Wednesday, 30 March 2011
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Love Complex: The Risk of Getting Hurt
Out of my 12 relationships, I've never had one last more than 6 months. When I was younger, I used to think there was something wrong with me. All my relationships ended with me stopping it before he did anything wrong. I would end it out of the blue because my heart started closing off.Looking back, I guess it was because I was afraid of getting hurt and afraid of falling in love. My friends who were in relationships were always complaining to me about things their boyfriends did or didn't do. Such petty problems would come up making me question whether this relationship stuff was really worth it.
When I was 16, I had my first boyfriend. As soon as we got together all my friends started warning me about him. They told me he has a short attention span and that he's not the kind of guy that does serious relationships. I told them that I know all that and I just wanted something casual with him anyways. When he dumped me a month later it actually hit me quite hard and I couldn't sleep properly for a week. It was because despite what I told myself, I had actually developed feelings for him and resulted in getting hurt.
He's not worth any of that but I guess he's the reason why I was such a commitment-phobe for so long. I haven't been in a relationship for almost 3 years now, if given the chance again, I'd like to think I can overcome this. I'm 21 now and I would like to think I'm much more emotionally stable too.
I want to fall in love. And if I do get hurt by the end of it all at least I can tell myself that I made an effort and I tried, because if I just let another happy moment pass me by, what life is there worth living?
Do you think relationships are worth having? Is the risk of getting hurt worth it?
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About the Author
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- From: dwamaa@xanga
- Name: dwamaa
- About Me: A horrible person that somehow still manages to live with herself.
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Comments (19)
u always risk getting hurt by a man
I think relationships are worth it. If relationships aren't worth it to YOU then don't pursue any, but you're cheating yourself out of getting close to people........getting hurt sometimes is part of the process of growing up and learning about yourself. How can you grow if you don't know love, commitment, rejection, fear?
And trust me on this, the feelings you developed for that guy who dumped you when you were SIXTEEN are nothing compared to the love that you can have for someone when you're in your twenties. Love changes as you grow up, and how you love someone when you're 16 will change when you're 23, I say that alll the time and I absolutely mean it. Get out there and experience life! If you get dumped, just get back on the horse once you're ready and meet someone else!
Truly living and loving all have risks. In the end, it's worth it. It always is.
@cubancutiepie@xanga - Agreed
Relationships are definitely worth it, yes, you may get hurt, but you have to learn to be strong, pick yourself up, and move on :)
Yes. You may get hurt, but you may have the time of your life. Worth the risk? Absolutely.
The relationship may end, but you'll come out knowing more about yourself and what you want.
But I'd say don't just jump into one an hope something comes from it. Make sure the person is worth investing time in.
relationships are worth it. life is all about getting hurt but we just live with it and deal with it.
Both my exes hurt me deeply, but they've taught me lessons and given me experiences I couldn't have gained otherwise. There were a lot of negatives from being with them, but I try to take the positives with me when those relationships ended. You have to give a little to take a little.
it's better than living forever without feeling anything.
You're only 21 don't stress
@thesexydevilgirl@xanga - I agree and it's so true!!!
when you're recovering from a heartbreak? no. but when you find "the one", then your journey was worth it.
Yes. Although some relationships may not be remembered as the happiest moments of our lives, those are the ones - the ones that left us crying for days and nights - that we will learn the most from and remember forever.
Fortunately, not all relationships end horribly, and I think it's about time for you to overcome you fears and give it another chance. Like you said, it's better to at least try and get hurt rather than adamantly stand on the side. You already know what to do, so go on and do it! :)
Everything involves taking risks, including relationships. Although a few of my exs deeply hurt me, I wouldn't trade the happiness and pain for anything in the world. With each unsuccessful relationship, it gets you closer to your ideal one.
It's like that quote, "everyone will hurt you, you just have to figure out which ones are worth getting hurt for" because no one is perfect, and everyone will always let you down, whether a big letdown or small, it depends on the person. It can be worth it, for sure. I have endured lots of pain and horrible events to stay with someone that mattered enough to me. It's all a personal thing, it depends on how much you're willing to take, and some people do grow and change with age and will become a person who is less likely to hurt you. I would never suggest not dating and putting yourself out there just because of the potential to get hurt - if you did that, you would also miss out on so many good times, so many great feelings, so many learning experiences.
Relationships are worth it. Even if they end, you learned something.
I kind of have the opposite problem that you have. I stay in a relationship long after I know it's wrong. I will start having doubts, but give so many excuses to not leave. Doing that in my past 2 serious relationships though, I've learned a lot. So yes, you may end up getting hurt or hurting someone else, but you will always learn.
@writemyheartt@xanga - ditto.
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http://www.shoes4world.com/
They're not worth it for guys. That much is true.
Don't pay so much attention to your friends' relationships.