Thursday, 07 April 2011
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Fall or Fail: Falling For Two of a Kind
You’re at a party and you meet a sweet guy, let’s call him Penn. Penn is funny, charming and adorable. You want to take him home and introduce him to mom immediately after you’re done sucking face. He asks for your phone number and you talk to him for a few days. He is great! He’s smart and makes you laugh.Then one day while you’re at the mall you run into Penn, but he’s with some other guy. He is just the right amount of tall with just the right amount of ripped arms. His shirt hugs his chest ever so lightly where you can get a nice idea about what his working with yet leaves just the right amount to the imagination. He’s wearing a backwards cap and a pair of cool shades.
As they both are walking towards you, you’re reciting every religious passage you’ve just made up praying that they might have just been walking at the same speed, down the same hall and just happen to have had something to talk about while on the same route towards you.
Shoot. You realize that they really do know each other. After Penn introduces you to his best friend, who he would do anything for at any time for the rest of their lives like he has since they were toddlers, you can’t keep your eyes off Ray. You’re eyes are just glued onto him like when you’re driving by a bad accident.
Penn notices but despite your better judgment you friend Ray of Facebook, Twitter and even the deserted MySpace anyway. Slowly, you begin ignoring Penn at parties and instead gravitate towards Ray. What are you supposed to do? You can’t help it!
Suddenly, you’re out with Ray… alone… on a date! Suddenly Ray was asking you out, picking you up and taking you to a movie. You’re not sure how this happened but you’re not about to start asking dumb questions—or are you?
“I hope I’m not getting in between you and Penn,” you say nobly expecting a shocked reaction and a don’t-be-ridiculous response.
“You’re not,” Ray says.
“Okay, I mean I really just want to make sure that I don’t cause a fight or anything,” you say; pushing onto the topic until you get the reaction you want.
“Uh, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t okay with Penn,” he responds making you feel foolish for even thinking that two long friends would waste their time fighting over a girl.
Instead of receiving the kiss you were hoping to get, you’re left walking to your doorstep feeling like the idiot you just displayed. If only you would’ve met Ray first or perhaps have not assumed, so selfishly that you can breakup a friendship.
This is all hypothetical, of course.
I don’t think there’s any way to salvage either relationship. Either you’re with Penn and you fight the urge to jump Ray’s bones or you choose to deal with the awkwardness every time you all hang out.
Have you ever had this problem: fall for two friends? And if so, could it be possible to save either relationship or is it just a situation waiting to fail?
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Comments (18)
nah this really has never happened to me. i usually have to get to know someone for a while before i'm even attracted to them, and it takes a lot more than just "hotter guy next to him" to break my mind soooo...no. seems like a whole fail situation.
I think this is so possible. Obviously Penn would have said something if he had a problem. Maybe he was talking to other girls at the same time. Maybe he was happy to pass on you to a different girl.
do they almost look like twin best friends? if so, I'd do them both and get the jumpy feeling over with:D after my identical twin threesome is fulfilled, I'm outta there j/k-sort of
anyway, I wouldn't jump any of their boners, because even if they say that it is okay, I think they still hold at least an ounce of jealousy and I wouldn't want to be that person to cause a rift in their best friendship.
In this situation, it sounds like the thing with Penn was neither long lasting, nor serious... so when Ray says it's okay with Penn... it probably is and you shouldn't feel awkward.
hypothetical. of course.
you could try a 3-some. though i don't think most guys would do a mfm, especially with their best friend.
I would stop talking to them both... apparently your confused about what you want and not telling the first guy you like his friend is being childish. I mean, I am sure he would be a little jealous but it's not like you were dating any way... at least not officially.
@raspbxrrryjam@xanga - I agree to an extent
If this situation happened, it would be terrible because the girl sounds like a shallow jerk. She liked Penn for his personality, yet she fell for Ray's looks. A situation like this would never happen to me because I'm not the type of girl to lead guys on and play see-saw between two best friends.
