I was out having lunch the other day and as I was waiting for my afternoon cocktail at the bar. I did a quick glance around the restaurant. As I took a look around I noticed that this man and woman were sitting not across from one another at their table, but side by side and right away I kind of made of face. At this point I figured they were a couple, but the reason for the face was because I’m not a big fan of sitting side-by-side with a significant other unless the table calls for it.
For example, at my favorite Mexican restaurant that my ex- and I would go to with a bunch of our friends, we would get the big round booth, and then we would sit next to one-another. The other time I did was with this guy I was dating and we were at a pizza place, and the reason we sat side by side was because we had to see the hockey game that was on TV.
I know some men and women like sitting next to one another so they can “be closer,” and hold hands and what not. That’s cool I guess, but I actually like it when I’m at a restaurant and a guy grabs my hand from across the table and gently massages it. I also like being able to talk to the person I’m out with in the eyes. It kind of sucks when I go to the bar, and actually want to sit at the bar because then I have to keep turning to my left or right to talk.
Facial expressions + eyebrow raising + all that good stuff is missed when you are side by side unless you can face him/her. Let me reassure you I don't judge people side-by-side unless they are engaging in inappropriate PDA. Get a room and don't subject the rest of us to your foreplay fumblings. (Especially when you are drunk.) I have friends tell me that they sit next to their boyfriend or girlfriends because they don't like people looking at them while they're eating which I guess I can understand, but when I'm eating you better believe the only thing I am focused on is the food that has been put in front of me--nothing more.
If there are only two of us going out to eat, whether it be my manfriend, ladyfriend, whatever, we sit across. I would feel so cramped if we just left half the booth unoccupied. I Need my space for my coffee, napkins, wallet, water. If I have the ability to spread out, I sure do it.
I don't find it creepy or nothing when I see two people sitting next to one another in a booth or table, but my personal stance on the subject is in most situations I like to sit across from someone that I'm going to have dinner or drinks with.
Are you a side-by-side sitter or an across the table kind of person?
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Comments (52)
I sit across from my boyfriend and pretty much everyone. After seeing Date Night, I wanted to sit next to my boyfriend haha. I agree that it seems awkward though. I like being able to see my boyfriend's face when we're talking.
Sitting across. Sitting beside is usually only acceptable at tables like you describe. Also, in lounges where they have couches with small tables and tapas. In normal restaurants its just weird, and servers kindof make fun of people who sit next to each other like that.
so why did you make a face?
and i do both, but i sit beside him more.
my man actually likes me too. he likes putting his arm around me or putting his hand on my thigh. :)
I sit across so I can hold her hands as I'm talking face to face with her. Well, at least in a relationship. The only time I sit side by side is when someone else (or others) are tagging along.
Side by side works better when you're sharing. (FWIW, my wife and I almost always do this- it lets us try and enjoy two things. . .)
you're so judgmental. let people choose however they want to sit, you have no right to comment about it, let alone make a face at them. that's just rude.
I like both. I sit next to or sometimes across from my bf. I'm liking sitting next to him a lot more. I only made him sit across because I like having everything even on one side.
@booboo - She's not being judgmental. She's simply voicing her opinion about sitting side by side which happens to be that she just doesn't like it for herself. If it works for other couples/people, then good for them but she prefers sitting opposite from each other.
Anyway, we sit opposite from each other because we actually like to see each others faces. We've sat side by side before which isn't bad just a bit awkward. We sit side by side at family dinners or when we go out to friends birthday parties (like you said above) and it's nice being able to hold his hand without having to reach but when it's just the two of us, we sit opposite from each other :)
i tend to not talk if i'm sitting next to someone, cause i can't see them. makes me quiet for some reason. even when i'm on the train, if my friends are sitting down, i prefer to stand and face them.
i've heard some evolutionary theories about why guys don't like to sit face-to-face, but i call bs on them (as i do with most evolutionary theories).
Well I only sit next to someone if we're in a steady relationship and have been for some time. It would just feel awkward otherwise.
who the fuck cares? literally a whole post about this? Je-sus.
Well.. I find it more awkward sitting across from him. I don't like when people watch me eat my food, but mostly.. it's because i'm always beside him usually. I enjoy having physical contact with him and when we're eating, we can't really have any physical contact if we're across from each other. It feels strange.. because whenever we're together we're ALWAYS touching. Except when i'm socializing with friends, of course. PDA is gross, I agree.. but man, when you love the guy it's hard to give a shit about what other people see. I just want to kiss him, or hug him, or just show him that I'm completely in love with him and only him. It might be gross but I'm with the one person that makes me really happy and this doesn't last forever. So, I'd rather be in the moment then be self conscious about what other people think. We're gonna die eventually, so you should probably do what you feel is right and ignore what other people think. they're not living your life. WELL that's quite the tangent.. but hey it relates..(of course not everyone is the same. there are people who do not like PDA no matter what but are still very much in love. so it just depends on the peoples).
