Monday, 07 March 2011

  • What I Love About Women


    I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not good at being a girl.
    For most of middle and high school, I was never really friends with women. I never got “female camaraderie,” or even how to talk to girls. I was just as clueless as most of my partially nerdy guy friends on how to approach these creatures. And it seemed in this world where you’re either “Girly,” or a “tom-boy,” my best attempts made both sides frown.

    Needless to say, the female friends I did make were gutsy, weird, and much more brash than our typical female counterparts. On the outside, you wouldn’t know we were any different than other girls. We went out to dinner, we got our nails done, we celebrated prom dress shopping and we always cried over boys.

    Recently, I was in the nail salon and the place was packed with both young and older women. I started to fade in and out of everyone’s conversations mulling over my own life but what I did hear caught my attention. Two young girls over pedicures discussed the complexities of boys and what they didn’t understand about them.

    I felt a sad pang thinking it would take years, sometimes even a lifetime, to get the answers they were seeking. But no different than the sixteen-year-olds were the women sitting parallel discussing their husbands, their recent flings, or the needy/creepy guy who won’t stop calling. Basically, all the woes, joys, and mysteries that the male race brings to us. For the first time in my life, something clicked in me being around these women.

    All women, admittedly or not, feel uncomfortable around one another. We know how the others think, that we are more susceptible to judge one another and wound one another with our bitchiness. Let’s face it, women are scary. But the one thing that always seems to fill out the awkwardness between women, are men.

    Turning twenty-one, I realized my relationship problems had finally hit a parallel with every other woman. We were now all dating the same complicated men and dealing with the same roulette of issues. The popular girls from high school who I could never see myself talking to, suddenly shared many of the same emotions as me. Girls who are broken-hearted or who have been stepped on by a man can become best friends based on this alone. It’s a miraculous unity, women trying to understand the male race.

    But just as the boys and men who’ve hurt us, we’re flawed too. We stab each other in the back. We become “frenemys,” we call each other sluts and steal each other’s boyfriends. It’s funny how the one thing we usually fight over, is the same thing that brings us closer.

    Despite all of this, what I love most about women, when push comes to shove, is that  women are always well equipped to be instant best friends, confidants, and defenders. It’s their flawless ability to drop their walls or their cool bitch attitude to stand up for one another or insert advice when it’s most needed.

    Women are the ones who hand you tissues when you realize in horror that your stall is tapped out. Women are the ones who not only hold, but braid back your hair at parties when you’re retching up your guts. Women are the people they tell you to first approach when you’re lost as a kid.

    Women will compliment your shoes, your hair, your new dress; these micro details we strive to perfect before leaving the house. Women are our mothers, our sisters, our gym buddies, our best friends. So why is it, as women, we don’t always give them credit? With all the things we’re capable of doing when we’re together and unified. (Remember the women’s suffrage movement?) Think of all the endless possibilities we could accomplish if we could do that today. 

    So tell me readers, do you ever feel uncomfortable around women? Do you find yourself friends with men more often? And what do YOU love most about women?

Comments (22)

  • UnconventionalButterfly@xanga

    Honestly, most of my close friends are guys. Yes, I do have some girls that are friends but its just easier to talk to my guy friends about my problems. I can even talk to them about my period woahs and they'll understand. They seem to give me more of the advice that I need, rather than the "omg i'm so sorry" pity stuff that girls seem to give. Maybe I'm just a little weird haha

  • Sand_notes@xanga

    I'll admit it, I feel uncomfortable around women I don't know. But what's strange is that I'm only uncomfortable around them if they're confident. If it's obvious that they're insecure, then I feel perfectly normal around them. 

    But I like your take on women. I've never thought of it that way.
  • Thumper49047@xanga

    As a guy, I have the same feeling around men. Intimidation, judgement, ridicule, their ignorance, infantility, lack of modesty/humility and arrogance.

  • Kazydai@mancouch
    I used to have a lot of female friends, but they just started to get on my nerves with the things you mentioned above. I tend to hang out with myself most often.
  • ccccourage@xanga

    I agree! I used to have a hard time trusting women, but in my twenties I realized the things you mention, that even though guys are fun, generally laid back, etc, I NEED the women in my life on a basic level because they share the same experiences. I learned to put more energy into my relationships with my own gender and my life has been richer for it.

  • Hinase@xanga

    @UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - Nah, you aren't weird =D  I feel pretty much the same..most of my friends are guys..and though I do have some friends that are girls..I'm reluctant to talk to most of them about anything. I feel more open with my guy friends. 

  • springg11@xanga

    I think many women are like that, but I am not. I wish I was, but like I said, I'm just not. I'm not like all caring and nice. I think I feel more comfortable talking to guys once I get to break that ice, but before the ice breaker, YES it's pretty intimidating to talk to guys.. especially if theyre like good looking. haha

  • Milu94@xanga

    all of my friends are girls and i've never thought about all these stuff. however, i do think that men can be both what brings us together AND what tears us apart.

  • P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga

    most of my best friends were tomboys. the girl in our group of friends that seemed to dislike me was this girly girl because I can be girly in a fashion sense, so she saw competition as far as who gets more attention. I wasn't competing with her though but she seemed to be because when I'd dye my hair or she saw me wearing something, I'd see her looking like me the next time that we'd hang out and she would criticize me on where I shopped because she thinks that her style is better than mine but she copied me;wtf. she called me a slut one time for how I looked but she was the actual literal slut, who boasted about the casual sex that she had. anyway, my tomboy friends on the other hand didn't care and we got along without superficial problems. so it is true that some women feel threatened by other women. I prefer tomboys as friends. I can't stand most males. I usually feel that they are assholes and then when I talk to my female friends, I feel this connection that we are on the same wavelength easier but of course, I can't stand some women, too. so I think I get along best with people who are either tomboys or gay men, who aren't the typical gender stereotype.

