Tuesday, 08 March 2011
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We Just Crave the Drama
I think I've watched too many chick flicks.
Every time I'm in a relationship, I find myself trying to create small problems so that I can test my boyfriend's and my own tolerance level. I could be extremely happy and would still want something to "spice" it up. It's just weird!
You know that moment in chick flicks when something wrong happens and either the guy or the girl has to chase the other person or has only one chance to make it up to their partner or to stop them from moving somewhere... yeah, I crave that kind of attention.
It's like the "love game" where you have to chase the guy to get him. You get butterflies, act all happy, get nervous and giggly... it's fun! It's also filled with tons of drama. Most of us tell our friends and try to come up with these scenarios of what would be the best move to get the guy or how to tell a guy something by giving him hints.
Why give him hints? Why do we have to discuss it with others? Why can't we just tell them straight up? Because giving him hints creates drama. He gets confused and then you go back home, call up your friends, and try to decode his response.
It seems that when we are just too happy, it gets boring. So some of you reading are probably thinking, "what's wrong with you?" or "why would you want a fight?" BLAH BLAH BLAH. But I know some... maybe most of us do this. We sometimes take little things guys say or do and just twist it to have a little bit more fun or to have some story to tell to our friends.
Some people look through their partner's phones, emails, and such just for the excitement of needing to know if something is going on. Sometimes we just argue even if it's about the stupidest things. It's just the fun of drama.
Are you addicted to the drama that comes with relationships?
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About the Author
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- From: TodayTalk@xanga
- Name: TodayTalk
- About Me: I started this blog to apologize to some people in my life that I've hurt. I guess I'll also share some thoughts and stories of my life. Enjoy!
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Comments (63)
THIS IS WHY I DON'T DATE.
hell no. haha i like happy. i hate drama in my relationship. i like us happy and having a great time :) if your relationship is boring when you're happy, then you're not with the right person.
Yes I think sometimes girls want to make their lives a little more interesting. Even when their own lives are pretty darn great. In doing so girls can run over other people's feelings without any consideration. When that happens the girls cry and fess up to their own foolish behaviors. Afterwards, they realize they did not need to turn their lives upside down, in fact they could have continued smelling the flowers and singing.
No need to stop in the middle of a good song to sing out of tune.
Sometimes I wonder if this is why some girls wear clothes that show off all their assets. Not to get us to look, but for the sole reason of complaining when we do for drama's sake.
I would get so pissed if a girl did this to me. Like seriously pissed. Pissed as in "You made this mess, you clean it up, I'm going out. Call me when you're over being crazy."
If you're bored, then be direct. Say that you'd like to do something new, that you feel a little "stuck in a rut", or that you'd like to spice things up a bit with some new activities. Creating drama for the sake of making yourself feel better is stupid. I don't know what kind of pushover boyfriends tolerate that kind of behavior, but I won't.
@tokyoexpressman@xanga - THANK YOU...
seriously woman get some hobbies, meet new people, find someone that actually interests you.
If I have another girlfriend that did this to me, I will seriously drop her ass and kick it out the door too. I hate dealing with stupid petty bullshit like this just because girls like you think it's fun. Reality will hit you and I hope really hard because if you want something fun to do with a guy, you should suggest going to a new concert, picking up a new hobby together or something, NOT START STUPID BULLSHIT ARGUMENTS. You will just end up being the insensitive psycho bitch in the end that nobody will want. Grow up and learn to be mature.
The men here are almost making me cry. It's beautiful.
Not at all. I don't even talk to friends about my relationship with my boyfriend. It is our relationship, not everyone else's relationship. I write about it on here like 99% of the time, but that's mostly just me getting out my own feelings about it without caring if I get someone's opinion on it or not.
There are other ways to avoid boredom in a relationship besides creating drama.
You're never going to have a happy marriage if you keep acting like this.
Sometimes my husband and I pick on each other and debate for fun (which sometimes sounds like arguments to other people)...but that's the extent of it. I don't get in an argument with him or look for things to get pissed about so he can run after me. I do know ppl who do that, but I just can't get with those games. I have no patience for that mess.
not really. drama ruins my mood, and when I'm with a guy, it is for the purpose of feel good feelings to enhance my life, instead of making my blood pressure rise. I prefer spicing it up sexually than verbally. it sounds like you enjoy the chase where you get the butterflies in your stomach feeling. in that case, don't be in a serious relationship. be single, then date guys and when the butterflies disappear, date another one. this is what players have been doing all along.
With my ex-fiance, who was my first "real" and serious relationship, I could side with this 100%. He always called me out on my bullshit and my games, and I was only doing it for attention (like you said, I wanted one of those relationships where he would chase after me no matter what and our love would conquer anything.)
