every date you go on with her; instead only give her gifts on special occasions or by surprise every once in a while (if the relationship kicks off). Don't call her several times per week especially in the beginning of the relationship; do it sparingly.
You have your own matters to take care of and you don't need to put your life on hold for her. Don't ask her "well where would you like to go?" when setting up a date; you as the man decide and if she has a better idea, go with it. Do NOT go around asking your friends what you should do next or even post articles on Datingish asking everyone if you made the right decision, hoping you didn't totally blow things.
Women are more attracted to men who are confident in the decisions that they make, even if they are bad ones. In the same sense, when you call, don't be like "Oh I hope I didn't call you at a bad time"; she will tell you if you have. In fact, if she really wants to talk to you, almost no time is a "bad" time.
When you meet a woman, don't be afraid to knock on her and make fun of her in a friendly way. Even if she fires back, do NOT give in by going "Oh I'm sorry I'm sorry it was a joke!". Furthermore, don't come off as a desperate jackass. A lot of guys make this mistake when they see an attractive woman particularly in a nightclub or online. Watch any YouTube video with an attractive girl doing a vlog and see how many guys post in the comment section something like "OMG UR TEH HAWT!!!!!!" I wouldn't care as much if the same guys didn't plague online dating sites. Even average-looking women will receive hundreds of the same lameass messages from horny guys.
Before anyone interprets this article in the wrong way, I am not at all suggesting that a man should be disrespectful and not courteous towards a woman. Rather, a man should always be in control of his life and in control of himself when meeting and dating women. Too many guys fall apart and break down in this area of their lives, which only leads to them getting hurt in the long run.