As the New Year has begun and people have gone in full-force to change their lives and become better, I realize that I have very few things that I would like to improve upon.
One thing that I do feel needs to change, however, is learning to be in love with myself. Since my teens, I have always been able to identify myself as someone's girlfriend. Which, don't get me wrong, I have loved.
Relationships, for better or for worse, give me something to look forward to, and give an extra meaning to my life. However,
constantly being in a relationship has left very little time for me to know who I really am. In nearly all of my relationships, even the ones that have gone especially sour, I definitely felt as though I was really loved, I just have never known what exactly it is about myself that makes other people love me.
Now broken up with my last serious boyfriend, and with nothing particularly serious on the horizon, I have the opportunity to truly get to know myself, know what it is about me that is lovable, and understand it enough to make my next relationship better than any before.
Have you ever taken the time to fall in love with yourself? Were you glad you did?
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Comments (56)
that time for me is now. this sounds just like me. yay for us
Lovely post! Hey if you can't love yourself whoelse can love you. Always good to define who you r before anythingelse.. :) Kudos
I did. I took a year off "dating" after two fairly long term relationships. One was eighteen months, the second (which occurred after a four month gap), was six months. After that, I stayed single for a year. I was studying abroad at the time, which the main reason for swearing off dating, but it really helped me figure out who I am and what I wanted. I'm so much happier and secure now than I ever was before, and I don't need the "confirmation" of being in a relationship, y'know? I'm happy single, and I'm happy taken, and when I am taken, I'm much happier than I ever was before.
Good luck - it's really worth it, and it'll give you a massive eye-opener with regards to what YOU want :)
My girlfriend and I actually broke up this past week and she said something similar to this being why it needed to happen. Shame though, she was a great girl, but I guess you can't truly be happy with anyone else if you don't love yourself. So I'm doing the same thing with my newly acquired free time.
thats exactly what im doing right now. id definately recommend checking out www.mebeforewe.com
just put in your name and email in the box on the right and you'll get this amazing starter kit emailed to you. its absolutely amazing, im on day two and its seriously, so great- very out of my comfort zone and i cant recommend it enough. its only day two but im already seeing massive, major changes and shifts and its incredible. it lasts 40 days and i cant wait to see how i am by valentines day-- i printed out all the materials and feb 13th is even madly in love with me day! (not sure if thats official or not but who cares i like it!)
im so excited. i hope a lot of people try this and do many other things to improve their bond with themselves, thus the world, to make it a much better place. it really is important. your relationship with yourself is truly the most important relationship you'll ever have
mhmm! i think the scariest part is figuring out how to eat by yourself. at least it is for me. =]
Lately I've been straying, but I always somehow revert back to the process of learning to love myself more. I've noticed I've been comfortable gaining a bit a weight because my boyfriend enjoys my meat and encourages it (he thinks I fill out nicely), but then when I'm home alone looking in the mirror I'm very disappointed and I think of dieting again. But then I try my loving myself approach and rationalize that hey its winter, I usually gain a good 5/10 lbs, and it will be gone by spring.
Other things, such as school (how I'm not as on track as I would like to be) is starting to get to me though.
I'm going through this stage right now. Love this post :)
Yeah, I had this for a brief period of time my first year in college. I hadn't really shaken the guy I had previously been dating because he was a dick and I was an idiot for being his FB (don't judge, we were dating for two years), and I had reconnected with a guy I was friends with in high school. I had like, this vague month of me not dating anyone, but trying to emerge as my own person. I was doing very well in my studies and though my self-esteem was a little broken from the relationship coming to pass, I didn't let it get in my way and I made some real self-discoveries.
I'm kind of on my way through that again, I think. Last night, I bought some clothes on sale-clearance that I really feel reflect who I am. I cut my hair ultra short a few weeks ago, and when I looked in the mirror afterward, I kind of felt a lot of sadness and self-image problems float away because I suddenly felt I was starting to look on the outside the way I feel on the inside.
