From: britneyimaslaveforyou@hotmail.comThis guy was hot, and he turned me on. Our chemistry on the dance floor was something I wanted to explore, and if a male can hold my attention for longer than an hour in that setting, it was a green light.
That night we were kissing and playing with each other. Usually in this situation people would think the guy would only have one thing on his mind, but no. I wanted it, and he wanted to just explore each other without going all the way.
Uhh, what? It seemed unusual for a guy to just want to stay at 3rd base. He is a guy so he obviously couldn't resist temptation after a while. Issue is not so much what happened that night, it was what happened subsequently.
It's late November now and there hasn't been a day where we haven't talked on the phone or texted. Every day he calls me, we talk for an hour or more sometimes. He might call me sometimes up to 5 times a day just to say hi (he doesn't ask where I am as if to check up, he just asks how I am doing and such). He makes me happy and I make him happy and it feels like we really understand each other.
But there is a flaw - he has a girlfriend in a different country. I thought I could just use him for the physical, but all these months later it is getting really hard and frustrating. I want him, but I do not want a relationship with him knowing he could cheat on someone.
There have been times when I try to walk away, but I want to hold on until I am ready to let go. We don't just do physical stuff when we see each other. We do "couple-y" things outside of the bedroom such as running, eating, and watching movies with no physical contact.
I know that what I am doing is wrong, but is he at no fault? Have other females ever had this situation - what do I do and how could this be broken apart?
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Comments (67)
So either you homewreck it or you find a new guy. Your choice. Next.
1) You both are at fault 2) .... I have no words. You obviously know what you're doing is wrong and you still continue to go along with it. What if you were the girlfriend and you found out your boyfriend was being all "couple-y" with another girl?
Well, that's a little fucked up. He is at fault for ever getting himself into this kind of situation. He should have told his girlfriend when it happened or something. I don't know. Don't these things come up sooner or later in a relationship anyway? With Facebook, guilt and mutual friends it's hard to keep anything secret. I think the only way it's going to end is if one of you loses interest... and if he's still holding on to this girl in a different country, it doesn't seem like it's going to work out in your favor. Even if he did leave her for you, imagine how many other female friends he'd have like you.
Maybe find a nice single guy? I don't understand why people do this shit really.
If he is happy with his girlfriend, there is nothing you can do about it. Even if you two get along really well (though you're pressuring him into sex and trying to ruin his relationship), that doesn't mean he's obligated to break up for you or that you have some sort of dibs on him.
He's happy having you as a friend with benefits and that other girl as his girlfriend. There's nothing you can really do to change that, except for straight-up walking away. You're both using each other--you really think that will end well?
He probably stopped at 3rd base for the guilt. Leave him. Yes he treats you well while she is away. But what happens if she comes back, will you be cast away? He has to choose. If he has you to do all the couple-y things, why does he still need the other girl? He is coward for not breaking up with her.
@tokyoexpressman@xanga - agreed
but you're already a homewrecker.
You walk away, telling yourself that you're worth being with a one-woman man, instead of his side piece.
Now please. Walk.Ah yes, this scenario. whether you pushed on it or not, its the cheaters fault. no girl or guy involved in my comment, because cheaters don't discriminate. you might as well either enjoy it while it lasts and walk away from it when you find someone worth staying with, OR cut your ties now and be done with it.
either way, theres no good in it. sex before monogamy is not a good foundation for a relationship.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - agree
I still don't get why girls do this. You have to know before going in, if you're already the hookup, you're gonna lose out if it comes down to a "her or me" situation. Guys rarely leave the girlfriend for the other woman. If it's a one-time only thing or the girl is totally fine with being used, that's one thing, but getting into a FWB situation while thinking he might leave her for you is a no-no. Most of the time, the girlfriend wins.
if you know you are wrong why do you continue to do this...
i have no sympothy for homewreckers its one thing if you dont know he had a girlfriend but in your case you do he is not only cheating on her with you physically but emotionally too.
