Sunday, 06 March 2011
-
Help Needed - New to "Dating"
The guy who I was seeing accused me of being a serial monogamist and subsequently dumped me on Feb 13th.
I admit it, I've never "just dated" before. I always became the girlfriend shortly after getting that "chemistry" moment. So, I guess "girlfriend" was really the only role I knew how to play.
What are some usual dating tips you give to a person like me?
I mean, I know my way around human bodies so I'm not exactly "pure." But it does seem like I'm missing some key pieces of information in terms of what to do on dates.What exactly is normal dating etiquette?
I find it all very convoluted and a bit disheartening. I'm used to just showing people who and what I am right away. But I have found out that too much honesty at first meeting may cause a false positive. False intimacy. I think that's why J and I failed.
It's something I'm working on.
Is there any helpful advice you can offer?
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: tyger@xanga
- Name: tyger
- About Me: Average New York City female. Quirks and all.
-
Lifetime
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 2313 Comments: 0 18 View all posts by tyger@xanga
Comments (17)
I would say only revealing bits about yourself on each date. If you reveal too much then they don't have any work to do on their own. Let them find out about you gradually.
Just be yourself, don't put up airs or lie about even small things. But remember not to talk about only just yourself on the first date. And don't take things too fast either, or force things on people. Feelings. Always be careful.
Relax, dating is about having fun so make that your top priority. Dont be too serious but still be yourself.
@clulessJ@xanga - O_O Ohhh...I see. So what's the difference between "a date" and "hanging out"? If there is anything.
Anyway..*waits for more comments to spawn* >.
--To the poster, I really have none. I am in the same situation except I can't really slowly tell them anything-- >.> I seem to only fall for girls I've already known for a long time.
Hmmm...well, coming from someone who only has experience with serial dating (although I've always wanted to be someone's girlfriend), it's all about having fun. You have to make sure that you don't get too invested in the other person---which takes a lot of restraint sometimes. To be honest, dating multiple people at the same time isn't all it's cracked up to be. It can be really frustrating sometimes. If you want to be in a relationship with one person, don't take my advice. It sounds to me like you and J were looking for something completely different, so it's probably good that he broke it off.
Oooooooooooh I am gonna monitor this closely :) I wanna know some tips on this tooo! Always the BF never the date, I wanna try it!!! :D
I don't go on dates before I decide to be their girlfriend. I just ask them a shit-load of questions about their genetics and family's health history and future plans after seducing them into submission.
dumped for being a serial monogamist who is serious and loyal about relationships....oh geez. I wouldn't want to be with a guy like that either. no advice. just my reaction to the blog
Umm ... I think your boyfriend was a jerk. I mean, you should be loved for who you are, not whether you are a "girlfriend" or not. I think he just wanted an excuse to dump you, plain and simple. The best thing he could attack was that you were too "girlfriend." Come on, that's just lame. Don't change who you are. I am sure there are plenty of guys who would appreciate their girlfriend being a "girlfriend."
I don't think there's anything wrong with being serious about a relationship. Clearly, J was just looking for a "fling," and he dumped you because he wasn't ready to commit. It's not your fault, it's just that you two have different goals from the start. You don't have to play the fields if that's not what you want. It sounds like you know what you want, so you go for it.
However, if you really want to "date" for longer than you have before becoming a "gf," then you can be yourself, but not tell the guy everything about yourself on your first date. Tell him some things about yourself and ask him some things about himself. It's an exchange of information and the fun part about dating is to get to know each other, so that you can decide whether or not to get move forward to the "bf/gf stage."
In my opinion, dating isn't THAT different than being a gf. It's just that you don't show yourself completely yet when you are dating and you kind of get more nervous than when you guys are a couple. I guess try to go to fun places where you can talk about each other and just reveal buts and pieces.
hmm... i'm on the same boat.
but I guess my situation is a little different - the guy who wants to date me already has a gf - so what does this mean then? :\
I don't want to sound redundant, but the key to having a good time is to just try to have fun. If you want to date around for a while...I never could fathom that...then it is as simple as your schedule book. Don't spend all the time talking about dreams as this is likely to signal a desire for a more serious relationship. Keep in mind that the person who is more invested will get hurt the worst if the relationship fails. This is, in my opinion, the key to dating -ensuring that the other person cares about you more then you care about them. This way you control the relationship lead it the way you want...
However if you really aren't into dating around and truely prefer being a gf...There is nothing wrong with that...I have not been single in a long time...Sometimes, opening with too much honesty can cause problems. Most people think that others will hide some things about themselves and if you dont it can lead to the false conception that you are hiding the truth...an odd phenomenon...but since, from your description, honesty seems important to you, you dont have to lie or conceal things from your date/ bf, my favorite technique is only to answer questions that my partner asked me when we first started going out...
I hope this helped...and don't take what others think about you too seriously...other people usually can't see into your situations the way you can so their comments can sometimes be unhelpful or even harmful...
Best of luck
be yourself and someone you're not
this website is very good, you can go and see it
http://www.shoes4world.com/
thank you
جروح انسان
جروح
انسان
منتديات جروح انسان
@titi1108@xanga - from personal experience, it means he's a jerk and you deserve better :) if he can cheat on her, he can cheat on you.