After over-analyzing recent activity on my ex-boyfriend/renewed-love-interest's Facebook page for the thousandth time in 3 days, I finally decided to deactivate my own Facebook account.
When friends asked about my decision, I mumbled something about needing more time to focus on my work and my massive workload for my classes -- not a complete lie as I have now had a lot more time for both. However, aside from the increased productivity, I have also seen a sharp decrease in stress and sharp increase in my own happiness.
I no longer see every girl with a Facebook page as a threat to me, and I no longer spend hours upon hours poring over the "personal" lives of human beings whom, were it not for Facebook, I really wouldn't care about at all.
I no longer spend the large majority of my day digging for information that might be detrimental to any blossoming relationship.
With 1 in 5 marriages ending as a result of information found on Facebook, we have to consider where we should draw the line. Midway through my relationship with the aforementioned ex-boyfriend, he decided to deactivate his own Facebook account, and only recently reactivated it.
At the time I thought he was being jealous and childish, though I now realize that him not having a page probably kept our relationship going a lot longer.
It kept illogical jealousies at bay, and kept us from many of the unnecessary arguments that I watched other couples go through, that were a direct result of information and pictures posted on Facebook.
As I explore a possible future with my ex, I am definitely considering going Facebook-free for the duration of time to save myself the unnecessary stress.
Has Facebook been more damaging or helpful to your relationship?
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Comments (56)
It has never done that because I don't let websites get in the way of my relationship with my bf. I know to have a balance between real life and online life.
I don't have a facebook so I wouldn't know.
If a social networking site ruins your relationship, it wasn't much of a relationship to begin with.
People really let technology and the Internet hold way too much importance in their lives.
@Hinase@xanga - @UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - I agree with both of you.
facebook stalking :o
haha. fb is a killer
I deleted mine. My life has been fuller, happier, and more purposeful ever since. I live my life for me, not to take pictures. I did it just to try it but I never went back, it's been 6 months. See how long you can go! Even going home on holidays and seeing my family, my mom always says "I'm so glad you're not on facebook, you're in the moment here with us, not somewhere else watching what your friends are doing." My grades are better, too.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - This.
i got rid of my facebook before my current relationship got heavy, and it was a personal decision that didn't have to do with my relationship. i can figure pretty well that i would probably be a lot more stressed by seeing photos or comments on my bfs page, so i'm glad i don't have to deal with it. plus, as others have noted, getting rid of facebook brings real life back into the picture.
1 in 5 marriages ends as a result of information found on facebook? lol, from where did THAT stat come?
i guess people now cite "irreconcilable difference (plus shit found on fbook)."
This seems a little... strange.
I think if you trust your partner, then you wouldn't jump to those conclusions. And if those amounts of people broke up because of stuff that surfaced on Facebook maybe they should have broken up anyway. I'm not afraid of anything I put on facebook nor do I really care who writes on my partner's wall, because there's nothing to be worried about.
That's my personal view.
@SentimentalDoll@xanga - Please have my babies.
If you're that easily spurred to jealousy, then Facebook probably had nothing to do with it.
Facebook doesn't end relationships, people end relationships. It's just a website.
FB is just the catalyst in a lot of these cases. The real problems are often rooted a lot deeper than Facebook and require more than just de-activating your account to fix.
The problem with Facebook is that too many people rely on it to do their communication for them. It's not meant to replace interaction and personal communication with your friends, family, or significant other. All it does is help facilitate that. You are still responsible for making sure it doesn't control your life.
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You can't really control what other people are going to post to your (ex)significant other's wall or what pictures they are going to be tagged in. If anything concerns you, you should be able to just talk to him or her about it and why it bothers you, and work out a solution that will make both of you happy.
I've never had an issue with Facebook and my boyfriend except for this one time where a girl posted on his wall, "Yeah I changed my picture because I think you would like it ;)" and this was only a few months after he and I started dating. I didn't flip a shit or anything; I sat down and talked to him about it and said that it made me uncomfortable that she posted that, and he agreed that it wasn't a good thing for her to have written. No big deal. Still together two years later haha
The only issue I've had with Facebook is that stupid "check-in" thing. I never do it, but my boyfriend "checked in" at a bowling alley with some girl. We weren't officially dating, so I didn't say anything, but ever since then, I get a little irked when I see her picture pop up on his friends list, or when she writes on his wall. She also has the option disabled where I can't see when he writes to her, so that bothers me a little bit. I've basically just tried to ignore it though, because she's his friend, who cares. He's with me and not her. If you let it, Facebook can affect your relationship negatively. It can make you paranoid and think things that you wouldn't think if there were no FB.
My girlfriend doesn't have a facebook, nor does she want one. I have one, but I'm not going behind her back to do anything lol. I only use facebook for my friends. Besides I'd rather spend time with my girlfriend than be on facebook stalking some other person...lol. That's where the problem is. People spend too much time on facebook instead of being productive.
I actually thought about deactivating my FB for the same reason as well. Or at least disallowing people to post on my wall.
Meh.
what does facebook have to do with messing up a relationship? if something so trivial like facebook messes it up, then you probably shouldn't have been together. if you catch your bf/gf "cheating" on FB, then they *would have done it WITHOUT the help of FB* ...if anything you should thank FB for informing you of their lying and cheating ways before you got more involved
@AphoticxIllusion@xanga - Lol. :P Lemme ask my bf about that and I'll get back to you.
facebook is for people who can handle it, and yes. it is stalkerish. It think you have to mature to use it as well.~