Wednesday, 16 March 2011
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Unfulfilled Desires
The craziest thing that has happened to me is the rolling trend that's been occurring the last 6 months. It seems that with my new outlook, new body (it's not fake by the way, I just happened to have lost 32 lbs), and my new found confidence, I've attracted more people. The crazier bit is that people I used to know from before the change now look at me with a raised eyebrow of curiosity.
Now, my reaction to their feedback is, of course, a big ego. However, it's not so big that I become a douchebag; it's just a fun type of overconfidence that people find a bit of humor and a sense of cuteness within. To some, it's even attractive.
What I mean by "unfulfilled desires" is that I've never had this type of control before. With this renewed confidence, I feel like going out and seeing what I can do. However, I'm in a committed relationship of 3+ years; doing so would break that established happiness.
But what I miss is that sensation of the hunt. It sounds chauvinistic, this I know well, but I can't help wondering. After all, who wouldn't wonder? Imagine having a chance with that one person from the past who you thought was unreachable. Now that you have this something, nothing is too far out of your reach.
Lately, many people have been stepping up and have been playing with my attention. I might be a sex-crazed maniac but I am not a cheater. However, the mind does terrible things to the body and makes it yearn for forbidden fruit. I want to explore a vast frontier to expand my wisdom. Though no matter how I eloquently describe it, it doesn't justify any acts of unfaithfulness. So many questions will have to be unanswered.
As a more important note, I cannot let go of my current relationship. I have worked too hard to get us to where we are now. I know there is no other being for me than the one I'm with now. I'm afraid of losing my closest friend and lover.
If I were to give our future for my curiosity and libido, then I'm worth less than the dirt I step on.
Would you sacrifice your relationship if you were in my situation? What if these desires keep haunting me to the point where it affects my current relationship?
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About the Author
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- From: Blinkrcks6@xanga
- Name: Bryan
- Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
- About Me: Oh gosh. I'm sorry to break it to you, but I'm a guy. I didn't mean to mislead you.
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Comments (23)
i would never sacrifice a relationship i had worked that hard on.
I may be a girl.. but I'm on the same boat. I haven't been single in more then 5 years. My problem is I constantly jump from one relationship to the next when it gets too old.. They are usually long term relationships (around 2 years) but each time I yearn for the new.
Even now I'm in a great serious relationship.. but I yearn to get more. I think I just need time to be single and figure what I want out. I think I don't know anything else but a long term relationship.. But its hard because I'm not going to leave them because I know they are the one for me too.
I don't know.. I do think you gotta go out there and experience to really know and appreciate. You may say that they are the one for you.. but then why do you feel this way then? You know? Maybe you need to test out the waters before making a decision. I'd hate to make a dumb analogy.. but its like.. you bought this awesome necklace. It's great.. but you realize shit I have a nice neck. You walk by and theres so many other necklaces.. and you want to know how they fit too. It's normal to be curious..
Just don't cheat on her. Be honest.. whatever you decide to do. If you wanna try something else don't do it while you're with her. I think that's usually what happens.. Greed. You can't let them go but you really want to try something else. Then they overlap. It's one or the other man.
I think you pretty much know what you want and despite your desires you understand whats more important.
Just try to always keep that in mind. Whats new and exciting doesn't stay that way for long.
Don't cheat, that's for sure. Maybe take a break. If she were the girl for you then I don't believe you'd be having these feelings. Is she not excited for your positive changes? Good Luck.
i would NEVER sacrifice a relationship with someone that stayed with you through thick and thin... and when you were 32 lbs heavier and with a lower confidence. and you worked so hard to keep that relationship --why lose it for meaningless "chases"
i think its kind of selfish of you thinking that just because you're hotter than before that you should drop what you "settled" for back then to get someone else.
if you decide to go out and experiment with other people, thats great cause you get to see what else is out there, but... you just might lose the relationship that might mean the most and you probably won't ever get that back until you find someone that will look past your physical features and love you for your personality and other internal aspects.
