Sunday, 26 December 2010
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Ladies, RELAX About Your Boyfriends
It's horrendous, right? The way she comments him on Facebook. How she will text him all the time! And what about her slutty pictures? Oh and the one time she tagged him in a picture at a party! And the other time that she told you to back off, because he is "her's."
Obviously, all these actions must mean he really likes this other girl. Even though he calls you and spends times with YOU and not her, he is sooo into her....right? Wrong!Many girls seem to be more interested in the other girls who like their interest, rather than the actual guy they like.
Why, ladies!? I don't get it! You are only causing pain for yourself! I am just going to lay this flat out! You are not trying to date these others girls! You want the guy!
This means, unless he shows interest in the other girls and is using both of you, RELAX. Don't ask him about why she left him that comment on Facebook. If they happen to hangout at a party, so what? Lots of people go to parties. He might not have been aware she would be at the same party. Maybe he was aware, but honestly doesn't care enough to think twice about her being in the same place as him. Enjoy spending time with the guy you like.
Even if he likes another girl, like I said before....RELAX. Chances are, she is freaking out over you and this will show him how insecure, and dramatic she can be. If he is trying to feel both of you out to see who would be a better fit for him, the first one of you to prove you're insecure will be out the window.Be confident, keep your cool, and don't bring up other girls. You may think I am delusional, but I know what I am talking about. If you can't handle not bringing up the word vomit, you are not ready for a relationship with anyone!
P.S.- It's okay to hate those girls in secret and to vent about them with your close friends. I mean friends you can trust with anything...NOT friends who will blab to others every last dripping slimy detail of every last word you said. Lastly, keep your eyes open and your mouth shut.
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- From: roxybabe1623@xanga
- Name: roxybabe1623
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Comments (55)
This post confuses me in general because I have yet to encounter a person like this.
Oh yeah, completely agree. If girls get too upset they only feed the fire and the girl who is trying to get at your man will keep on doing it because she sees it is upsetting you. This happens all the time.
Another way to solve the problem is to get off of facebook for a while. It's not real life. You physically and emotionally have the man... the other chick doesn't ;) She only has texting and hanging out at the occasional party!
@Murphy_Rants@xanga - Lucky you. =P
Honestly, I've had problems like this before. I'm in a relationship with the first guy who didn't walk all over me, and in the beginning, it made me insecure. But if I had a problem, I always talked to my boyfriend about it in a calm, rational way. I was always upset with the girl, anyway, not him. I trust him one hundred percent. I get pissed at girls who don't know their boundaries.
It's okay to be upset about the other girl who is just being flat-out disrespectful. And it's okay to vent a bit to your boyfriend. So in a way, I disagree about keeping mum. But I agree with the overall theme of the post, which is not to jump all over your boyfriend over something like this.
Hahaha, love this! Girls are wayyy too possessive and obsessive these days. Sometimes it's hard to believe how they can't seem to see that it is a damn good path to pushing their SO away. Jesus.
I actually had a moment of pride and clarity today when I decided to look at the guy I'm currently diggings facebook (we haven't known each other long at all and it's in a totally casual, let's see what happens phase), and there happened to be a few comments from a girl I've noticed comment him before, saying "I miss you again let's hang outtt after work one day" and things of that nature.
I thought about it for a minute, and guess who's not the girl trying too hard? I never even text him first. I let him reach out to me, which he always does on most days. No need to even let a slight worry cross my mind, when if anything even IS potentionally there between him and this girl, she is the one that's showing she cares too much, while I sit back and go with the flow.
Moral: Staying chill and not showing any feelings of jealousy > Trying too hard and showing insecurity
But, this is sad.
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@Murphy_Rants@xanga - same here.
Dude, seriously. I'm never sure why I'm the butt of these things (being the girl that the other girl is obsessively complaining about) but I am. I'd never take a girl's boyfriend for myself if my life depended on it because I have more respect for other people than that. However, I was talking to one of my guy friends (we're not super close but we're definitely past the acquaintance stage) and he was saying how his girlfriend was jealous of me because I talked to him at 11 PM or something. Me, out of all of the people he knows. And honestly, my talking to him at "late" hours in the night is purely coincidental. *shakes head* I don't know.
i have every right to enforce (and to reinforce) the idea that my territory is still mine and belongs to me. =p back off, whores.
after i finished reading this post, i thought that this post may not be about the women in relationships. you are talking about women that are single who are trying to claim a partner? so they tell the competition to fuck off? o_o
if you are talking about women in relationships. then i disagree. >:( he's mine until i say he's no longer valuable. if he wants an open relationship i dont mind. but we if agreed to be in a monogamous relationship, telling another chick that he misses her in a sexual way (just to feel her up and compare her to me) is just telling me that our relationship is not exactly what i agreed on, and that i am also capable of telling other men that i miss them and want to hang out with them. So i can, y'know, feel em up to compare them to the guy im apparently with.
seriously, people who have agreed on a monogamous relationship should already be serious about making it work. and most of the time, in a monogamous relationship when your so "in love" with the one your with, you wont be interested in trying out other people. if that (the want to "feel out" more than one person) is the case, the relationship should be open. Not bound.