Now, if I was either Penn or Ray, I would never like a girl, who is supposedly in a relationship with Penn, yet falls for Ray's looks. She goes on to ignore Penn and goes on a date with Ray, which is disrespectful and such a jerk-like move. A girl like that is unappealing to me because if she could leave one guy in a minute and date a different guy, then I would think she can change her mind again in the future. It's too much of a risk to date her (she's a potential cheater/player).
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - One guy I was dating jokingly brought it up before and said his best friend was down if I ever wanted to have a threesome. The only conditions were their dicks wouldn't touch and his friend wasn't allowed to have sex with me. I told him they were weird and talking about it was the closest they would ever get to it happening :P
i remember i had a co worker to whose friend applied to work at the club we worked at. i didnt really notice the co worker but i noticed his friend. his friend was hot. i drooled over his friend every time i saw him. then the co worker started asking me out. i didnt think he was serious until a friend confirmed. then i started to really take a good look at this co worker. decided id give it a go, for a date. turned out that he and i dated for almost a year after that first date. yes his friend was always around, the guy i drooled over. and i still thought he was gorgeous despite the fact i was dating his friend. but as long as you dont act on such urges and realize theyre just attraction, its all good i think. you just cant deny that some people have that affect on you. mmhmm. speaking of threesomes these people before me mentioned, he brought up threesomes to me and i said only if it was with another guy. he volunteered his friend to be the other guy. needless to say he noticed my quick excitement to the idea of him so that threesome never happened. too bad.... would have been awesome. lol
@raspbxrrryjam@xanga - Very pretty much agreed
Choose one that you'd rather be with and develop a friendship with the other. Problem solved. Just make sure that you make the right choice...
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - This made me chuckle, because one of my male friends lost his v-plates this way and we will never let him live it down. We always joke about the Eiffel Tower, because they held hands above the girls head to stop themselves falling over. Lol. Shit gets me gigglin every time..
In said situation, I've always found it works best for me to simply just remain friends with them both. Dating is just awkward, and leaves the person almost feeling dishonest with themselves and trying to overcompensate. You know? That's just my experience talking, though.
<3, ~*Akarui Mitsukai*~
Okay I dated a guy for about 10 months and his best friend became one of my close guy friends. Let's call the exbf Ohio and his best buddy, Denver. Anyway, Denver and I were strictly platonic. Ohio had issues about communicating his feelings and even lying to avoid confronations, while I was starting feel doubt from being in a relationship with a non-communicator, so Denver helped shedding some major insight to Ohio's background (since Ohio never shared a great deal).
Anyway, Ohio and I broke up. I had to end it, it wasn't going anywhere and I was getting drained of any energy I had to keep fighting for our relationship as Ohio continued doom us. Denver and I wanted to remain the good friends we've become during the 10 month relationship Ohio and I had cultivated. Ohio and Denver said it would be great to happen WHILE the relationship was still ongoing, but once it ended, Denver said he couldn't "do" that to Ohio.
DO WHAT? HAVE A FRIEND WHO HAPPENED TO DATE YOUR BUDDY??
Although Ohio expressed that he was oKAY with Denver continuing his penpal-friendship with me, Denver said he couldn't hurt Ohio that way. Whatever, I got over it, except I felt left out. Denver and I never really flirted--I'm very good about that and Denver also shared a belief that he never wants to have kids which also led to my relationship with Ohio crash and burn--and we were friends from the start. So even when I KNEW Ohio would have been hurt but eventually be okay with our friendship, when Denver said "no, I can't do that to him" i felt... taken advantage of!!! ARGHHH...
Anyway, I don't think I ever FELL this way for two buddies... in a romantic kind of way. And if they were friends since they were in diapers, it's ridiculous to think they'd let a random girl break that sort of friendship apart.
“Okay, I mean I really just want to make sure that I don’t cause a fight or anything,” you say; pushing onto the topic until you get the reaction you want.
I'm confused - What reaction did you want?
He said you weren't causing a problem. Not to mention that you made out with the first guy, you didn't actually date him. It sounds like you didn't even talk again after you made out with him, which is kind of hilarious.If it were me, I would date the hot one and only be friends with the other one. Relationships need chemistry. I know better now after being in a similar situation with two girls, one hot and one not.