I can't count how many times I've heard the following phrase come out of a guy's mouth: "After we broke up, she became such a slut, she slept with someone like a month later."
The phrase itself doesn't bother me. Especially considering the altering lengths of relationships, a month might be very soon to be moving on. What bothers me is that if a guy were to move on within a month, nobody would question it.
Likewise, a guy who racks up a lot of sexual partners and switches girlfriends more than underwear is considered "skilled" while girls who do the same have far less pleasant adjectives associated with them.
I am not a feminist by any means. But I do believe that when it comes to sex, we've become sophisticated enough as a culture to understand that there needs to be a certain level of equality.
With advances in birth control, sexual education, sex toys, and the understanding that women's orgasms are just as good if not better than men's, we should be regarding one another's sexual histories neutrally.
Essentially, if the number wouldn't shock you for a guy, it shouldn't for a girl either.
Do you have differing opinions for men and women's sexual histories?
Recommend
Comments (202)
meh. i dont give a fuck.
Honestly, I haven't heard that double standard in a long time. It might be fading.
Honestly, I don't care. What people do in their personal lives are none of my business and that includes their sexual history. How about everyone that has ever done anything with anyone is a slut? How about saying that? That evens the playing field I think. But honestly, I don't care. People can do what they want. Double standards are stupid and so are the people that believe in them.
I wouldn't call her a slut, I'd just think she really didn't give a flying fuck about me.
Believe it or not, fight it or don't, there's no such thing as equality.
I don't really believe in double standards, even though I am aware they exist. To me, no matter what your gender, if you are promiscuous, then that's what you are. No double standard about it. However, that's a personal choice. I don't care who other people sleep with. I just hope if they do sleep around, they do it safely and get tested.
Side note, as I'm taking women's studies this semester, you're basically a feminist if you believe women should be equal to men and all that. You're just not a femi-NAZI. :P
And of course there's a double standard. There's always been a double standard. Why do you think feminism exists in the first place?
It takes a long time to take down culturally-imposed standards. Women aren't getting lynched for having sex before marriage anymore, so I'd say that's an improvement.
holy shit, this again? why is it so difficult to understand? girls don't have to do anything to get laid. guys have to put in a LOT of effort. when you have to do more than just spread your legs to get some action, maybe we can have a discussion about why a slutty girl isn't a slut.
And two, we'll never be equal. Legally, we may be, but slander know no limits.
I haven't heard that double standard recently. I will for sure take into account (in a negative way) how many girls a guy has been with. Guys don't get any slack from me.
Yea, but you have to excuse things said in anger. He's pissed because she moved on so fast & he probably hasn't. That's why she's a "slut", because of hurt feelings. Not a double standards.
I dunno, i don't think there's really a double standard anymore but honestly, i won't date anyone, guy or girl, if they sleep around. I just don't want to end up with a disease, & i refuse to sleep around, too. Just take care of yourself & who cares what anyone else thinks.
i just think that we've become animals...
Feminism is the belief that men and women should be considered equal. So, how can you deny to being a feminist, and still have written this post?
Women have come a long way from the housewife standard of the fifties. Many households now have two working parents. I completely believe in striking a balance with your SO, whatever that means, as long as you're both content.
@thepsychoticraccoon@xanga, @Just_Another__Disaster@xanga - Good comments. ^_^
I don't really believe in the double standard. A sluts a slut no matter what parts are in their pants. I don't want to be with a man that's had a ton of partners, therefore I don't intend to have a ton of partners.
"I am not a feminist by any means. But I do believe that when it comes to sex, we've become sophisticated enough as a culture to understand that there needs to be a certain level of equality."
You so don't understand what feminism means.Why can't people just enjoy having safe sex? I agree that there's a problem with unsafe sex and promiscuity, but c'mon. If you're wrappin' the tool and using a secondary form of birth control to not get pregnant (if that's your prerogative), and being generally careful, enjoy what you have.
People should be comfortable with whatever level of interaction they want. I'm not saying people who practice abstinence until marriage should go out and bang everyone, but I don't think it's so bad when people just want to go enjoy themselves.
@RaVnR@xanga - I was about to say the same...
I still will actually.
Methinks you don't know what the word "feminist" means.
But that would make you one of the majority anyway.
I'd be interested to find out what you think it means.
the double standard certainly sucks.
I personally combat it by using the expressing "man-whore" more frequently and loosely.
Although in some situations a person calling their ex a slut because they slept with someone else after the relationship suggests two other problems:
That person thinks that being in a relationship is like owning another person, that's an unhealthy view of relationships in my view.Also, the person still thinks he owns the person after the relationship.
Double-bad.
-Alexander the Zounderkite
Is it still considered a 'double standard' in a lesbian relationship (with a very femm girl (acting as the girl in the relationship) and a more butch girl (acting as the guy in the relationship))? I admit, I am borderline slut, but when my last ex broke up with me to be with another girl, she called me a slut for sleeping with somebody else ...even though she was sleeping with the other girl that same day she broke up with me. Where is the standard there? I think that it is fading and people are just being creul because feelings get hurt. It's like @aCe_KeiAnar@xanga said; I think the word slips out because a person just thinks that the other just didn't give a fuck. It has nothing to do with a double standard. It's just people being douchey and calling people names because it makes them feel better.
I think the reason for double standard is: a penis who pees many times and a toilet who has been peed the same many times. Which one is more disgusting?
I think its silly that women think they need to have sexual histories similar to that of men in order for this double standard to be gone. Its like stooping to their level, when we should just hold ourselves up higher.
of course we're still living in double standard. women may have a higher number nowadays in the workplace, the "glass ceiling" might have become a bit more breakable in different work force, but when a woman is successfully situated in her career, she has to give up other parts of a "woman-hood". She has to work twice as hard and she's called all sorts of names for working hard to be an expert in her field, when a guy does it, he's just "great at his work." When a girl wants to break all ties and travel the world, meet different people and broaden her horizons, more often than not, she is portrayed either a slutty individual, gold digger or a lesbian. for what? because she doesn't have a husband, a home to take care of and children to bear?
-_-; it still exists. Women have come a far and turbulent path up to now, but we still live in a world where they've elected their first African American president and it's still viewed with awe and a mix of strange bewilderness. When are we going to elect a woman for presidency or prime minister spot?
My view on this issue is that sex should be saved for marriage. That doesn't mean it always happens unfortunately. We are all sinners. And we all fall short of God's expectations. But, with that in mind, it doesn't give us an excuse to just give up. We do need to try to meet God's expectations. So sex should still be saved for marriage. My boyfriend and I are both virgins and we both plan on staying that way until our wedding night.
every time i hear that from a guy's mouth, i just want to sucker punch them. it ticks me off that it's ok for guys to go slut themselves around but if she does it too, they make it known that she's a slut. what if i'm just a lusty person or that i love to have sex or my sex drive is high. i'm not going to judge a person by how many sex partners they have or how much sex they want. guys who say that are just insecure about themselves.