Thursday, 10 February 2011

  • Can't Let Go of That Certain Someone?

    Neither can I.

    I have been seeing this guy off and on for a few years. He's always the one to come back and always the one to leave. And it always seems that when I feel so close to being able to find someone else and let him go, that's when he decides to come back. But I always take him back because I love the big lug.

    I know I am not alone with this situation and that in fact so many girls also go through this very same predicament. We're stuck. In love with people who think we are expendable to them, in love with people who don't know what they want, in love with people who maybe just really are horrible at staying in a committed relationship.

    Sometimes I stop and think of other guys that I may have let slip by. Guys that could've been great if I had just let my guard down a little bit and let them in. Guys that, even if it wouldn't last forever, could at least give me the nudge I needed to get back into the dating world.

    I think that sometimes, we as girls need to step back and try to clearly think about what we are doing with ourselves here. I mean, sure...he may be the one, he may not be, but I don't think it's fair that we just sit around and wait for them to figure it out. We just need to remember sometimes that we don't need anyone who doesn't need us. We should go out and do what we want and live our lives. If they come back, then maybe it really is meant to last longer, and if not, at least we didn't waste our time.

    What do you think? Have you been a relationship like this?

     

     

Related Posts

Comments (79)

  • beauty_is_truths_smile@xanga

    Been there done that. But I made the permanent delete last year and felt better for it. I was tired of questioning and second guessing this guy. So when I cut him off completely, it felt like a weight had been lifted. I've never looked back since. Hope you do the same and move onwards and upwards.
  • Dungeonbrownies@xanga

    I think everyone hits one eventually. I wont recover and chances are neither will you. If you did it wouldnt really have been true now would it?
  • lforletty@xanga

    @Margo73@xanga - Glad to hear, I wish I was able to do that as quick as you could. I was always the one to keep holding on to try to make things work and getting left- -'' but I feel like weight off my shoulder have been lifted after I let go too.

    @Dungeonbrownies@xanga - Well said.
  • beauty_is_truths_smile@xanga

    It's not easy believe me, but time is a great healer and it worked for me. Best wishes to you.
  • XoxoAshleyElizabethXoXo@xanga

    blahhh i kno exactly what u mean!!!!
  • crazy4huddy@xanga

    Oh my god. This post is my life. The only difference is he's not the one that comes back- I make him come back. It's really weird. We broke up a year ago but have continued a "friends with benefits" relationship this whole entire time. Except, in his words, it's more than that because he "still cares about me and it's more intimate than that." I know he has feelings for me, they're just not the same as they used to be. He's been a selfish jerk the past year but I always forgive him because I don't like being traditionally single. But I am learning it is not the worst thing and I actually have a date with a DIFFERENT guy this weekend... I'm hoping this will help me see there are better things out there :) 


    Good luck to you and I think you're completely right :)
  • kn1ghtviper21@xanga

    Yep, a couple ages ago when I was still in school.  The hardest one to let go was my first college bf because we meshed so well together.  Then I realized that they were holding me back from moving on so I cut them out of my life and met a really great guy.  


    @Dungeonbrownies@xanga - So true.  Took me a LONG time to get over the first college ex...around 4 years actually.   
  • ANNA_BAPES@xanga

    i can completely agree and empathize with you on this situation. i just recently took my boyfriend of 3 years back after a long on & off relationship, but i think we can make it stick because he's done things he's never done before to get my back. i just hope it's for the better.
  • bettiebrutal@xanga

    I went through this too.  For me it went on for over 5 years and we even moved in together.  Finally I looked at our relationship and realized that he was NEVER gonna change and that even though I loved him I deserved better.  So I got the courage to break it off and he made it really hard I almost took him back a number of times, but I stayed strong.  He is now married with a baby, so that made me realize that it was just me and him that wasn't right.  It wasn't that he was bad with commitment, we just didn't fit well together.  I am so glad I broke it off cause we were stuck in a toxic relationship and were too afraid to leave for good and now we went our seperate ways and are both happy.  You have to get the courage.  I know you both probably love eachother, but somethings not right.  Free eachother and if you come back together in the future them maybe it was ment to be.  It's gonna take a lot of time to get over this, but just remember that you're not the only one, the sadness will pass and you WILL love again.
  • babixk1umzy@xanga

    It's funny how things always seem to work out that way. We always want to be with the person who treats us like shit or who could careless about us but we still keep clinging on anyways. It's hard to break the cycle, especially when you've given up so much for them, but after awhile, you just learn to get over all the bullshit, that's if you want what's best for yourself. A guy like that will never commit or settle down, especially after a few years, so waiting around longer probably will not change the situation.

