Thursday, 31 March 2011
-
Tips from a Sexual Predator: Body Language
Allow me to qualify the title of this post by saying that I am not really a sexual predator (in the immediate sense of the word), nor do I condone approaching relationships in the manner of predator/prey. I believe first and foremost that sex and relationships are about mutual respect and honest communication.
With that said, I will admit that there was a time in my young life (before heartbreak made me more human) when I was so well-versed in playing the games that guys respond to that my friends affectionately referred to me as a sexual predator. For her birthday one year one of these friends requested, only half-jokingly, that I write a book entitled "How to be a Sexual Predator"... which I did. (It was illustrated.)
That was a long time ago, but the truth is that sometimes you gotta play the game to get past the game. And too often, it seems that men are the only ones who are comfortable playing. So, to all you ladies out there for whom the male attention span remains a mystery, I'll attempt in this series to offer strategies for how to capture, gauge and maintain it.This installment will cover Body Language. Humans say so much without saying anything, it's incredible. And yet, our obsession with language often distracts us into missing the bigger picture.
If I am standing and talking to a guy, and I suddenly become aware that my body is fully facing him while his body is facing to my left or right and just his head is turned toward me, here is something I will do to gauge how interested he really is in me and in our conversation: I will finish the thing I am saying, allow him to start responding, and as he speaks I will slowly, casually turn my body to face the rest of the room, perhaps while briefly glancing across the room and taking a sip of my drink (thereby opening up my field of attention), while still actively listening to what he says (nodding/frowning/laughing/maintaining eye contact) to show that I am still interested.
If he follows my lead by turning his body to face mine, I know he's really into me. If he doesn't: mild to medium interest is still possible, but I don't have his full attention. Boredom might be looming.As an aside, this is hilarious to do and witness consciously, because his reaction will be subconscious. While you are aware of what you're doing, it is imperative to do it causally, as though you are simply honoring your own subconscious impulse to open your field of attention to the world outside of him. If he likes you, his body follows yours because he subconsciously wants to recapture your full attention.
Next time you find yourself in this situation, give it a try and notice how the balance of power shifts when he follows you. Just remember: body language is animalistic, so don't over think it.
Are you aware of what you say with your body? Do you have questions, suggestions or stories? Share them below!
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: ThatBirdisAbsurd
- About Me: I just moved to New York after studying and living abroad for five years in Canada, Europe and India. One amazing thing about being back in America: knowing EXACTLY how to say what you want to say, RIGHT when you want to say it. English makes dating a lot easier.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 99 Views: 0 292154 Comments: 0 2532 View all posts by ThatBirdisAbsurd
Comments (26)
They say when a woman touches her neck or exposes her neck more than usual, she's into the guy. I don't know if I do that or not.
I tend to sit just ever so slightly closer than social norms dictate, and see what happens from there.
I'm usually really clueless about this kind of thing...
First I think using that title was a lil more than a tad misleading, but hey, it worked!
second... lots of people pick up on body language whether they know it or not, it's absorbed subconsciously. Some people are really good at it, I'm great with it :P
BUT... people who don't get body language just wont, no matter how hard you drill them on it, just because awareness is one of those things that has to come about naturally. Cant turn a turtle into a shark lol
I've never intentionally picked up guys at night clubs/bars. I usually let my clothes seduce their senses
then I dance and tease them. lucky for them, I can't dance, not that anybody cares, and the only move I know is the shakira hip gyrating thing
if the guy is very cute, I get nervous and can't really look him in the eye even though I really want to
so he thinks I'm not interested when I am but I tend to suddenly become like a shy schoolgirl lol
Yes, the title is VERY misleading, esp. since I thought it was tips to AVOID a sexual predator.
Anyway, this isn't that big of a shock. After all, people mirror each other in expression, sitting position and word choice. Don't you notice how many couples start using each other's catch phrases, dress similarly in a certain aspects of fashion or colours, and mimic each other's favourite hobby or activies?
I don't do it on purpose, but my eyes tend to wander to scan the room, every now and then... whether I'm with my friends, family or my boyfriend. I catch everything they say, even the gestures they make with my peripheral vision, but most people are aware that I do this, so they don't get provoked to mirror my body language.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - Yep, I agree. I have no idea how this works. I am apparently either "desperate" or completely "not interested" and I have no idea how or why. I might just wear a badge saying "lets talk LIKE ROBOTS" *Darlick voice*.........................
Dont know where that came from..........................I've also heard that a person usually unconsciously points their feet toward the person they find most interesting. Yes, sometimes it is just a case of "well, the feet have to point SOMEWHERE..." but if you're interested in someone, look at their feet and see which way they point. If it's toward you, you might have a chance. If it's toward someone else...don't get your hopes up!
Interesting post!
haha, the book sounds fantastic!
I'll try this next time:)
Just throw them some Blue Steel and you're golden..
And I do it all with my eyes. I dress conservatively because of my family’s religion so I know it’s just the looks I’m giving.
Strangely, I'm disappointed I didn't just receive tips from an actual sexual predator.
@LogicalFallaciesXx@xanga - Crossing my fingers for Zoolander 2.
Is it weird if I kind of want a copy of that book? The illustrations have tempted me too far.
@Footballblogs@xanga - I'd so join in you in that. Except I'd have to be a cybermen =P
@niceBrice@xanga - I want that movie to come out so bad! YES!
@Hinase@xanga - Lol for sure.... lets create our own body language where we just stand there and occassionally turn out head sharply to the right or left and cry "WILL YOU SLEEP WITH ME" or "I AM NOT INTERESTED" in a Darlick voice.... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I am deffo doing this at halloween :D
Here's some body language for you: Full erection- I want to enter you and make a mess somewhere in or on your person, but it a gentlemanly fashion. Semi-erection- I could possibly talk and/or drink myself into sleeping with you, but it wouldn't be as pretty. Complete flaccidity- I'd let you make me a sandwich.
I can tell a little bit with body language but i wouldn't know how to represent myself.
What would be really amusing is watching two people try to manipulate each other through body language.
Orange mocha frappuccino! Poor Meekus.
@mdongivin@mancouch - i didn't realise there was a gentlemanly way to make a mess on someone's person. Clearly I'm missing out!!
@tofloataway@xanga - Yeah, it's called throw them a towel. Haha. Clearly.
LOL. How about I do that move subconsciously? I'm just a really excellent judge of body language and unspoken words. I catch micro-expressions and decipher them without meaning to, that's how I know if someone lies to me or not. For me, what you describe is pretty effortless. My friends tell me I'm fun to watch :)
Another observation: the guy will mimic your actions from time to time. I've caught several shifting how they sit or stand to match me.
@Footballblogs@xanga - Then I must practice in my Dalek voice! That would be so awesome! I wanna do it now. Hahaha
I would like to be a sexual predator , because I love the body language because the women use it , for example I have a tip , it is the use of Viagra no prescription.. this information is really interesting.