Here's the scene. My boyfriend and I are cuddled together in bed kissing and whispering to one another. Mid-kisses my phone begins to vibrate by our heads. I pick it up and begin responding to a text.
My boyfriend grabs my phone away and mimes throwing it across the room. I snatch it back and we have a laugh, but I try to avoid using it for the rest of our time together.
Such is the scene in bedrooms across the world. It hasn't been two years since an absurd study polling blackberry users revealed that more than half of the country was texting on dates, emailing in bed, and a shocking 20% were answering business calls during sex.
The fact is, with cellphones becoming more and more sophisticated, you can now text, email, tweet, tumble, facebook, and a whole nother score of things that aren't quite verbs, any time, any where.
This means at dinner, the movies, in bed, and during what should be our most romantic moments. A scary thought when you stop and think about it.
Have you ever been on your cellphone during while spending time with your partner? Do you try to limit that time?
Recommend
Comments (57)
Well my fiance and I don't live together but we're together on weekends and once during the week. When he's here on weekends he checks it every now and then but that's it. Same with me. If I get a text, I'll respond (and he doesn't mind) but I'm not carrying my phone all around the house with me at all times just waiting for someone to call or text. So it doesn't really effect our relationship at all.
this website is very good, you can go and see it
http://www.shoes4world.com/
it doesn't normally bother me... but if we're doing stuff together and something happens, it's like, uh, really? you'd rather text than have me? ouch.
I remember once my boyfriend and I were sitting on the love seat and both of us were on our iPod Touches. I can't remember what we were doing, but my dad said, "What the hell? You young people are weird. Two people right next to each other and yet on opposite sides of the world." Ever since then, we have made a point to try and limit our technology time when we are spending time together like on dates or even watching a movie in his living room. It's sad that technology, in our effort to keep people connected, has actually DISconnected us from true relationships. I must say, I used to have my phone attached to my hand, but now I don't even care if the battery dies. It's quite nice to have that peace and quiet sometimes.
I see as a rude invasion of our time together. Like the situation written about in the article, if we're in bed doin' our thing and the phone beeps, and you're head over heels to respond to it, it shows me that you're not that into me. It shows that you're not that into what we're doing, and that whoever is on the other end of preferred electronic device is more important than what's going on right in front of you.
We're doing our thing, lady, and your friend Becky is not a part of it.
@ApplebottomsGrl18@xanga - I've always felt the same way, and I've said many times myself that that's a sad part of our generation. We know people on the other side of the world, but we don't even know our own neighbors. I now go out of my way to connect with the people who are around me, than people who are not. My phone got shut off recently, actually, and I've never felt so free.
it is what it is bitches hahaha
I just let it ring. I can always respond later.
My boyfriend is normally the one I'm texting through out the entire day, so when we're together, I don't have a need to look at my phone at all. I glance at it for the time and maybe to see if someone tweeted, but that's it. If we're making out or cuddling, I let it be. He hardly ever looks at his phone when he's around me.
I've only answered my phone during sex once, but that's because it scared the shit outta both of us and ruined the mood. Haha.
Ugh, my guy has his phone with him at all times and is always getting an alert of some kind, either text or e-mail. I know it's not work-related, so it does bother me sometimes. He will usually respond and put the phone away, but if he picks it up and starts texting a lot when we're together, I usually walk off to the kitchen or sit further away from him and stop talking so he can concentrate on what's more important (sarcasm). He usually gets the hint then.
I hardly get phone calls so I am guilty of texting when we are together. My boyfriend calls my phone 'The Other Man' since it always used to go off and distract me for a while. I only use it to text and last month I deleted all networking abilities except twitter. He likes this change but still complains I tweet to much.
I can't wait to cancel my phone, I dislike how anybody can contact me at any time during the day.
doesn't really bother me :)
My bf is a bit of a nerd and a tech so he kind of gets obsessed with his cellphone or computer and at times, he does neglect me but not on purpose. Whenever I do tell him to stop, he does it. He's rather social inept and doesn't like staying still though he has gotten better.
No fighting anymore over it =D
If we are doing something I tend to respond afterwards.
