Friday, 18 March 2011

• iPod Sharing: The Bacteria of Love

  
  Nowadays, having an mp3 player is as common as owning a cell phone. Even cell phones have the ability to function as makeshift mp3 players -- how do ya' like that, eh? Technology never ceases to slack my jaw. Given that bit of information, it's safe to assume that couples will normally have two devices between each other; if not, at least one.
  
  Seeing lovestruck kids sharing ear buds warms my heart... and sometimes gets in the way of walking like normal human beings through pedestrian traffic. Let's just pretend that the good outweighs the bad for the sake of argument. Bacteria be damned.
  
  Then there are those instances where you simply use your SO's mp3 player to browse through his/her music list and get a feel for what they listen to. Admittedly, this is more common in new relationships. Perhaps you'll stumble upon their embarrassing collection of Spice Girls and t.A.T.u. singles. Maybe you're dating a crust punk, only to discover his vast collection of Green Day albums and early Good Charlotte. How embarrassing!
  
  No doubt (not the band), this can be embarrassing. It's not uncommon for people to hide their guilty pleasures in folders named after the more accepted bands like The Beatles, Pink Floyd, AC/DC, The Clash or Bon Jovi (I say Bon Jovi with a large glass of sarcasm directed towards your lips). Heck, I remember hiding Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" and "I'm With You" inside of a folder aptly labeled "AHAHA" along with old Backstreet Boys shit and a healthy dose of Justin Timberlake. Fuck you, I can sense you cracking a smile.

  The point is, even in relationships, we're curious about simple things like the kind of music our new dates listen to, and it becomes part of the "getting to know each other" stage. You can be sneaky and snatch the mp3 player away without permission, or you can be a good sport and politely ask for it with a cheesy grin across the face.

  One of the more positive aspects of sharing headphones and music on a date is that it's entertaining and time-consuming, while still being free and physically getting the two of you closer. Sooner or later, you're bound to be locking lips to Rebecca Black's Internet sensation of a song, "Friday." I can't think of anything more romantic than that!

  It's such a great icebreaker, and I say this with all the sincerity in the world. My vast knowledge of music has gotten me laid multiple times in the past, but that may have been a direct result of my "Music to Get Women to Fuck You" folder.

  Within it, you'll find Enrique Iglesias, John Mayer, the Goo Goo Dolls and "Wonderwall" by Oasis, because all women love that song. In fact, it's a staple for douche bags who whip out acoustic guitars at parties, in hopes of getting laid. That and "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's. You can bet on it. (I was kidding about that folder, by the way.)

  So let's hear it:

  Do you actively engage in this activity on casual dates if at all possible?
  
  Have you ever been embarrassed enough to hide music in case a potential love interest were to rummage through your collection of bad electro-pop?
  
  Does Friday come before Saturday?

  Sincerely,
  Nuñez Love Doctor.

  Certified with a PhD in Awkwardly Dancing in Fake Convertibles and "Fried Eggs."

  
  P.S.

  I couldn't resist getting in on the Rebecca Black nonsense in one form or another. Forgive me.

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