He is obviously nothing that good if he doesnt have enought b*lls and respect to break it off with his girlfriend.
I think its time you move and and stop with your affair.
I would hate it if when i leave to another state for a couple months my boyfriend was doing "couple-y" things with another girl so why dont you take a step back and put yourself in her shoes.
Sorry to be so harsh but you asked for the advice so take it
@tokyoexpressman@xanga - so true && these girls need to understand they are causing nothing but drama and problems for them selves, they need to find someone who isnt already in a relationship. couldnt agree with you more
@Earika_Silver@xanga - hahahahahahaha
thats wat happens when ur a HOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE lol u get useddddddddddddd lol
@kingsaul@xanga -
hahhaa GET IT GUYSSSSSSSS.. a hoe, a garden tool .. u get used lol ...
hey any1 interested in a real xanga blogger friend who will actualy write you back on your post if you write in mines?
if so add me please and leave sum love!
delete all them idiots off your friends list who never write on your blogs.. i know ya got sum!
cause im about to delete a whole bunch of people... i just want to add people who i can actually talk to and ect.. that is the whole point rite?
@kingsaul@xanga - yea but these girls think its ok that they are screwing taken guys and that its funny,it aint going to be so funny when the girlfriend finds out. ONly thing funny about it is the girlfriend will be the one leaving with the boyfriend when she is left with no one.
There are so many guys out there why do these girls think they need to find the one who is already taken... i wish someone would please explain this to me.
He already has a girlfriend, and you're aware of that? Scum. Seriously - I've never cheated/been cheated on, but it's painfully obvious that you're a waste of flesh.
1) he's already cheating
2) just admit that you are cheating with him
3) you're not a bad person, but you're sure doing a shitty ass thing :/
4) of course he is at fault as well. he's more at fault than you because he shouldn't be an ass to his girlfriend like that
5) that said, you're still doing a bad thing, so stop it
WOW I can't believe all this negativity towards you! I really think that A: if anyone is going to be at fault it's him, he's the one who's messing up his relationship so why be so harsh to someone? and someone said that you were pressuring him into sex? I didn't read that anywhere it seems to me that they were fooling around and after a while things went further. B: I do agree, it's best to just cut things off, and if that's not what you want, just back off from each other a bit because just look at it from the girlfriend's point of view, I'm sure you wouldn't like that. And C: if you end up trying to get the guy into a relationship with you and for some reason things don't work out he'll resent you because you broke them up, even if it was his idea to break up with her that's what's going to register in his mind.... everyone deserves to be loved by someone who only loves them.
physical cheating is inexcusable but also doing coupley things is even worse because it is a long term affair. this is 100th degree cheating.
@NJEMT@xanga - she is just as guitly as him, she knows about the girl so therefor she got herself involved in this and when she found out about the gf she should of stopped it right then and there so therefor she didnt she is just as much fault as he.
Sorry but you are at fault as much as he is. Let me tell you something if your smart you’ll walk away and when he’s free he can look for you then you. Only then will really know you and him deserve to be together. Wrecking a relationship is not a good idea because you will feel guilty at some point. Who know he might do the same to you. He did cheat on his girl friend and you will always wonder if he will do the same to you. Now karma is a bitch and would you like some one to do this to you?
If you like being a physical thing he can play around with while the person he really loves is away, and like settling for second best, then by all means, settle. If you want a meaningful, romantic, and healthy relationship, find someone whos worth your time. Your his baggage right now. I was in a 4 year relationship where my boyfriend cheated on me with his exes and my friends multiple times, and I was nothing but baggage and a "good woman" to him (aka doormat). Be the stronger person and walk away, delete his numbers, and move the fuck on.
wait... what is the point of this blog?
he is already cheating on her. with you.also what is the benefit for you? you arent even getting laid.i say call this thing off entirely. there is no point to it.he is a douche. you are a douche for continuing it too.done and done.you'll never regret leaving. this guys a sinking ship.