Saturday, 26 March 2011
-
Come One, Come All! The Cure for Homosexuality is Finally Here!
Yet another creep who somehow became a youth pastor is cited as having had sex with gay teenage boys. He successfully became the first human to have discovered the cure for homosexuality! That's right, if you give them a taste of their own medicine in both literal and figurative manners, they'll be converted into true, straight Christians. Don't take my word for it, this is what Brent Girouex, age 31, had to say:
“When they would ejaculate, they would be getting rid of the evil thoughts in their mind.”
Truly masterful. In celebration of his discovery, I've written a short poetic piece on the state of organized religion among other things.Thank the sweet, merciful Jesus! Hallelujah!
Recite the Act of Contrition and come forth, child... for your penance is penile in nature.
Say three Hail Mary's and close thine eyes; forgiveness will prove hard to swallow.
But fear not, for Jesus himself will feel your pain; he did as much whilst saving humanity from sin.
Approach the pulpit with ass-cheeks open wide; my Jesus Stick has been approved to deliver youth from evil.
Speak not of false prophets my son, I stand before you as God incarnate.Gay demons begone...! Gay demons begone...! Gay demons begone...! Hallelujah!
Come to my Ark for salvation; allow me to dispel your soul from sin and temptation.
Ejaculate these homosexual demons upon the collection plate,
The root of all evil shall be bred with a side of bread to increase our income rate.
The body and blood of Christ; rejoining to rock the pulpit chair like Poltergeist.
So get down on your knees with hands firmly clasped in oratory position,
Swallow the body and holy water; watch as the homo demons leave your body in an act of religious fission.
Believe you aren't the first and won't be the last,
I've purified over fifty with familiar tasting medicine, none a lass.
The cure for homosexuality is God's brand of gay,
Not two boys kissing or happiness,
In fact, it's getting fucked in the ass by blind faith while you pray.Amen.
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: AsylumBlue
- About Me: The musician in me is constantly dueling with my inner writer, trying to take its place. What I'm attempting to do is allow them to live harmoniously, but it seems that I'm a terrible peacemaker, because they haven't stopped bickering or flinging spit-balls at one another. I write political satire, short stories, poems and... actually, I can pretty much write about anything; I'm flexible (not physically, unfortunately). If I had to choose, it would be writing softcore romance novels full of seduction, extramarital affairs and incredibly specific details. I'm kidding about that last part, I think.
-
True Lifetime
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 100 Views: 0 661959 Comments: 0 6839 View all posts by AsylumBlue
Comments (37)
Sigh
He just wants an excuse to fuck little boys. I'm sure he knows damn well that ejaculating won't get rid of his urges.
What the fuck is wrong with people.
@SentimentalDoll@xanga - Hey, don't blame all of us. Like the drunken uncle at every family reunion, so every church has an anti-gay loudmouth. But the rest of us are pretty accepting (read: sober).
I feel bad for those kids. They thought that God's house was the safe house. I guess we all were wrong in the end. :/
What. The. Fuck.
wow. horrible.
I swear, I just look at the title of the Datingish post and I know it's yours, mr writing style hahaa.
People have serious issues. Pedobear approves of this youth pastor lolol
As a gay man who has ejaculated ...many times, I can honestly say I think it's only made me gayer.
@Grtt@xanga - This is great. And this post is great.
I see...portia and ellen degeneres, rosie o'donnell in the blue dress, brokeback mountain cowboys, bert and ernie, and robert downey jr and bono wearing his trademark sunglasses
is that john mccain using the toilet as a floatie
don't recognize the mustache old man but he looks creepy. the blonde looks like robin wright penn, who plays jenny from the forrest gump movie.
this asscheeks poem is very engaging and amusing. bible verses are so boring.
@SentimentalDoll@xanga - I understand. I hate seeing Christians say things like that, too... It kind of undermines the whole concept of sin, to say one sin is better than another. T_T
@GettingClosertoFine@xanga - Right. I wonder why this particular topic has become "the worst sin." I mean, since I've never read the Bible or anything I don't know what the other sins really are... but I can imagine there are sins that are worse off than this. I mean, does being gay really hurt anyone?? I'm just super protective of this cause I've dated bi guys and my best friend is gay, and trying to "cure" them of homosexuality is freaking ridiculous. It's not a disease, it's the way you're born. v___v" You can't "fix" it, you know?
this website is very good, you can go and see it
http://www.shoes4world.com/
Everybody knows the cure for homosexuality is jesus, because only one of those things are absolutely real...
I would like my 10 IQ points back, please.
............Wow.
@SentimentalDoll@xanga - Yeah, exactly. =/ I don't really know why it's the most hated sin right now... I guess because it's currently the most celebrated? But each generation seems to have this one thing they attack. My parents had to deal with being attacked for smoking, my grandparents had to deal with being attacked for drinking/drugs. It appears we are going to have to deal with being attacked for homosexuality.
I think it'll be okay sooner or later, though. Every prejudice fades, if the parties being hurt just buckle down and let it pass. My mom (a lesbian) says that things, however bad they may seem now, were a lot worse when she was our age. And look at how many states have legalized marriage already! Personally, I'm hopeful about the whole thing.
@PseudoEuphoric@xanga - Yeah, I was going to reword what I said but comments can't be edited after a certain point... and I realized too late! I agree for the most part, but I don't think homosexual acts are sins... that's just me. lol. (:
@GettingClosertoFine@xanga - As am I. Hmm that's a good point. Religion in general amuses me though. There are so many guidelines -it seems- to following most religions and if you go against one of them (accidentally or on purpose) it can have messy / dire consequences. (One of the reasons I chose Atheism actually.) My best friend's mom -who's a devout Christian- has pretty much shunned him because he's gay. It absolutely breaks my heart because he says he doesn't care but I know how much it hurts him to have his mom push him away because of how he is. :/ I hope someday people will realize it's not a bad thing.
@SentimentalDoll@xanga - I understand. Hell, that used to be the biggest thing that drove me away from introducing myself to the Christian God, is all of the rules I would have to follow to have Him on my side. But as I got more into it, I realized the rules all pretty much came naturally. Y'know, love God, be nice to other people, take care of your body, think of the consequences of your actions, and a ton of other things. I don't really mind so much.
And yeah, I hate it when parents completely throw out their kids, based on their lifestyle choices. =/ I saw that happen many times with parents getting rid of their gay kid. My moms, on the other hand, told me I wasn't allowed to come home anymore, when they found out I was following God now. I think that whole mess really flows both ways. Christians protest gay pride parades, gays protest megachurchs, and everyone just gets angry at each other... Sucks having a foot in both worlds.
this website is very good, you can go and see it
http://www.shoes4world.com/