I've been listening to old music I had in happier times. It kind of transports me into a different way of thinking. I've been reading old favorite books because I'm trying to rediscover what inspired me. I'm not trying to relive the past, but backtrack to the point where I started taking the wrong road with myself and then go forward from there.
I have been in a relationship for the past 7 year, so..no. Now that I'm not, I think it's time to do so. :)
Well, it's the same as "You have to learn to love yourself before you love someone else."
And, it's true. Because if you never learn to love yourself, it can be a real drag on the relationship you have. No one wants to be with someone who has no self confidence and is always bringing the mood down.
I'm taking that time now, since I've been single for about 7 months now. Before that I was in constant relationships for about 4 years.
Hmm really I don't think you need to fall in love with yourself, for me it has always been knowing myself more, I can look in a mirror and honestly tell myself I am great (self-conceited? maybe) but I think in part as "laytexduckie" says "You have to learn to love yourself before you love someone else", it's very true! But people being how they are, and some people being born to different environments, it is not always learning that mantra, it is already there.
Call me self-conceited but I know myself too well to not say I love me for who I am;] And I guess so should... [you], hey it's not for everyone, there is line between loving oneself and understanding to being in love with yourself. It is a double edged sword that can cut both ways, so do you love yourself or are you in love with yourself too much (vanity)? Hmm
I'm in an on again off again relationship with myself. Meh heh.
With a title like this, I'm surprised a picture of Sue Silvester wasn't used. :P
nice post
Great post! It's hard to love yourself, especially if you're an un-selfish person, but sometimes you just have to. I need to do more of this myself, learn to love myself. It'll be hard...
I have fallen in love with myself, and with all humans. Letting go of labels and the things that make us individuals, you can see the beauty in not just yourself, but in everyone! And yes, it will change your life and give you great happiness! :)
it felt as if I was released from an emotional prison when my last relationship ended. vacation time to self indulge again
My teacher said that you don't get to really know yourself until your thirty. I'm gonna try to accomplish to know more than a 40-year old know about his/herself this year
YES! You cannot love others until you truly know who you are and love yourself for it. Everyone should take the time to truly learn about themselves. I think you recognizing that you've got a slight love addiction (hopping from relationship to relationship) is healthy and I hope you can break that habit. A great book for you to read is "Better Single Than Sorry, A No Regrets Guide to Loving Yourself & Never Settling." Wish you luck!
There are things about myself that I hate, and this is normal. But I do my best to change what's bad about me. I still love myself despite my bad side :)
I did, but it wasn't easy. In high school, I went through the pains of my first love. When our 3-year romance ended, I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. Going through my senior year single and taking time with friends instead of a lover, I learned a lot about myself and took a lot of growing time. Now, I'm dating again, and I'm still learning to love myself, but I have someone helping me. You can learn to love yourself beside someone else, but growing up is something you may need to do on your own time.
Go you! (sorry for lack of a better title) I am very much so undergoing this same journey in the midst of overcoming another confusing breakup. I have changed dramatically both spiritually and physically (got my butt in the gym everyday, that is). I am in love with exploring my own pursuits and developing close friendships right now versus being in a relationship.
All this combined, I can honestly say I am learning to fall in love with the world again AND myself. What could be better?
This is EXACTLY what I went through this year. I was continuously in relationships for four years until finally one guy who I loved completely utterly trashed my heart. I spent almost seven months single and I am SO grateful for that time. Trust me sweetie you're gonna feel the growing pains and even though they HURT, you have to let yourself suffer through them because I know for me, I was avoiding the pain of self discovery and taking responsibility for myself by staying in relationships constantly. And I can not even tell you how DIFFERENT of a person I am. I actually LIKE myself for the first time in my life! and what's more, I feel like even if I became single again it wouldn't change my self esteem at all. And that's HEALTHY. Give yourself a chance -- you will stumble a lot and make tons of mistakes but you will make amazing memories from all the crazy stuff you try!!! GOOD LUCK!