Great advice and good post. A lot of women need to hear this.
@Murphy_Rants@xanga - A person as in a girl who chases after a guy like that?
@mademoiselle_rachelxx@xanga - Sometimes if a girl is too puhsy or being strait out disrespectful I believe it to be normal and something your boyfriend and you should talk about. I mean if a girl is being disrespectful he should tell her to knock it off or they can't be friends. My point of this is most girls are insecure and jump to conclusion and make a big deal about tiny things that really mean nothing. Like a comment or facebook or a tagged picture or a text. That's good that you can openly talk to your boyfriend without freaking out. Good luck with your relationship.
@sssecret_x@xanga - Glad you liked my post. Thanks for commenting. :)
@LillimNo9@xanga - I am just saying pick you battles. If you have a boyfriend, he can have chick friends...and if they leave him a comment on facebook and never do anything else, ignore it. If they are strait out being disrespectful and trying to snag him....then say something.
@actuallyfeel_alive@xanga - Thank you.
good thing I don't participate in facebook drama. however, I don't blame them for being insecure and suspicious because sometimes these older guys flirt with me and claim to be single or temporarily separated from their gf, then they want to hookup
I don't hookup with them because they be nasty lol social network sites seem to make it easier to cheat.
lol if i felt like there was a chance he was interested in another chick i'd let her have him.
i'd want a man who there was no question who he liked.
but then, i've never in my life had this happen to me.. i have good taste, i would never even give a dude a chance who need to "feel" me and some other chick out.
me > every other girl in the world to my mannn!
sorry ladies!
The difference between a girl and a woman.
@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL@xanga - So you don't think casually dating is acceptable, I am guessing?
Totally agree with this great post!
I've been in the middle of a guy who liked two girls and I like the other girl have that sweetheart. I'm sorry, but if a guy is going to like me he better put the effort into liking me and not trying to choose between me and someone else. On another note, my boyfriend likes when I get a little possessive. He's told me before that it makes him feel wanted or something. The only thing I really do is look at the girls staring at my boyfriend while we're together and I raise my eyebrows a little and I smile because I know I have someone they don't have. I have a jealous streak though and it doesn't seem to scare my boyfriend away.
@PseudoEuphoric@xanga - Wow, do we have the same ex? Haha...men, really.
The majority of my exes actually interacted with these stalker-girls, more than likely slept around with them, and would constantly flirt with them via Facebook or even over the phone in front of me, so obviously, when girls try to inappropriately touch my current boyfriend, flirt, or he suddenly starts paying a lot of attention to a girl, I am a bit unsure about the situation, but I am up front and honest about it when I ask him. I'm not crazy, I don't tell the girl to stay away from my man, I just tell him that I am uncomfortable and why it makes me uncomfortable. He is understanding and will explain the situation. I didn't have this voice before, and this is the voice that ALL girls need when addressing a situation like this. Be mature about it and grow some, ask him, and get over it.
@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL@xanga - That's a bold and quick statement.
Let's be honest: Let's say you heavily invested a lot of time, emotion and effort for a relationship with a guy. You're NOT just going to "let her have him" at that point.
@LillimNo9@xanga - Your comment sums up my feelings exactly.
If you can't stick to what you agreed, especially when it comes to a relationship, then you are disrespecting it, no questions asked.
It is in no way "crazy" for a girl to back this point up, HOWEVER, she must do it maturely and keep it between her boyfriend and herself. If either parties cannot handle the situation, they shouldn't be in that relationship.
yeah, know what you mean, have felt the same way. but at the same time, a girl just can't help sometimes.
@xXDC_luyouXx - dude. if i had invested a lot of time and he liked another chick? yeah effff that! she could have him. yeah i would have wasted time, but by furthering a relationship with him it would only mean i was wasting more time.
@roxybabe1623@xanga - its not casual if you're trying to make it something more serious. casual to me is dating for fun, and if thats the case there wouldn't be any drama over another chick.