  • mantiXcore@xanga

    Kid, take my advice: just break up with him.  That's very inconsiderate for him to treat you like a coat that he can hang up in the closet and come back to get when he's ready to wear it.  You are missing out on a lot of opportunities that you will never get back, and he's just slowing you down.  Don't make him and a flimsy relationship more important than what's good for you.  You're still young, and you do not have to let yourself be dragged down by someone who's clearly not truly committed to you.  You could love someone else at least as much, I promise.  There are other great guys out there who you might like a lot more than you ever liked him.
  • superGchik@xanga

    i have a rule with relationships, if it doesn't work the second time around, then it's not going to work the 3rd time.  i used to be like you until i learned my lesson.  relationships like this isn't healthy, it made me such a horrible person because i thought it was me but the truth is that we just weren't good for each other.  until i met someone good for me, i never really saw the bad in my relationship like yours.
  • PrivateMarshmellow@xanga

    if you let him go i'm sure you'll feel a big weight lifted off your shoulders. 
  • m27ohh@xanga

    amen! I think everyone can contribute to this! I had a boy who I was on and off with. He always always always could make me laugh when I was upset. He didn't get a lot of things on how to treat a girl. me in particular. He joined the marines and I was with him through all of that writing him letters not being able to talk to him at all. We went our separate ways and there were various people in between but always it went back to him. I stopped talking to him completely for a long long time, and he changed a lot of things, and reevaluated it. I just accepted that no one was ever going to compare. I just accepted it and said I do<3
  • anonymous

    After four years of a relationship like that I gave up on it.

    I found someone who I knew I wanted to be with,

    And who knew he wanted to be with me.

    I never want anyone going through a relationship like that. I want everyone to find the love and never have to question it. Unfortunately, life ain't that easy.

    Good Luck!
  • catchandrelease_x@xanga

    I'm in a relationship like this right now and I don't know what to do...
  • anonymous

    I'm in one right now. But I always try to reason with myself...if I am supposed to meet and talk to someone else more, then the cards will play that way.  For now, I guess it looks like I'm supposed to talk to the one that keeps coming back.
  • sunshinedust_xox@xanga

    I think we've all been there and done that at some point. And as hard as it is, you need to end it. There's a reason that he isn't sticking around, and it's because he's not supposed to. It took me two years to end my on-again off-again relationship, and it definitely hasn't been easy, but I've been with someone now for the past six months that made me realize that what I had with my ex wasn't really what love is supposed to be like. Trust me, it gets better, and once you leave them, the right person will come along. Good luck.
  • CluelessHeart@xanga

    HEY to all of you who responded... some of you say that you needed to end it, it would have never worked, etc... 

    and then some of you say you gave it enough time apart and eventually it fell into place
    WHO IS RIGHT THEN!??!?!AHHHHHHHH.... 
    or is it just bound to go either way, no way of knowing for sure? 
  • The_Eyes_Of_A_Painter@xanga

    You said it right off the bat..."No one needs someone who doesn't need us" So why do we insist on having someone that we know deep down inside is not right for us ? Well, for starters we are lonely.. and this " fly by night person" fills this void. A void that makes us feel right for a short period of time and a misunderstanding on our part that we actually think somehow we have the power to change the other person. When in reality, people don't change and don't want to change.
  • CrAdLe2daGrAve@xanga

    been in this situation for the last 5 years.. we just argue and have so much drama.. but we still see each other.. neither one of us is willing to admit it's not going to change.. it sucks when you love someone so much that it hurts..
  • JulesCaesar@xanga

    @bettiebrutal@xanga - Totally agree. Love sucks when you know a relationship is not good for you and stunts your growth. It also sucks when you learn so much from it and miss them so much, but dont know what to say to empathize it. True love is hard to come by nowadays.
  • worthlessbones@xanga

    im in the same boat right now. right now me & this guy are not talking, in a week he'll show up, things will get good, and then he'll eventually leave- again. 


    but this time im trying to keep him from coming back. its a vicious cycle. 
  • staroutlaw@xanga

    this is exactly my situation. it sucks
  • neon_kaleidoscope_eyes@xanga

    I'm exactly the same, can't get over one, and I wonder who I let slip by.  Some really good ones I think. 

  • Sign in to Comment

  • Give eProps (?)

About the Author

Tags

Who recommended?

Who gave the eProps?

2 eProps from:

0 eProps from: