Wednesday, 06 April 2011
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Foreplay or Foolishness?
To all y'all who are in a relationship:Have you ever considered arriving at a bar or party separately from your SO, spending the whole night flirting with strangers while eyeing each other across the room, all the while knowing that at the end of the night, you two will go home together?
I think one of the things that can get lost when you're with someone for so long is that separate entity-ness; the reminder that they could just as easily be with someone else. I imagine that seeing your SO as a free agent, and watching other sexy people respond to them as though they actually ARE a free agent, could be a most incredible form of foreplay.
Then again, the potential exists for it to go horribly wrong. Which is why I'm putting this out there.
Would you ever try this? Why or why not?
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- From: ThatBirdisAbsurd
- About Me: I just moved to New York after studying and living abroad for five years in Canada, Europe and India. One amazing thing about being back in America: knowing EXACTLY how to say what you want to say, RIGHT when you want to say it. English makes dating a lot easier.
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Comments (34)
I wouldnt because I dont want him talking to other woman and I'm 100% positive he feels the same way about me talking to men. I would see it as a complete turn off instead of foreplay.
Isn't that the beginning of a movie?
I would never want to do that. We're already in a long distance relationship and we both know that we get approached by people all the time. The last thing I want to do is to have to see it. I already get jealous just knowing about it.
Four Christmases, maybe? Something with Vince Vaughn in it.. Now that's totes gonna bug me.
@Grtt@xanga - yea Four Christmas!
My SO & I talked about this and we WANT to do it but never did it because he knows that i would be extremely jealous (even though I say I won't be & I know I will be) and I would be sad afterward...
No. Never. I might as well be single instead of in a relationship, if I wanted to do that.
i think itd be hot!! and knowing hes attractive to other girls, even hotter. unless i couldnt trust him..but then why date him? i think its hot, can help in bed, and if you have a true, good relationship, you shouldnt have to worry about trust.
jealousy and trust issues shouldnt be in a relationship. as soon as i notice those tendencies, im outtie. A- no mans eveer tried to fix em, and B i doubt they could. C- i WONT wait for the anger, jealousy, and abuse that comes with it.
if your sleeping with someoneone, imo, you should be able to trust them, or what are you doing with them? just like cheating, why cheat and be trapped in something you dont like, when you could be free, specially int his age.
@prettykay04@xanga - Whew, thanks! I was about to dig through all my DVDs, lol.
foolishness.
@missnihkii@xanga - I like it better when it's not planned, and just kinda ...happens. THAT'S hot. (I feel so stupid saying those two words together thanks to Paris Hilton, but it is!)
I've never intentionally done that, but accidentally yeah, I guess... Sounds like a great threesome-partner-finding strategy.
What could go horribly wrong? I suppose a particularly drunk person could kiss your partner, but without their consent, it's not cheating and it's not a horribly wrong ending. Just funny and kind of awkward. It's not like you two are breaking hearts here, just disappointing your temporary suitors, which happens are bars all the time.
I'd say go ahead--and then tell us how it goes.
@Grtt@xanga - oh i know! thats the best! ive never done this. i flirted once with a cashier that id NEVER see again, and my ex was a douche who was always jealous( EVEN OF LIBRARY) and i learned my lesson lol
i really wanna try this :P. i have the self confidence i need to know that my man wouldnt cheat on me. plus what man would go home or do something while knowing his giirls there? gotta be pretty stupid, which reinforces my " if theyre gonna do it, better tobe away from them" theory
and i know, better watch out she patented thats hot!
i feel weird saying it too.
I think that is just asking for trouble.
This reminds me of Blair and Chuck when they did something like this :)
That's not for me. I'm completely comfortable with him talking to other girls, but I wouldn't find that particularly attractive...it wouldn't make me want him anymore at the end of the night. Also, I do agree with those who've said it's asking for trouble - people will read too much into things, people will get jealous, and I think it'll just cause more trouble than it's worth.
@CupncakeLozer@xanga - This sounds a little like overkill to me. Do you not have any male friends?? Does he not have any female friends? How can you restrict each others lives so much, when you are still your own people?
I would never do this intentionally just to get a rise out of it, but the concept behind it - that you are your own entities - is a very good one. Couples should cherish "me" time and I think it would work...but only in a situation like "yeah, I'll meet you AT the party".
My boyfriend and I trust each other completely, so this may be interesting. Although, not for too long because we'd both want to be with each other anyway. The teasing and eye-flirting would be foreplay, I guess.
I wouldn't want to try that. I have enough of a jealous side that this would make me uncomfortable, and I would feel weird hitting on someone else when I was out with my SO, if I had one.
@wildchildofthebluemoon@xanga - We dont own one another but as for what we dont feel comfortable doing this is one of those things. I just dont see it being foreplay when we are flirting with other people and not one another just seems really pointless. So NO i do not see it as Harsh. I guess to each their own.
it sounds like fun at the expense of other peoples' feelings, because if it happened, it would probably go something like this: we flirt with other people and make them think we are interested, so they are excited because they think we will go home with them later for sex when it ain't happening because my bf interrupts and we go into a heavy makeout session right in front of the guy I'm hypothetically talking to if this happened and rub it in his face that we are actually a couple very much interested in each other, then the innnocent guy feels awkward and betrayed that he was strung along or vice versa and I interrupt the girl, who is flirting with my bf and I show her what's up
seems like fun but will probably cause physical fights by the unaware third party
besides I don't go to nightclub/bars often for the right scene to make this dramatic foreplay thing happen.
Sounds like a fun thing to do.. if you aren't married, perhaps. Plus, I think I would smack a b*tch if some girl were to even playfully touch my husband on the arm.. haha ;) I like him all to myself.
Lol what. This makes like zero sense.
Not the sort of thing that would turn me on.
there's nothing wrong with flirting, so long as that's as far as it goes and your SO is okay with it. i personally don't care whomever mine talks to or flirts with, it only matters that he doesn't touch anyone and comes home to me.