Sunday, 27 March 2011
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To Sex, or Not to Sex
A month ago or so this random guy from my university sent me a Facebook message. I of course, asked who he was and he asked if I lived in one of the freshmen buildings, I replied I used to live there and now live in a different dorm.I learned that he just transferred in and hasn't met that many people. So after a while, he asked for my number and I gave it to him, thinking he was a cool guy. So we met up yesterday and watched a movie. During the movie there were the "get to know" questions. I put lotion on earlier, and of course, I forgot it was the seductive smell.
He eventually touched my hand and said it's soft and said the lotion smells good. And of course, one thing led to another and we ended up making out... From kissing to second based. I eventually stopped him to tell him that I don't have sex on the first meeting, he said he didn't expect me to.
A part of me wanted to just have sex, but my brain was like, "no, he doesn't have a condom probably, and he's an idiot." But yea, the dude doesn't know where Europe is and that Brazil's language is Portuguese. That was a total turn off.
But anyways back to my story, he kept trying to get me to agree to have sex with him, not verbally, but seductively. Believe me I was really tempted. A part of me wants to never speak to this guy again and another part wants me to keep him for a quick booty call, of course, when I have the condoms.
This guy really turned me on, so I don't know yet what I want. I want to have sex, but a part of me is worried I would feel guilty. So to booty call him or refrain from all sorts of contact with him is the question.
Advice?
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About the Author
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- From: passionate_kisses579@xanga
- About Me: I'm a college girl who's trying to find the right path in life. I'm a hard working person who doesn't mind a challenge. I'm also caring, but I don't like anyone disrespecting me or my friends. I used to be shy, but now I'm more outgoing and outspoken.
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Comments (72)
As long as you stay safe (in all forms, sexually, physically, and emotionally) there's nothing wrong at all with a quick booty call. As long as you can insulate yourself from developing feelings, and never, EVER lead the other person on. Even with all this, there are sometimes complications, but in my experience every relationship has that risk.
Date him and have sex without guilt? Or don't date him but use him for booty-calls with protections (but let him know your intent first)?
Pick one. The more you think about the matter, the more complicated it gets.
It seems like you aren't entirely sure about having sex and since that..you shouldn't force yourself to. If he really didn't expect you to have sex, he shouldn't of tempted you a bit. He should of dropped it.. But if you don't want to, don't force yourself.
I HEAR YA SO MUCH... thats like every convo in my brain at ALLL times. to sex or not to sex.... i always pick to not... hence, me being COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DEPRIVED.....
So you say the guy is a tool but you want to hook up just because he's attractive? If you're really worried about the guilt maybe you can find a guy who's interesting and... worthwhile? You can probably ignore me, I'm doing the whole, "I just got dumped, downward spiral, woman is the enemy" thing right now.
@Mr_Gnome@xanga - @Hinase@xanga - i agree with both of you.
Glad I could help if at all. I feel like I'm a few days in the future and opposite of your story. I had a booty call last night, and we went to breakfast this morning. I think it was when we were sitting across from eachother and had nothing to say to eachother because I wasn't feeling very talky, and when she said anything I just didn't care. It was pretty much a mistake to involve myself with this person again.
There's nothing wrong with a little casual sex once in a while. What was the lotion??
if he is that easy and quickly hints at a bootycall, then I'd usually be thinking how many others have he bootycalled. even if he used protection with these other females, it doesn't seem clean to me, because how many other guys did these females hookup with or gave bjs to, then she kissed him and if I makeout with him a day after he kissed her, then liquid transfer orgy
it isn't that bad, but this is how I talk myself out of hooking up with random sleazy easys. to each their own I prefer to give all my sexiness to one super hot guy that I have steady feelings for.
eenie meenie minie moe...haha
sorry. couldn't resist id like to say id pass that up. but i probably wouldn't as long as there was condom and you were both very clear that it was a booty call, not a date. buuuttt....if he's that easy, how many others has he been with? O_O that'd be a turnoff to me.
If you are able enjoy sex without an emotional attachment, aren’t involved with anyone right now, and know how to be sexually safe, a booty call can be a fun, guilt-free thing. You should only feel guilty if you’ve done something wrong. So long as both parties have an understanding and agreement of what it is the other wants, casual sex can be very enjoyable.
But also, it depends on how comfortable you are with yourself. If the idea of having a one-night-stand makes you uncomfortable, don’t force yourself. If you do, you probably won’t enjoy it anyways and you’ll definitely regret afterwards.The fact that you're feeling apprehensive about acting on your desires, goes to show that you should probably follow your intuition. If you don't feel right about it, don't pursue it. There are plenty of other guys out there are "just-for-sex" worthy. Don't feel so stuck and indecisive about this particular guy.
And, it also seems as though intellectual stimulation is important to you whether you're in it just for sex or not. If he doesn't fit the mold, keep it moving and don't even bother with him.
i don't think you should do it. it might not end well.
I didn't know that Brazil's language is Portuguese. Oh well. lol
save yourself the guilt and don't contact him again.
Damn. He didn't know where Europe was? I would've already been so turned off that I'd end the date. just saying. I knew a guy that thought Africa was the continent below North America and that Africa was South America.
If you were to ever initiate contact with this guy again I would only say that it's okay if you established ground rules. You can take control and tell him you're not into him emotionally but we're obviously into each other sexually so let's take advantage of that. So basically establishing a friends with benefits sort of situation. You'd really have to be confident in your abilities to maintain that role. But otherwise I think it's fine, and when you mark the relationship as being the one in power it can be a great thing, that way if afterwards you really aren't into it you can just tell him that it wasn't great and you don't want to continue it. There's no shame in having a fwb sort of situation if you can handle the situation and that means the "guilt" that comes with it. If not, then leave it be.
Ew.. he picked you up on fb inbox? Sounds like a total creep~_~
Uh, I don't know... how do you feel about booty calls? I think they are tacky but to each their own. Just be safe. Good luck! But what if he wants more than just booty calls, then what do you do?
...... sounds like spicy fun. How fun is being someones booty call... no strings attach no guilt? Can you do it....
He doesn't know where Europe is? Run while you still can. I don't care if it's casual; that just isn't acceptable.
Well, to me it sounds like you are okay with booty calls. If thats the case, I fail to see why its a problem to continue "chatting it up"?
If you in fact AREN'T okay with being a friend with benefits, booty call, etc...then maybe you should go with not keeping contact with him because if he wanted to continue after you said you didn't want to...whats that say about him? And he sounds like a total tool.
Where does babby come from? Uneducated people are a danger to society. Run for the hills.
Get some therapy for your guilt issues.
Sleep with whomever you want. That's none of anyone's concern!