I was young and naive, especially when it came to relationships, and all that I did was drive him away. I realized that creating all these stupid problems was one of the biggest mistakes I made in my life. In my opinion, you need to fight for what's important and drop all the petty bullshit. I'm using this as advice for you, or any of the other tons of girls who do this same thing, and saying that it's really not worth it. It wasn't worth it to lose someone I loved more than anything and who loved me just because I wanted to create a little drama and excitement. If things are going well, just let it be and enjoy it... it's a lot better than losing someone and ending up alone.This is why I didn't date for the first 19 years of my life. All my friends would come to my with "oh my bf said this...I wonder what he meant? HE IS SUCH A DICK!" Just take it for what it means? Lol. That was my thought. But now that I am dating an absolutely wonderful guy, I do the same thing. He'll say something and I'll try to take it at face value (because that's how he means it), but I find myself twisting his words. One time he said something, and immediately afterwards he said "just take it. Don't decode it. Don't tear it apart. Please!" lol. I guess his his last ex did that all the time and it annoyed him to no end!
It is fun. But you gotta be careful not to damage the relationship while having that fun. =Pdrama is fun
its like the chase volume 2
and its not like the fight and everyone gets pissed and hurt thing
its more an emotional release at times.
and like the john legend song says
"sometimes its heaven sent when we head back to hell again cause then we make up all the way'
I find drama both exciting and exhausting. I think it's one of the things that draws us into a relationship,, the chase, etc, but after awhile we get tired and we want to settle into some level of comfortable security. But some people just need the thrill and will keep ramping it up, or searching for side action to keep their heart pumping. Different strokes for different folks.
Find someone that you have a similar drama tolerance/craving with.
@PseudoEuphoric@xanga - Agreed
@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL@xanga - very true!
i once said to my boyfriend, " hey, i'm bored. it's been a while since we had a fight. let's fight! ". i was just joking and it turned out as a karma! a day later, we had a HUGE fight (of course i was the one who created the problem) and we almost called it quits. fortunately i managed to save the relationship and now we're are doing great, planning our wedding this December.
not to myself: NEVER EVER say something like that. a big no no.
I think I'm a lot more creative and imaginative than to create drama in my relationship. The last thing I want is drama.
Go traveling with your boyfriend or something if you get bored.
In my early high school years I romanticized the whole "Oh people in serious relationships fight and that's good". My relationships were always simple and lacked drama, which was nice, but I for some reason craved more. I got to college and got into a whole new sort of relationship. It was full of me walking away for stupid reasons, and at one point there was a bigger fight which ended when he left his room with me crying on a chair. He went for a walk, came back and we apologized, but the next day there was still that fight aftermath tension. Eventually that relationship ended because it was so full of ups and downs. At the time I was hurt, I wanted to keep fighting for it, but now I can look back and realize that is not the kind of relationship I want. Just because a relationship like that isn't "boring", it isn't the best situation to be in. I feel terrible for encouraging such a relationship so I sincerely hope that other girls don't try to make relationships like that anymore.
A fight every once in awhile can be expected, but it shouldn't be something to break the monotony. If you love someone, you will embrace the monotony because it is a hell of a lot better than something small exploding in your face.
I seem to be in the same boat.... I always seem to want to start an argument with my boyfriend or carry it out longer than it should be.I dont do it intetionally it just happens I like the exciment and seeing how far I can push him. but then I always end up telling him sorry and we make up. I cant seem to control it tho even if I want to...
"Every time I'm in a relationship, I find myself trying to create small problems so that I can test my boyfriend's and my own tolerance level."
I'd dump your ass like yesterdays garbage and I'm not even joking. That is childish, spoiled, overpriveleged BS that no man with any backbone would stand for. It's pure pussy-whipping power that we teach our girls these days. What you don't understand is that you're abusing the dude that you do this to. In the same way that you wouldn't want a guy who complains about every small little detail, why would you expect a guy would appreciate you to do that to him?
"I could be extremely happy and would still want something to "spice" it up. It's just weird!"
It's called 'being overpriveleged' and 'being manipulative to assert your power'. It's not an ethical thing to do.
If the relationship is boring, don't resort to passive-aggressive bullshit. Assert yourself like an adult and discuss it with him. Or if you have your mind made up, break off the relationship. It's like you have no concern over how stupid behavior like this would make your boyfriend feel.
What? No...I didn't realise people actually did this? I hate drama and will go out of my way to avoid it. If you're bored in your relationship - change things. Go to new places, try a new hobby out together or something, but don't start a fight. If you keep doing it, your partner will just get fed up of the drama and they'll leave you.
I have a couple of solutions for this. 1- Grow up. 2- Realize that other people matter.
I enjoy being happy, and you know the crazy devotion you see on chick flicks? The outlandishly romantic stunts the guys pull? I get those from my husband because I'm NOT careless of his feelings and creating drama for fun. Turns out those pesky men like being treated like human beings, who would have thought it?
You DO watch too many chick flicks. They aren't a realistic portrayal of men and women; they are for entertainment only, but you seem to be learning your life lessons from them! Put down the Cosmo and back away from How to Lose A Guy in Ten Days!