Wednesday, 23 March 2011
My four best friends are all in my immediate family. This wasn't always the case; in fact I pretty much tortured my younger sister for the first twelve years of her life. But now that we are - ahem - adult enough to be best friends, the demands of life dictate that we don't get to see each other as often as we used to.
It's so strange - you spend all of your days together for so many years, and then someone moves to Boston and someone moves to New York and someone gets a significant other and suddenly the family is only reunited in its entirety once or twice a year.
But this weekend was one of those times. The clan came down to New York, and it was glorious. I felt at home, surrounded by the people that make me feel most like myself. On our last night together we were sitting in a Chinese restaurant in Manhattan, making soft primal sounds at each other in honor of the deliciousness.
I looked up and caught a warm gaze from my sister, and I suddenly realized that I could not imagine introducing the guy I'm dating to these, the most precious people in my life, whose opinions I value above all others.
It's not that he's hideous or boring or dumb. He's very sharp and very handsome and I quite enjoy his company. I don't know what it is. I just can't imagine it. I can't imagine he and my brother talking about music, which is something they have in common, or he and my sister making jokes about how mean I was to her when we were kids. I can't imagine my father asking him what he does for a living, or my mother asking about his parents.
It's not that I think he would flounder. It's not that I fear my family wouldn't like him. The image is literally just not accessible to my brain. I just. Can't. Picture it.
I've definitely had the opposite experience, to be fair. There have been times in my romantic past when my overactive imagination leads me to wonder what our kids might look like. But this is the first time that I really like someone... and just can't imagine it.
Should I be concerned about my lack of imagination? How does your (in)active imagination impact your relationships?