Wednesday, 09 March 2011
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The Dirtiest Pick-Up Line
Over the weekend, I visited a bar with a few friends. The bar was crowded and there were cute boys lining the walls. As we stood around, this hefty guy crept towards our group to say hello to a buddy of mine. He was wearing khaki beach shorts in the middle of February and a porkpie hat to top off his charming look.
He wasn't much taller than I was and had arm and shoulder muscles bigger than my torso. He wasn't my type, but I couldn't be rude to a friend's friend. He was hanging around me, sending my friend face signals and hands gestures until we were introduced.
As we shook hands I said, "Hi, my name is Lourdes," in his ear over the loud music. After this, he said something in my ear but I couldn't quite understand.
"What?" I replied. He tried again, but I still couldn't hear over the DJ's speaker sitting a few feet away from us.
"I'm..." he yelled. I understood he was trying to tell me his name but I couldn't place it.
"Pretty?" I asked. He shook his head hard and tried once more.
"Sturdy?" I was getting frustrated.
Finally, he came close and said it in between a song.
It took me a moment to realize what he had just said. I shot my friend a look to make sure I wasn't just hearing things, because I was almost positive I heard incorrectly again.
"Dirty?" I asked. He smiled.
"Dirty." I confirmed, confused trying to make positive that this man was identifying himself as filth.
He continued to smile at me and perform goofy dances while I was trying to recollect my thoughts. This guy had just tried to pick me up with an introduction like 'Dirty', and it seemed like a serious effort.I had to laugh it off. It was as if I would have marched up to a guy and introduced myself as "Slut" or worse, the male deal breaker: "Clingy." Yikes!
This night only proved what I already knew. It takes real courage and class to be a single girl.What's the worse method someone used to pick you up?
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About the Author
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- From: LourdesLink@xanga
- Name: LourdesLink
- Location:
- About Me: This Miami-native, music-junkie and self-assumed food critic has something to say but has a bit of stage fright so via blog, welcome to me! @ludaahhh
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Comments (15)
haha that is hilarious. quite original. too bad he wasnt attractive otherwise he may of pulled it off.
no one has ever used cheesy lines on me and were genuinely serious. a lot of how to get in my pant jokes. which make me walk away quickly.
I picked up a guy this weekend by telling him he was "Cute with a side of douche." I still can't believe he was both drunk and arrogant enough for it to work.
I haven't heard any dirty pickup lines. maybe the creeps are more bold at night clubs because they're drunk. I rarely go to night clubs. guys usually just "holla" at me lol usually black or mexican men approach me. this group of black men hollered at me from across the lawn like 50 feet away as I walked to class, but I ignored them. or a car full of guys yell things at me, so a tacky drive-by hollering, not exactly a pickup, but I often think they are gangsters trying to find an opportunity to kidnap me, so I walk faster and ignore them
then I was standing there waiting for my next class to start and this black guy walked towards me and called me cutie and attempted to talk to me, but I was still feeling sleepy since I'm not a morning person, so I sorta ignored him
I usually wear this oversized hooded sweater and baggy pants to class, so I wasn't looking my best, but they didn't seem to care. that was when I was in college. now guys, usually older men, are often courteous to me, probably because of how I dress, and just simply introduce themselves and give me their number.
I've been wanting to test out random pick-up lines, just for fun, to see what kind of reactions I get.
haha I hate cheesy pick up lines....I rather go off with a guy who strikes up a decent conversation about the weather or World events.
@AsylumBlue - Try this "Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?". 9/10 success rate!
But then again I was in a brothel at the time....
No but in all seriousness I thought pick-up lines had died out.... I go to clubs a fair amount, and talking (as you made clear) is pretty much impossible. I was under the impression gesturing, mime and dancing evocatively was the way to pick up girls now a days. And if it was suddenly quiet enough for an actually conversation to be had, I thought women would be more appreciate if you struck up a general conversation about the venue, changed it into something funny, made some jokes and then subtly flirted until one of your mutual friends explained the situation.
Oh yeah, I am hardcore.
thats not even a pickup line really that just retard speak.
totally would've worked if james franco said it lol
this website is very good, you can go and see it
http://www.shoes4world.com/
If the guy is charming and a little attractive. But even when men I am not attracted to try to talk to me, I am flattered.
hahaha one time a guy attempted this line on me:
Pick-upper: How much does a polar bear weigh?
Pick-uppee: I dunno, how much?Pick-upper: Enough to break the ice. Hi! I'm _____haha but i'm a zookeeper. i replied, "an adult male can weight over a thousand pounds...why?" and as i wondered if a friend of mine and put him up to this and scanned myself for clues that i might work at the zoo, he got a funny look on his face and slunk away. only later, when i saw a list of cheesy pick-up lines, did it dawn on me. hahaha it was hilarious. but poor guy- it was brave to try!!
also, this guy sounds like an epic creeper. i don't care who you are...that is a super creepy pick-up line. fo realz.
Wow.
thats nuts. I wonder why this guy doesnt get his sack tapped more often, and when I say tapped I literally mean it, I hear it hurts worse than a punch or kick! yay for good vibrations.
I was at a low-key martini bar with a friend a couple months back. We are both married so we were just going to have drinks and chat. While there, a guy approaches me, sits down next to me and asks my name. I said "It's Laurie," to which he said, "Oh, like the seasoned salt! That's cool" and proceeded to try and pick me up for his friend.
Come on, seriously... SEASONED SALT????
"did you just fart?" "wtf, no!!!!" "...because you just blew me away"