Lol, the person I'm seeing and I had a discussion about this one time. When my phone rang he told me not to answer it. It will be better when I get my own place because since I'm still living at home, my parents still check up on me even at this day and age it's so annoying. I wish I could go a whole night without leaving my phone out while I'm with him.
Unless he was having an affair, I don't see how a cell phone could ruin a relationship.
at least you guys were just in mid kiss..... my bf and i were in mid "happy play time" when I got a phone CALL (Ciara's One, Two Step sang out loud) as we giggled and attempted to ignore the continuously noisy phone.
But I don't think it's "ruining" our relationship. We try not to answer our phones when we're together, esp. since we don't live together, but his work has him on-call pretty much all the time, and need to stay connected on weekends, evenings and wherever. I try not to text (receive or send) when we're DOING things together, unless he's on the phone for bus. purposes and I'm bored.
lol
depends, my boyfriend and I have been going out for so long and we spend a lot of time together so its not always a good time to shut off the phones completely...
we do have our time though where we will ignore it, but I don't usually get mad about it unless we're out to dinner or something, then its just rude :\
I don't really use my phone much (and don't use it for anything other than phone calls and texting), so typically once I'm with someone, I'm not using my phone as much as they were probably the person I was talking to in the first place. About the only person I contact while I'm with my boyfriend is either one my best friends and that communication usually ceases after dinner unless the two of us are still out and about. Once we're in the house for the night, the cell phones go away [or on vibrate/alarm for the morning mode].
The about only time I've ever answered my phone during intimate moments is under one (or some combination) of the following circumstances: the phone wasn't on vibrate/silent and scared the shit out of me, I was expecting an important or unavoidable phone call that had to be taken care of at that point in time, or I just wasn't into whoever I was with.
My bf used to check his phone absolutely constantly and it drove me crazy. I hated it. He'd check it all the time, put it in between us at restaurants, and actually look at it while talking to me and then stating later that the reason he doesn't know what I said was because of bad memory. v_v
I addressed the issue with him and it's stopped. I like that :)
i have a problem with that like i do look at my phone just because i want to see if its my mother or someone else that is of extreme importance so that i am there if they call. but if its just a text from a friends or a call from not someone important then i generally dont answer...my boyfriend on the other hand always makes me look at it but when his phone goes off he refuses to answer im like ummm alright?
I usually only look at my phone while we're out and not doing anything particular. I always look to make sure it isn't my parents even if we're in the middle of something in bed, but I won't answer it unless it's my parents. My parents are a bit of freaks and if I don't text them back or answer the call, they'll keep calling until I answer. He doesn't check his phone while we're in bed, but he always checks it even if we're like at a restaurant or having a conversation. I always just say to him, 'Oh, that's funny. I thought we were having a conversation. Let me know when you're ready to talk' and that usually causes him to get flustered and put his phone down. I really don't mind unless we're having an important conversation. He's checked his phone in the middle of an argument before which pissed me off even more haha.
My boyfriend will only answer his phone if it's his sergeant when we're together. He gives me a hard time when I'm on my phone texting.
It was a small issue for me when I started dating my bf. If it wasn't texting then he would search random things or look at work emails and things like that when we had our time together. I especially disliked it when people would be texting him at like 11 at night. He would also have this random urge to make phone calls to his family or best friend, and it felt like he couldn't wait until I left to make those calls. I don't mind if he wants to talk to his family to check up on things. I do mind if it's an hour conversation. He has gotten much better with that, so I am happy.
As for me, the only time I will answer my phone is if it's family calling. If it's a text message, I eventually get to it.
when i was with my ex, we had a rule, no cell phones at the table if we're out to eat or having lunch or dinner. he'd get so annoyed at me because i'm always on the phone, either talking or checking my emails.
haha yeah, this has been a problem for me a few times- most of the time it's on vibrate in my purse and i'm pretty bad about answering, but there have been a few "intimate moments" where my phone has gone off, and he carries on but it ruins the mood for me :-/ them i'm all distracted, wondering who it was, and why they called. once, my roommate called me from upstairs, TWICE!, and the second time i answered- good thing, cuz my bf was parked behind her and had to move his car so she could leave! she would have been forced to just come and knock on the door otherwise...so, yeah. good thing i answered.
but anyway, i feel like it's unavoidable, but can be dealt with by only answering/responding is the mood permits.