One of my exes just turned 18. He also just told me that he likes me. We've dated once before during my senior year of high school when he was a freshman.
Now he's a senior, and I'm in college. His mom loves me and wants us to date again, and all of his friends keep asking me if I'm going to date him.
Most of my friends are okay with the idea of us dating again, but one isn't. Then again, she doesn't believe in dating younger guys. She's 25 and only dates older guys, like 30+, so I'm not really paying attention to her opinion. My mom, howeve,r believes that he's too young for me, but when I date someone a few years older than me, she says that that's too old.
I've known this kid for about 3 years now, & he's always been there for me. Even though I broke up with him last time we dated, he's remained an amazing friend of mine. I do like him, but I'm not sure how strong my feelings are for him, or even if I should even attempt to date him again. He's more mature than most of the guys that I've dated that were older than me, but he still has his immature moments of course.
I'm going to his Winterfest dance this coming Saturday. I know I'm too old for a high school dance, but he was so nervous while asking me, I couldn't help but say yes. He stuttered..a lot. The thing I'm worried about is the fact that he's still friends with his ex gf of 2 years.. She despises me & I definitely don't like her. While I was hanging out at his house last week, she called him crying because he wouldn't tell her why he was upset at school that day. Then after they hung up, she called back 5 minutes later crying again, because he supposedly hung up on her. She's constantly causing trouble & upsetting him. Even though I've told him this a million times, he still defends her. I'm not sure I want to date him if he can't understand she's just doing it because she knows she can still hurt him, & wants to cause drama to annoy me. I've already dealt with petty high school drama, and really don't want to deal with anymore.
What are your opinions on this? Is 18 too young for a 21 year old?
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Do the pros outweigh the cons? If his ex is such a bother, do you think you could stand it to keep happening if/after you got back together with this guy?
I'm more for around your own age, but hey, my parents have 14 years between them. So whatever works for you. And he's 18, it's not like you'll be labeled *hopefully jokingly* a pedophile or something...It could be worse :) We joke in my family that as my dad entered high school, my mum had yet to crawl!
Go with what you know.
-Dragonis
18 is hardly too young for a 21 year-old. I've seen extreme age gaps in relationships, that make 3 years seem like a matter of days.
Seriously, one of my friends is 20 years younger than her husband.
My sister dated someone 10 years older than her.
If he makes you happy, and won't pull you down, then I say why not?
Depends on the person, but for the most part, yeah.
I don't think age matters TOO much, unless the immaturity you'd be dealing with is way too much drama to handle. It sounds like the biggest issue is his ex. Maybe you should talk to him about it, tell him how things have changed with you, if anything that needs to be discussed. And mention that you don't want to deal with this ex of his, so he's kind of going to have to choose what's more important to him. But if you're really not feeling it, not sure if you want to be with him, I think you need more time to figure out or maybe just drop it all together.
I used to date only guys who are older than me, only to have overlooked my best buddy who is always by my side. We both have feelings for each other but I chose to deny it then because I keep thinking that age is a factor as he is younger than me.
Don't let age be a factor of choosing the guy you want to date. If you both are of the same frequency I'm sure age isn't a barrier at all. My only concern is the drama in his life. Is he gonna sort things out with this ex girlfriend? Otherwise there's bound to be drama.
My best friend went through the same thing. I didn't really agree with it, but in the end it was her decision. My thought through the whole process was that they were both going through different times in their lives. She's going through college and he's still in high school. Other things like that. He was also playing her, but that's another story.
All of this coming from a 20 (almost 21) year old dating a 23 year old. But I feel like my boyfriend and I are both at the same place in our lives. And unfortunately I think it's different when the guys older, than when the girl is older. most girls mature faster than most boys. There are exceptions, but that's generally the way it goes. But, I have seen some relationships where the female is older work.
It's your decision ultimately.
Here's some advice: Regardless of age, date someone in the same walk of life and on the same level as you. But feel free to stop robbing the cradle Mrs. Robinson. You're not a man. You don't get those privileges. After 22, age is usually the same until you're 30. After 30, age is usually the same until you're 40. After 40, you usually stop counting.
too young (:
I think you shouldn't waste your time on someone who basically loves being stalked by his ex.
My boyfriend was 21 and I was 18 when we started dating. I'm now 19 and he's 22. I think we're kinda different in some ways because I feel he's more mature and responsible than me. But I think it all depends on the person, because not every 21-year old is mature and/or responsible nor is every 18-year old immature and/or irresponsible [I'm not, for example]. Things are kind of failing with us atm though because I'm more focused on him and making our relationship work, and he's more focused on work/school and his future. But honestly, this is your choice. Don't let anyone make your own decisions. Do what your heart wants.
Nah. If it doesn't bother you, 18 isn't too young. It's legal. I'm 23, dating a guy who's 19. We like each other, so age doesn't matter. I don't think I'd have gone to any school events if he asked me, but that's because I didn't really care for high school.
