Saturday, 12 March 2011
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Awkward Unintentional Sex Joke of the Day
I am someone who is really awkward and clumsy. I have no shame and am completely open about things, so it's hard to get me embarrassed. If you're friends with me, you've seen me fall flat on my face numerous times, you know every awkward detail of my sex life, you know all my bizarre thoughts; basically I have no censor. However, this one got me embarrassed.
This weekend I had an interview at University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign for their graduate program in neuroscience (I think I was unofficially offered a position today =) ).
They had us stay with a grad student instead of getting us a hotel room, which I was fine with, and the guy was REALLY hot. Basically the entire time I was looking at him I could not stop picturing him naked. That probably explains what happened later....
So he takes me back to his place and he had an extra bedroom, so I'm in there unpacking and he's standing in the doorway talking to me. Well he starts to walk away and, mostly to myself, I say
"Alright, seriously, where the hell are my pants?"
and he says
"Yeah, pants are important"
and without even thinking I say
"It depends on what you're doing."
...
And then there's this looooooooong awkward silence, and I'm frozen in place holding my newly discovered pants wondering how the hell my mouth made those words without consulting me.
I can tell he froze too in the other room because I can't hear his footsteps anymore, and I'm trying to think of something to say that will make this less awkward but all my brain can think is, "FUCK, SHIT, GOD DAMMIT!" over and over again, and then he says:
"Okay, fair enough." and continues walking away.
All I could think was "Well, that just happened." I wish I was making it up.
Easily one of the most awkward things I have ever said, especially considering I had known this guy for about 10 minutes and he was potentially reporting back to the head of the department about whether or not I'm a good candidate.
I feel like I deserve an award for how awkward that was.
Reader challenge: Think of something I could have said or done that would have made that not awkward. I contest that it is not possible.
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About the Author
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- From: jenessa1889@xanga
- Name: jenessa1889
- About Me: I've just finished my bachelors in psychology this spring and I started a ph D. program in neuroscience in August. I try to treat everyone with respect and to be open minded to all ideas. I like to think and debate about things, particularly in philosophy and politics. I ask questions a lot. I love to learn. I love anything artistic. I'm very touchy-feely with the people I'm close too. I'm very liberal, but I understand why some conservative ideals exist, even if I don't agree with them. I'm very against drugs (that includes alcohol), but if that were a requirement for all my friends I wouldn’t have any haha. I love life and I find myself moved to tears on a regular basis by simple little things. Sometimes I randomly think of something funny and I have to try really hard not to burst out laughing so I don’t look crazy. I like using big words.
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Comments (58)
A vibrator could've fallen out of those newly-discovered pants you were holding and managed to hit the power button, that would've topped things off nicely I think
@PseudoEuphoric@xanga - he didn't say it, I did lol
Awkward. I would have said something along the lines of "Well you know, swimming in pants could get a big awkward maybe just as awkward as this conversation." Then laughed it off.
"swimming"
"beach"
"seasonal"
"shower"
"sleeping with pants on is awkward"
I can think of a few things, yeah you screwed yourself. Lol.
I'd just laugh it off, "Well, you know, I can gladly prove the unimportance of pants right now." ;)
Not really so awkward. Just kind of funny and silly. I'd usually laugh after that..and if the person got the meaning then there would be laughing all around.
I hereby present to you this Life Achievement Award for "FUCK, SHIT, GOD DAMMIT!" Moment!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
@hellsingdude@xanga - hahahaha!
anyways, yea that is awkward! i wouldve just said "hah, just kidding!" and just laugh.
but since now its been some time from that embarrassing moment, i dont think you can save yourself now. but now just laugh about that moment and move on and act like it never happened. just try to continue and make conversation nonchalantly
"like, looking for them...."
or "taking a shower."
or "tanning."
or "wearing a skirt."
or "crazy, wild monkey sex."
i would have laughed and said something along the lines of "sorry, just trying to entertain myself!"
i have a really good guy friend who is suuuper awkward about me and sex or anything that has to do with anything sexual. i was at my friend's house and they were having a conversation about penis size and i happened to walk by on my way to the bathroom. when i walked by, he said, "yeah but size doesn't always matter." and i said, "no it always does." and he gave me this wide-eyed look and i just took a sip of my beer and laughed. it wasn't as an awkward moment for me as it was for him.
Yay for pants! Sometimes.
@xnotxbeautifulx@xanga - omg that would have been perfect. i wish i thought of that!
hahahahahaha. I would have seriously just laughed it off. Awkward moments happen, they're only awkward if you let them stay awkward. Defuse the situation by laughing, or for that comment, I would have winked at him. But that's so funny! I may have to try and pull that on my friends one of these days. XD
LMAO !
Although this is funny i don't think it's that bad , but then again i'm a cheeky twat and don't rly care what people think , and suprisingly alot of people love the way i am , so be proud and laugh it off it's not like it's the end of the world
@jenessa1889@xanga - haha I get those moments a lot!!! :X
LOLOL nice one!
But there are situations where pants aren't necessary.....?
i dont really see that as awkward. i say things like that joking all the time
@disorderlychina@xanga - yeah me too, with my friends, not total strangers =p
you should have laughed it off, and wink...that's what I would have done lol
I would have laughed at myself and said something along the lines of "see, this is why I'm perfect for the job. It's my knack for point out the incredibly obvious/my intelligent insight." Or something like that!
Have you considered a career in comedy? :)
I would have come back and given you a high five because that is a great line! And one I am going to steal ;)
"After all, you don't need pants to swim. You just wear a bathing suit."
@Footballblogs@xanga - haha i have lol i wanted to do stand up for a long time but i've heard from comedians that everyone bombs in the beginning and I'd probably cry and run off the stage if i was bombing =p
HAHA
That's really funny. Don't worry about it. He probably just thinks you're saucy.
if you would've laughed afterwards, it wouldnt have been as awkward, or awkward at all. he wouldve laughed along most likely