Wednesday, 30 March 2011

• Friend-Zoned - Now What?

  
  The past few weeks have been quite an adventure. I've been making new friends and enjoying myself... and attempting to emotionally connect with the opposite sex. As of lately, however, I've been noticing myself slipping into the dreaded friend zone. I'm very picky when it comes to the type of guy I like, and when I do someone who's worth my interest, I end up going after them... but I take my time. I'm not sure if this becomes an issue, though... since taking too much time may cause my pursuit of interest to believe I'm uninterested. I've been thinking about my current situation and I'm not really sure how to deal with it.  

  There is a male in my program I've actually liked since last semester and he's very quiet. He's very tall, Chinese, intelligent, and he's interested in fitness, as I am. He's also in my major and aspires to go to graduate school to become a dentist. I didn't pursue him last semester since I was dating someone else, but we would make small chat once in a while and our conversations would be light and airy.

  It was a pleasant feeling to speak to the only other Asian in my class, even though he was very shy. I would try to find out bits and pieces of information about him, but since he always kept to himself, I wouldn't really find out much. This semester, we've gotten even closer because his friend and I are friends and we always study together. I also pick him up from the train station every Tuesday and Thursday to take him to school.

  Yesterday, I even left work early to pick him up from school to take him back to the train station. We ended up talking about relationships... and to make a long story short, I told him I liked him. He already knew since our mutual friend told him I liked him one evening, and he told him I was cute. His response was, "I think we should be friends.  ::pinky swear::  It's not you - I think I'm just very comfortable with how I'm living right now and I don't know if I can change... but sometimes, I think of "what could have been" since I've had so many missed opportunities." 

  BAM. Friend zoned. I told him I didn't care, but it made me wonder why. Here's what I came up with:

  • He likes someone else - This isn't possible because he told me about a Japanese girl he liked and he told me he hates her now. He thinks she's annoying and he just wanted to move on from her since she really doesn't have respect for him when he asks her to listen during a conversation.
  • He is busy - This is a viable excuse for me because I know how it feels to be busy. I'm always running around and doing work, so I can see him studying for his DATs. We've both got a full course load this semester, and he's got 21 credits... one more credit than me.  
  • He has no interest in me - I thought about this, but he told me I was very attractive and nice. He wonders why I always go out of the way for my friends, no matter how inconvenient it may be for myself. I suppose he's never really met someone who actually has given him this type of attention.  
  • His friend likes me - This may be a big factor, since his friend has a crush on me. However, I told this other individual I only wanted to be friends with him because I am busy, after all. I suppose I put him in the friend zone too, and he knows I have a big crush on Mr. Chinese. I think Mr. C believes that if he steps away from the current situation, I will end up going out with his friend, but I don't feel that way about him.  
  • He is comfortable with how his life currently is - I've heard this all before from Mr. Prestigious, or my last ex. The only thing I have to argue about with this is that I'm not a high maintenance type of girl. I am very independent and I'm usually very understanding and flexible with scheduling... especially since I am busy as well.  
  • He is inexperienced - He told me the only female he really liked had given him interest a few years back and by the time he was going to ask her out, he waited too long because he found her in the library locking lips with another guy. I wouldn't deny that he doesn't know how to have a girlfriend, but it's always a learning experience. It all depends if he wants to take me up on the offer.

  Gosh. I really don't know what to do right now. I am not heartbroken and not too phased by this situation, since there are other guys out there, but that doesn't mean I don't wonder if he will end up liking me. I believe I have a few good things to offer, despite my constant witty personality, dripping with sarcasm....

  What should I do now?

  Image Source

  • 4:00 PM
  • 5405 Views
  • 44 eProps
  • 25 Comments