If age was the other way around in your situation then it would be okay but you are already making him seem like such a child. He stuttered..? A more mature boy wouldn't bother for high school events but you agreed to go so your maturity can be questioned as well..
Also, girls naturally mature faster than boys before they are adults so mentally, you are over five years old than him.
I personally don't think it's that big of a deal. I used to date people at least two, three years older then me. My last ex was 21 and I was 18. Maybe it's different cause he's a guy and he was the older one in which some cases people think that's okay, but just because you're 21 and he's 18 doesn't really make it a big deal. If you're relationship will work again then just go for it. I'm currently dating a guy who's 19 and I'll almost be 21 soon so I think it's not that big of a deal.
oooh... younger guy... that's different ! (& i don't mean that in a bad way... just a little unusual)
don't worry about his age, worry about how he acts and where his priorities lay. If he's 18 he's not going to be in high school much longer...so if you can handle the high school stuff for the next few months, go for it. You've known the guy for the while and can count on him, that's def a good sign. Be careful though, sometimes when you try to date your friends it doesn't go so well and it makes it impossible to go back to being friends like you were before you dated.
My friend was in this situation and it was difficult because they were in different places in their lives. She was a 21-year-old colllege junior and he was a 18-year-old high school senior. They had been together for a couple years, but once he started getting older and he went off to college he wanted freedom instead of being tied down and ended up breaking up with her..... not saying that will happen to you, just.. be careful and approach the situation with caution. What about when he finishes high school... will the two of you see each other often ? It really could just depend on what goals you both have both individually and as a couple.
Personally, I wouldn't date a guy younger than me, but that's just my opinion (my boyfriend's 26 and I'm 22.) Do what makes you (and him) happy ! :) <3
Best of luck !
age doesn't really matter so long as you like the person, but i find guys younger than me to be immature, so i try to refrain from dating them. ask yourself whether it's worth it to try dating him again.
As long as he is mature enough for you, than there should be no problem. So many girls have this predisposition toward older guys and some to the extent that it borders on creepy. There's nothing wrong with that but, you have to remember that it is only a number and not an indicator of character. If things seem like they could work, go for it. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost six years now and she's older than me.
I think that's perfectly fine. I was 17 when I dated a 21 year old. To me, age is just a number.
i dont think that age matters THAT much, but yes sometimes it does come into play. i am 18 and have dated two 21 year olds and when i was 17 a 22 year old. Yet I have been told that I am much more mature so it doesnt matter. As long as you both decide to be mature about things it shouldnt matter.
I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 21. There's nothing wrong with it, and we get along MUCH better than any of our friends that are in relationships. :) I say go for it!
I think its a person to person thing. I don't really see a problem with it, but the maturity thing is what is important. It sounds almost like you've already been dragged back into that high school stuff, and I think that in order to eliminate that it would be best to wait until he ISN'T in high school. I'm assuming he is graduating in May???
My ex boyfriend actually turns 18 this month (I think), and I'm 21 now, so it sounds like a similar situation..other than the fact that I would NEVER date him again.
I dont see why not.. but I think there's a pretty significant mental gap between 18-21.
I mean, many 18-21 yrs old americans are into partying, theyre in college, they're meeting new people, experiences all kinds of new things in life.... so it's really just as crucial as adolescent development. It's just that many 21yr olds are close to being closing their college part of their life, and kinda looking a little bit further than an 18yr old. I'm 21, but I don't think I could date an 18yrs old. I have friends that are 18, 19, 20.. and I definitely see a huge difference in the ways we view life and the way we live life, between my younger friends and I. It's also the fact that I've always had older friends (since I was like in middle school) and that kinda helped me mature faster and experience things quicker.. which lead to losing interest much faster in things that most of my friends my age take interest in.. (ex: drinking- I started drinking when I was 14.. I partied like an animal in hs. I'm already sick of partying!)
lol... I'm writing about a 22 year old guy who is about to marry someone who is 18... wow... apparently, I Don't think much of it.
The age isn't really a big deal, but it depends on where you are in your life. I am only 20 but I'm married with a baby on the way. Dating a highschooler sounds absurd to me. However, a college student can be immature (not in a bad way) and still kind of be like a high school kid.
Forget about age. You both aren't that far apart in age so that shouldn't even be an issue.
The real issue is will he stop picking up that girl's phone calls. Tell him how it makes you feel. If your his girlfriend he shouldn't be talking to ex's, if he understands then go forward with him, but if he doesn't then let him go.
First of all, let's be fair here. You stayed friends with him after the breakup, and judging by your timeline, you were friends with him while he was dating her. Now while she's being over-the-top and is obviously still into him, you can't deny that you put her in sort of the same position by being his ex and being friends with him while they were dating. Just something to think about.
I don't know why people even have to ask these questions. Obviously it doesn't matter. The only reason you're asking is because society puts these unspoken rules in place, and you're in the gray area that they don't know how to deal with. But stop and ask yourself this question: What exactly is it that would be wrong about a 21-year old dating an 18-year old. You seem to have addressed the maturity level part of this, so that's not an issue. Where exactly does the issue lie?