I'm in the same boat and I don't know what to do. I've been in a relationship for 4 years, and I too miss the excitement of being single, of meeting new people and not knowing what could happen. I think it's natural. I have met a couple guys over the past year who I know I could've dated if I had not been in a relationship, and it gets frustrating at times because I feel like I'm missing out on something. But what keeps me from cheating or doing anything sketchy is just remembering that my boyfriend really loves me, and would these guys even love me? I think back to my single days and for every 1 guy that truly cared about me there was like 8 losers who tried to play me. Not good odds. I'm gonna stop rambling now, but basically just really give some though to how you feel about your partner and if it is worth it to take the risk of being single again for the sake of some excitement, or not.
This reminds me of Princess Diaries. Basically she picks the guy because he saw her when she was invisible to everyone else. Same thing for you.
sure, why not. what your gf doesn't know won't hurt her.
Just because you've lost weight doesn't mean you all of a sudden need to turn into a (excuse my language) whore.
Why would you choose guys that never saw you how you were before? If gained back that weight, I'm sure that they will leave you. That's how shallow it is. Stay with your relationship, because apparently, it means a lot to you and this person loves you.
Know what is important.Know that what feels exciting usually never last forever and in the end, you'll be alone.
@vicdaily@xanga - I thought of that too. Weird, huh?
no, and I wouldn't give the people that didn't give me the time of day before the satisfaction of having me now. that's why I don't like social networks like facebook or other sites where jerks from back in the day find me and try to be friendly because I look different now. I'd rather be with someone, who appreciates and is loyal to me, than the fleeting carnal feelings with people that I don't really care about nor do they really care about me. the playboy lifestyle seems fun but I personally think it is cheapening yourself even though it is a choice. to each their own.
Was in the same situation, but the relationship (of 4+ years) wasn't working out, so I ended it and went for what I wanted.
I would never sacrifice my committed relationship for "curiosity." Think of it this way: If those people only looked at you because you lost weight and now looked more desirable, they are very shallow people. On the other hand, your SO loved you regardless of your weight. If I were you, I wouldn't want anything to do with shallow guys because for all you know, they just want you for your looks (trophy gf).
Actually, I knew I gained some weight right after high school, but I purposely kept it on for a while just to see how people looked at me. I still managed to make friends and I have a great bf right now, who didn't mind my weight. He actually liked a little meat on a girl. Now, I'm starting to exercise to stay healthy, fit and more energized.No. You have to remember that despite the new looks that you possess, that one person you are with loved you for who you were before you became that way. And to give up something that great will be a great loss.
no, never.
your current s.o loved you even when you were invisible to other people, that's the kind of affection that endures time and change, I wouldn't let it go if I were you :S
i feel ya on this one. i think that your imagination is probably getting the better of you and whatever yearnings you are thinking of will likely not be as fulfilling as you think.
Ew. If you're seriously entertaining these thoughts, do your partner a favour and leave.
You have a right to what you're curious about, but not during a 3+ year relationship. Either calm yourself and reestablish why you love your SO, or give it up to "expand your wisdom." But don't keep your poor SO believing you're truly committed anymore.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - Agreed.
I lost over 80 lbs in the last year and a half--believe me I know what it's like to get a lot of attention, like you're a shiny new person. It still wasn't worth losing my boyfriend of only ONE year over. Other people's advances have never sparked disloyal curiousity. I'd like to think I can say the same for him, and I'm sure your SO would like to think the same about you.
I love the way you write! You are very eloquent :)
Okay now that that is out of the way I wanted to also let you know that I was in the same boat as you! You just need to really analyze and communicate with your other half to make sure your needs are met...Once they are met you will still look and wonder, but you won't question it so much....and if you do...Well maybe you really should go out and explore a bit to understand what you really want.
How are you suppose to know if you don't have a bit of experience?
Just be careful though, because your lover/best friend might never be there for you again if you decided to call it quits.
Hope I helped a bit!---
You're young, you have time.
so basically you lost some weight, became more attractive, and now you want to ditch your current boyfriend for people who are giving you attention solely on your looks?
did you lose what makes you a decent person with those 32 pounds as well?
I would definitely not risk it! The guy you are with obviously loves you for who you are, because he loved you before you lost weight. Why sacrifice that just to go out and be used by random guys who only want you now that you lost weight?? And then what happens in the end? You end up feeling jaded and you've lost a long/good relationship (which are very hard to find nowadays!) But hey, if that's what you really wanna do then go for it, you know the consequences, do they outweigh the benefits?
nope. not one bit!