Tuesday, 29 March 2011
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To Ballroom, or Not to Ballroom?
I've been actively job searching lately and haven't been lucky with any positions, but I finally got an interview on Saturday for a ballroom dance instructor position. Now, I've never actually done ballroom, but the ad said they would train you for it as long as you have a dance background. I do have a heavy dance background in modern, jazz, ballet, hip-hop, African, break dance etc. So we'll see how it goes.BUT, here's the sitch: I've never danced with anyone other than my husband during our whole relationship.Ballroom dancing will require me to partner up with somebody else. My hubby fully trusts me, but is pretty uncomfortable about the whole thing. He just doesn't want other guys touching me, but understands my passion for the art of dance and doesn't want to pull me away from my dreams.
I have to admit, I'm not sure about how I feel about that. If I were to land this position and get trained in ballroom dance, I would have to be in very close proximity with other members of the opposite sex. While I know in my head that my motivations for any type of dance are purely for enjoyment and expression of the art form and mastering complex fine motor movements, I just haven't made up my mind about how I feel about this kind of position.
My husband is jealous for me; and you know what, I love that about him. When we've been out dancing he really doesn't like it when other guys ask me to dance. I always say no to them, but still it's like mentally my husband is like, "get away from her, she's mine, I love her." To tell you the truth, I would probably go red if some obnoxious girl came up to my husband and asked him to dance. I'd be all like, "um excuse me... he's mine."
So what do you think I should do? Cancel the interview or still go for it? What would you do if you were me?
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- From: DavesBride@xanga
- Name: DavesBride
- About Me: 1/16/11 - Newly wed! My life as a new wife.
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Comments (12)
Don't give up your dream because of this. You and your husband both understand it's an art form, and something you love doing. He should be able to support you on it, and you shouldn't be willing to give that up for a silly reason.
If you cant handle the idea of being in close proximity to members of the opposite sex, dont apply for a job where you are forced to be. Which is more important to you, your and your husbands mutual jealousy or your love for art and dance?
Fyi, Im not judging you, my ex is obsessed with ballroom dance and is surrounded by gorgeous women all the time, and I found myself jealous and insecure as well. It all comes down to what you want more.
That's entirely up to you, quite frankly. If you're having second thoughts, perhaps you shouldn't take this opportunity. That said, as someone who does social dancing all the time, I will say that I find it to be not that big of a deal, thought it was when I started.
However, I will say this: it does get easier overtime. I know from my experience as a Lindy Hopper. I dance an average of two sessions of Lindy Hop a week, and I teach a little bit on the side (not like a full-time professional instructor, just a few group/individual lessons here and there for a little extra cash). That said, swing is more of a social dance where pretty much everyone dances with everyone else (married people dance with people other than their spouse all the time, and I can't count the number of married women I've danced with, including a few of my teachers). I don't really have any experience in ballroom, but from what I understand it's a lot more rigid and formal than swing.
Keep in mind though, that it's just dance, and dance is what you make out of it. It's perfectly reasonable to approach dance as merely an artform and a social thing, and dancing with someone other than the person you're married to doesn't mean you're cheating. It's just you having fun and mingling with others.
In that light, I say if you really do enjoy dance, go for it. The uneasiness will subside the more you do it. Trust me, I know from experience.
@JulesCaesar@xanga -
If you cant handle the idea of being in close proximity to members of the opposite sex, dont apply for a job where you are forced to be.Agreed.
@justXforXyou_beautiful@xanga - Agreed
You said you've never done ballroom dance before. Then later, you said that your husband doesn't want to pull you away from your dreams. Is ballroom dance really your dream? Or is it just a job? Because if it's your dream and your calling in life and there's nothing you want more than to be a ballroom dance instructor, then it might be worth dealing with the difficulties. But if it's just something to do, and you know that your husband won't like it, and it will make you uncomfortable, and you wouldn't want him doing it if the tables were turned...well...continuing to look for a different job might be a better choice.
If you take the job, he is going to be uncomfortable about what you're doing at least once every day that you go to work. Is it worth it?
You want to be a professional ballroom dancer? Be a professional about it then, and expect other dancers to be the same. If they ain't, you got laws protecting you n' such. If it is an issue for you and/or your husband, perhaps you should try another career path.
I totally understand how you feel. I'm about to get married this summer to my high school sweetheart and he's the only guy I've ever danced with and I think I would feel weird about dancing with someone else too. and I know he would be jealous if I would dance with anyone else too. But whether or not you should go for it or not.. idk I guess it's up to you. If you are questioning it this much and having it bother you, I would say probably don't do it, but if you know you will regret it if you don't do it, then I guess go for it
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what kind of ballroom would you be teaching? because the different dances vary in their contact. Example
1. Foxtrot and waltzes are very formal and holding the other person at a good distance. Very platonic.
2. Tangos get very close and intimate at times. Not so platonic.
But that's just an example, so figure out what you're teaching.
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