I'm either re-realizing the world's obsession with love or it's just the people I find myself around these days, but most people seem to want it. Finding love is an ultimate fulfillment in life, to find "the one" and be together until death do us part. That's swell and all, but this obsession affects all ages; so,
what's the point in trying/beginning to find love at a young age?
Quick Note: The average person gets married before 30, has their first child before 30, starts dating in high school and lives to be 78 (in the U.S. according to Wikipedia.org).
If we have 78 years to live, why can't we hold off on love, marriage, kids, etc.? The average can be changed to 30-something, possibly even 40+; Or is this because love is the ultimate fulfillment (and maybe the idea of being 60 when your kid graduates high school isn't ideal for you)?
Were The Beatles onto something with, "All You Need Is Love"? And is it general love (love received from friends and family) or love (xoxo) that we need? If it's the love of ultimate fulfillment (xoxo), what's wrong with only having general love?
This view can be interpreted in a few ways. I myself have views and feelings that fall on both side of the spectrum, but it's a thought I've had since high school. I have yet to experience love, which means I don't know if people can hold off on it. This leaves me to ask one last thing:
The proverb, "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Is it true or false? I haven't had the opportunity to experience love, so I can't say.
Recommend
Comments (20)
I agree with this statement because while my past relationships didn't work out, and many of them were bad for me, I still learned vital things in each one. Each failed relationship I've had made me who I am in a relationship today.
I've only been in love once, but yes, I do believe it's better to have been able to experience love than to never love anyone at all.
As far as love being all we need? No, probably not, but I agree that having someone to love who loves you back makes life a little more worth living. As much as you can find happiness in bettering yourself (working towards a career goal, certain hobbies, etc.), it's always much more fulfilling to be able to have someone to share that with. I don't think love is a necessity for all people, but I'm one of those people who thrive off human connection and it's a big part of my life.
"If we have 78 years to live, why can't we hold off on love, marriage, kids, etc.?"
I met my wife in high school. I was 17 she was 16, and I can be completely honest and say that I knew she was the one for me the first time our eyes met. Some people (like myself), find that special someone early in their lives. That's just what happens sometimes, and I must say, I can't even fathom living the last 11 years of my life without her.
@justXforXyou_beautiful@xanga - Agreed.
@Happily_Married_Man@xanga - Admirable:)"If we have 78 years to live, why can't we hold off on love, marriage, kids, etc.?"
Why would you want to?
"If we have 78 years to live, why can't we hold off on love, marriage, kids, etc.?"
78 years to live, but only ~40 years until the risk of having children with birth defects goes way up, and only ~50-55 years until menopause.
@Happily_Married_Man@xanga - awww :)
@the_88th_key@xanga - Agreed.
i love the beatles.
I met my boyfriend when he was 19 and I was almost 18. I would not want to change falling in love with him for anything. It's not worth waiting and 'experiencing' life more. He, in himself, is a big experience for me. I wouldn't mind waiting to have kids until I'm in my late twenties, but I do want kids before I'm 30 because the risk of birth defects heavily increases when you're 30. Compared to like the 1800's, most people do wait awhile before getting married and having kids. Some countries, fifteen year olds get married and are having babies. So, getting married young is a kind of relative term when you put it in the case of the whole world. Every country and culture is different.
You can, of course, wait on finding love. People find it at all points in their life, but if you find it when you're young, why would you risk letting it go? My boyfriend and I broke up for six months back in 2008, in which I realized that as heartbroken as I was, I would never regret having him in my life so I do agree with the 'it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'. We got back in touch beginning of 2009 though and have been together since and there's no chance in hell I'd let him go without a fight. I think there is a big thing behind 'all you need is love' in the romantic sense.
Love has a broad meaning though. It can be true that "all you need is love" - family love, friendship love, pet-love.... love for food lol. It doesn't have to be like guy-girl love
@justXforXyou_beautiful@xanga - Agreed
and
@ohveryoung@xanga - Agreed
OP: Obtaining love is not everything but it does make life a little bit happier and easier. I know that I've learnt things by past relationships and through break ups and even love from family members. Though love is quite board to say the least. I know there are tons of different kinds of love and each of them helps me along the way, and makes me believe in myself when I need it. I think there is no set age to having kids or getting married, people want to do it when they want. You shouldn't have to wait, if you don't want to.
That proverb is true. I have been in love a few times (as well as of course, experienced love with family and friends and such) and even the relationships that went bad still enriched my life because they taught me something or changed me in some way that deepened me personally.
"ALL you need is love" is crap, though. I need WAY more than love to make me happy in life. It's never been my primary goal to find the perfect mate and spawn children or anything; that can come in due time. Life has way more to offer than just that.
Love is important, but I think it's more important in terms of family and friend love.
Romantic love is overrated.
Ummmm....in terms of kids you can't (actually I say, it is highly recommended that you SHOULDN'T) really dick around and wait until you're in your forties because, you know, a woman's fertility rate drops significantly after she reaches the age of 35 and the chance of issues during pregnancy skyrocket.
Most women are actually most fertile at about the age of 25. By the time 30+ you actually increase the risk of health/mental-related complications upon birth and as the kid grows up. Ever think that maybe the fact that most people want to find "love" at around the age of 20-30 is a result of a biological clock?
this website is very good, you can go and see it
http://www.shoes4world.com/
@krissymareexo@xanga - me too. their music is timeless
No reason to wait on love if it comes to you. However, it is definitely NOT all you need. It makes every day brighter and everything percents easier, but it's not all you need.
As far as children, past 40 for women the rate of miscarriage and birth defects is way way higher, but adopting a child would be an option as well as adopting an older child (say, a 10 year old) so that you are still around to care for them when they're in their twenties as well is also doable.
I think every love is different, why not experience what you can until you find your match. :D
vote please http://www.wyzant.com/scholarships/v1/essay6613_Scottdale-PA.aspx
it's not spam; it is a scholarship essay.
A lot of mentioned that it isn't safe to have children at an older age and that fact never really occured to me as my mom was a month short of her 40th birthday when she had me, she said there was no pregnancy scares when she was pregnant. But if that's the case, that there are risks then it makes sense for people wanting to start off younger.