  • rabbitsarecool14@xanga

    i don't have more of either friend.  i simply don't have many friends in general.  i wish i had many girl friends that were comforting, go out shopping with me and other silly stuff that is so unique in a girl friendship.  i also wish i had more guy friends that wanted to be my friends simply for the fact and not because of a previous attraction to me.  for some reason people are not drawn to me even if i think i'm perfectly pleasant and pretty logical.  then again, i'm pretty picky too, i cannot just ignore it when people aren't on my same wavelength for the sake of making friends.  i'd rather be alone than fake being friends with people.

    i do feel uncomfortable around women because i feel like many times they judge me more.  what i like about women is that they like to talk and sometimes i just want to talk about stupid silly stuff.
  • TheSecretLifeOfPandas@xanga

    I'm a total girl's girl.

    I love women.
    I'm really girly, I love dresses and skirts and heels and wearing makeup and frilly underwear etc.
    my best friends are girls.
    I'm not the backstabbing type, I'm really loyal to my girlfriends and I will always take my friend's side when they are being attacked.
    I hate when girls say they don't have girl friends but just guy friends (let me finish because I know there are girls not like this, I'm talking about a specific type)

    because

     girls are bitches and two faced. I hate when they say that all girls are bitches and catty. 
    hate it.
    It's usually that those girls are bitches themselves.
    Where's the sisterhood??? lol. 
    but I can understand women who are more comfortable with men.


    sometimes I think it may be a confidence issue. I'm confident in myself so I'm not scared of girls judging me or my appearance or what have you. since a lot of times we are sizing each other up.
  • MrsJenBean@xanga

    Like a lot of single girls, I thought most of my friends were men, until I got engaged, and nearly all of them dropped me like a hot potato.


    They had been interested in me, though they treated me as a friend. Once I was off the market, I was no longer of any interest to most of them- one stuck with me.


    Now most of my friends are women, and yes, women have great potential for kindness, nurturing, and understanding. It's too bad when some of us choose to engage in unwomanly behavior, like being a homewrecker or just plain mean, stupid, or illogical. It makes all of us look bad.


    We really could change the world if all of us tried to reach our full potential as good women.

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  • millionofstars@xanga

    I have a good mix of girlfriends and guy friends. I get along with them all reasonably well. I love that I can be myself with a girl or a guy. I can talk about anything with my girlfriends, be it about shopping, work, music, celebrities, philosophy (yes we do talk deeply about this topic), current events, working out, and yes boy problems. With my guy friends I can talk about pretty much anything as well.


    As women we need to find those people who will be good for us and to us. Women can become stronger people in this world when we nurture our female friendships. Women can change this world for the better.


    This will greatly benefit every woman, man, child, and animal.

  • naiveyetoptimistic@xanga

    "Let’s face it, women are scary. " Lol. Honestly, this is hilarious. Most of my friends are guys because most other girls just love drama more than me, on the whole.

  • Jamesmuse@xanga

    The answer to all my "girl" friend problems: Gay and, often, bisexual men. I just don't like a lot of girls where I live. They're... very horrible. However, the guys (straight, gay, bisexual, transsexual, plaid, purple, whatever your flavour) - they're excellent. I have a lot in common them because I'm an incredible tom-boy deep down. I love cars, classic cars specifically, violence on television, vulgar humour, and I hate chick flicks. But it's nice to balance the straight guys with some gay friends. I don't aggressively search out gay men to become friends with them. We just naturally find each other and then there's my semi-girly talk person. We can talk fashion and dating and men and it's absolutely lovely. Plus they're often a bit more sensitive and less catty than all of my old friends who were girls.

  • chadwilly@xanga

    Hmmm a lot of my friends are men, but a lot of my friends are girls. Sure I'm a kooky girl and I'm not interested in nails/shopping/girl magazines/weight/the usual crap but my girl friends understand that. 

    What do I love about women? I love that you can have a good conversation about your feelings. When I hang around with my boyfriends friends I always seem to be outnumbered by men so I always ALWAYS appreciate another female companion, even if she's the girly type just to even things out a bit,I think balance is good.
  • kn1ghtviper21@xanga

    I'm not the talkative type like most girls/women around me so there are times I feel uncomfortable around women.  I also have a short attention span so it makes it hard for me to listen to women talk on and on about things.  I tend to have an easier time making and keeping male friends since with them, I can answer their questions with one word or ask them a question without rambling.  I'm in business and most of the time people talk to be superficial so in my personal life, I tend to try to stay away from people talking just to pretend to like me.  Lol. 


    What do I love about women?  Definitely the majority of women clean up after themselves.  When I'm going fishing or going out with a group of guys, they tend to throw their things everywhere and when it's time to leave we spend some much time looking for their things. 
  • rAzOrKisS09@xanga

    I love this post. It's really well written also. Thanks :)

  • rAzOrKisS09@xanga

    Also, I think it's funny that I once signed up for a dating site looking for a cute local guy and ended up meeting a girl who has since become a good friend :)

  • chameleonkisses@xanga

    I really liked this post. One of the best ones I've seen in the featured articles, in my time of being a Xanga user.

  • rahelbeeh@xanga
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