It's funny how significant seating arrangement is. it's small but it means a lot to.. people who care enough.
If my bf and I are at a booth, we sit across (unless other people are with us then we sit next to each other). If there are chairs, we generally sit next to each other. With friends it's always across. At first it was weird for me because I've always sat across from someone. Now I'm used to it and prefer it with him.
"I don't find it creepy or nothing when I see two people sitting next
to one another in a booth or table, but my personal stance on the
subject is in most situations I like to sit across from someone that I'm
going to have dinner or drinks with."
Alright, so that's your personal preference...why exactly did you make a face over someone else's seating arrangement..?
Side by side, please! The only way you "miss out" on all the BS OP claims you miss like facial expressions and such is if you're, uh, not looking at each other at all. In which case, why are you on a date?
it's case by case for me. in nyc it can be hard to hear what someone says (in crowded noisy environments), when they are across the table. side by side entails a twist at the waist, which can be uncomfortable.
across the table is pretty conventional. side by side is occasionally called for. as described above, side by side allows pda, but honestly i don't know anyone that makes out during meals (ergo that's never been a consideration for me).
i think this post is interesting, since it voices a consideration i have thought about before (laughs).
I just pick a seat that is comfortable. if it is lunch time and the restaurant has the blinds open, so the sun is shining on one side of the table, I'll take the seat that is in the shade
he can race me to pick the better seat if he wants, but I'm swift, so all is fair in musical chairs. if it is dinner, I'll scan the room as I walk in and if I see a table that is loud or something annoying, I'll pick the seat that isn't facing or farthest away from them, so that the ambience will be disturbed at a minimum and I have a nice evening. I usually sit across, but if there is someone that I can't stand to look at, I'll switch seats and sit next to him
I don't really like dining out because I like privacy and prefer more private booths or to have homemade chef dinner dates.
I almost always sit next to him... =}
What.. you can still look at each other when you're side-by-side, plus I like it when he puts his hand on my leg. :) When you're across from each other all you can do is grab a hand, but when you're beside each other, it's like, he's right there, ya know. I like side-by-side best.
When I worked at a restaurant, one time this couple sat side by side in a booth that was only meant for one person on each side, and neither of them were small people.
The guy, who was on the outside, was hanging out into the aisle. It was so awkward to walk past them because of this. I have no idea why they didn't ask for a bigger booth, because we had them.
Not surprisingly, they shared everything, including one coke between the two of them, and they had way too much PDA for a public situation.
All the servers made fun of them.
My opinion is that it's sometimes appropriate to sit on the same side, and other times it definitely isn't, such as in that situation.
For meals, I think across. Maybe? Haha.
Across the table, always. I can reach for his hand and that's enough affection for me. We're out in public anyway so the less PDA the better.
@raspbxrrryjam@xanga - Agreed. Maybe the OP has some problems with her neck that it only feels comfortable facing absolutely straight forward, but personally I have no problem with looking to my left or right.
And I'm sorry, but this blog is pretty much all BS. When you're sitting next to someone you're closer to them. You're closer to their face, their ears, their body, etc. I used to only sit across, because that's the status quo. But one of my previous bf's introduced me to sitting side-by-side, because he wanted to be as close to me as possible. It's awkward at first, I'm not going to lie...but that's because it's something new and you're uncomfortable with it. But honestly since then it's just a habit that I have picked up and used with all of my SO's since.
Especially since my current SO is in the military so I rarely get to see him, when I do. I just honestly want to be as close as possible because it's not going to last long until he has to leave again.
Sitting next to someone:
nudge thempoke them
look into their eyes
blow on their ear
touch foreheadshold hands
kiss
touch legs
lean on
whispered chats
Sitting across:
long distance hand holding
"What did you say?"
sit next to your belongings, unnecessarily guarding them
kick your SO when you cross your legs
Yes, I created a totally biased list. But this blog was biased too, so I'm allowing mine. :)
I do like everything that you said about sitting across from each other...the reaching across the table for each other's hands, looking into each other's eyes, all that good stuff. When my fiance and I first started dating, that's how we always did it and I was totally fine with it. But he really likes to sit next to me when we go out to eat, and so that's usually what we do now, which I'm totally fine with too. His love language is physical touch, and he likes the closeness of sitting right next to each other more than across from each other, and I'm grateful that I have a guy who wants to be so close to me. So either way is fine with me, but anymore when we go out to eat, we almost always sit side-by-side.