Sunday, 30 January 2011
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MEN: Have You Ever Been Used For Sex?
Today, my ex wrote me on facebook.
It was rather odd hearing from him because it's been awhile since he and I actually talked. I soon got an idea that either he was drunk, and wanted to brag about how fucked up he was and what sexy girls were around. Or he was having issues with family, friends, or girlfriends.
Either way, I knew there was something wrong because the only time I hear from him is when there is something wrong. Not that I care, but you know what I mean.
The last time I heard from him was when he got together with one of my friends, and they were having the best sex ever.
She came back and told me how horrible he was. Shit, even I could have told her that. But hey, she had to see for herself, just like she had to see how effed up of a boyfriend he really was.
Telling her the truth is like telling my dog not to sniff another dogs ass. Very useless.
"She used me for sex!" he messaged me, sounding like he was very surprised. I sort of giggled to myself and was like "Oh! Really?!?I'm sorry to hear that!" As if I was really going to give into that bullcrap.
"Every girl I have sex with leaves me afterwards. I'm good in bed. I'm a good guy. I'm tired of girls using me for my body," he wrote.
I really wanted to reach into my computer and choke him. Was he really trying to victimize himself AFTER he bragged about how good of a sex life he had compared to mine? Just like he brags about everything else because all he think I do is mope around and think about his sorry ass. Oh please. He is the last person I would ever think about.
LADIES: Have you ever used a guy for sex? If so, how did it make you feel? How did it make him feel?
GENTLEMEN: Have you ever been used for sex? How did it make you feel?
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- From: NeoSoul20@xanga
- Name: NeoSoul20
- Location: New York City, New York, United States
- About Me: I live in nyc. I love to blog. And I am currently enrolling in college.
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Comments (76)
My philosophy is I'll get pissed off AFTER my orgasm.
Heh, but on a serious note. We're adults, if I really don't know the woman then I don't really care. In the end we both get what we want. However, if we were boyfriend and girlfriend and then I found out she was just using me for sex then I'd be a bit insulted. I could have used all that time to pursue a more meaningful relationship and kept her as a friend...with benefits.
On a side note. Why keep talking to your ex if he's that pathetic? And also, your FRIEND slept with your ex? Might want to ease off of her a bit.
All and all, great post!
I've used guys for sex, but I always told them up front that sex was all I wanted and I didn't pretend to want something deeper. Usually, they don't have any problem with that because, when I approach it that way, they just wanted sex too.
Yes.......... or so i thought!
Then I ended up falling for him. haha
@Guteman91 - if adults are supposed to be all mature, i see no problem with her friend sleeping with her ex, OR maintaining contact with him.
i think anyone, male or female, would feel insulted after being "used" for sex, simply because that kind of implies that they didn't know that was the only goal of the relationship. (i use the term relationship lightly, to mean any kind.)
dude_this_world_sux@xanga - True adults are supposed to be mature but we all know that isn't always the case. Plus I was speaking from the view of "Guy Code". Personally I wouldn't go near a woman that a friend of mine had previously been in a relationship with out of respect for that friend and their feelings. Furthermore, I'm all for maintaining contact with ex's but if it's a two way, respectful relationship. This guy just sounds like a pathetic, self pitying, moronic boy. Of course that's just from speculation.
As for the term "used" we're just arguing about semantics. Everyone will have a different viewpoint.
How funny, I was having sex with this guy and after we got done one time, he goes, "you're just using me for sex, aren't you?" It was more of a joke, but he still said it. I was, sort of, but he was equally using me as well. It was a friends with benefits sort of thing. I was okay with it because neither one of us expected anything more or anything less.
@dude_this_world_sux@xanga - @Guteman91 - There's no problem with keeping contact with your ex, but if he's pathetic, I'd say the mature thing would be not to talk to him...
She still kind of sounds bitter, to me. You can tell she's angry that he brags and victimizes himself, and takes pleasure in the fact that others seem to also think he's bad in bed.
I'd say that's your fault. If you dated him and he never improved, then you didn't do your job and speak up about what you like / don't like.
My ex loved getting used for sex. It made him feel like he was a God who could give people what they wanted and bragged to me about how he could go 6 hours at a time with a girl and not stop...and he wonders now why no one wants a serious relationship with him anymore.
when me and my boyfriend were having a rough patch and i lost almost all feelings for him, i didnt really care about him, and used him just for sex, ahahah, it was better sex than before ..maybe cuz i used up all my anger out that way? lmfaoooo. uhhh all my other ex's i never liked them. i used all of them for sex, it was like a chain of eachothers enemies .. .so i dated each boyfriends enemy to piss him off for some reason.. made me a stronger person, ive learned to block out feelings and it helps me alot becuase im usually a person that if i give in to emotions, theyll eat me alive and drive me insane.. so it helped me.
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I got used for a few favors, but not sex. She was willing to let me do anything but that with her. Typical female behavior.
I was used for sex, but there was a mutual understanding that was going on. So no harm done to either party. Except now I'm down a shirt.
@LaPerfeccion@xanga - DAAAMMN..... i almost missed this comment. So you slept with your boyfriend's enemies just to piss them off - and that made you a stronger person? I'm missing something here..
@Disharmonic_Convergence@xanga - See, now, that just sounds bitter to me. It's not typical behavior, because not every woman is like that (in fact, I know very very few who are.) If you're seeing this kind of thing a lot, then you probably need to take a look at the kind of women you're surrounding yourself with...and then make some improvements. Sheesh.
I've used two guys for sex after my break up with my boyfriend. One of the guys actually started dating a girl after he went to DC for a school thing and didn't tell me until he came back, but it was probably the least upsetting thing ever because I had started college and there were plenty of other fish in the sea haha. The second guy and I had been friends with benefits before I started dating my boyfriend so I didn't think of it as using him until way after it had happened because he and I ended up talking after I got back together with my ex and he told me he actually really liked me and had always wanted to date me so he could treat me right and that he was mad at himself for never pursuing me pass the bedroom. Anyway, I felt kind of bad about that one, but we had been fwb for like 6 months and then the whole sex thing only happened once in October and I didn't get back with my ex until January so he had time to charm me. I don't feel too bad about that one anymore because it happened 2 years ago.
I think a LOT more guys get used for sex than realize it, or at least admit it. Girls talk...you hear things.
There is a Marilyn Manson song "User Friendly" that speaks of this, the
lyrics are "She says; I'm not in love, but I'm gonna fuck you till,
someone better, comes along"
i've used guys for sex before, i still do. currently i'm using 2 guys, and if they mind they haven't said so
Em, not really... I sort of used one guy but he pressured me into it (I was drunk, and just got off another guy, hahaha)... then he called me endlessly for weeks afterwards trying to get a date. I was unpleasantly surprised, because I was not interested. I didn't like his lip ring or his youngness. I already had a boyfriend by then. hahaha I swear that was the sluttiest day of my life.
@JulesCaesar@xanga - LOL
Also, it sounds like there's still a lot of bitterness between your ex and yourself. Might do both of you some good to disown one another. I also had to learn this the hard way.
I'm pretty good, and they stick around until they can't deal with me anymore lol.
Like I always say, I'm difficult to deal with. I don't think I have ever been used for sex, but who knows.
Quite possibly. My senior year in highschool. Well. The situation is pretty bad. This girl... who was very pretty and had black hair, and had a boyfriend. But, her boyfriend was in the hospital awaiting a heart transplant.
So. While he was afk. Her and I hit it off the first day we hung out. I had sex with her 4 times that night.
It lasted for a couple months. Can't remember how many. 3 or 4, maybe 5. I continued to have sex with her.
But when her bf came out of the hospital. She stayed with him lol... but its my fault. I could have had her if I wanted. So. In the end. All I really was, was just a fuck buddy. LOL oh well.
I felt great! In fact, the lady gave me one hell of a tip ! Basically because I didn't act like a dog. You know, roll over and play dead after the fact.
Guys get used for sex all the time...that is how women get what they want out of us.
If you don't care about the person it isn't a big deal. If you do, the only natural reaction is to feel used. There is a big difference between sleeping with a girl you actually spend time with, and one who stops over for a fuck.
Hm if he's using women to brag about his sex life then it didn't seem like he's looking for a lasting relationship with anyone anyway. I don't doubt it happens, but he has no right to bitch at you!