So, you've got a great boyfriend. Incredibly cute, sweet, and your parents love him.
But there's just one catch: his computer is stock-full of porn sites. It happens. I was never particularly bothered by this, but it might have been the fact that I grew up with a brother whose massive DVD collection was equal parts action, comedy, and porn flicks.
However, I know of girls who are genuinely bothered by this. To them I say:
unless he's preferring staying at home, watching porn, and beating his meat to being with you, there's really no need to worry. Frankly, I think porn is one of the greatest inventions of all time for women. It allows men (and even us girls) the opportunity to satisfy their sexual desires and curiosities on demand. This means that if for whatever reason you aren't around, aren't into having sex, or aren't exactly willing to offer up a threesome, he can at least have the illusion that all of those urges are being satisfied.
Masturbation and pornography are completely natural, and will always exist. This is a battle women should just give up on, there's no genuine harm in it, unless, like I said, it's overshadowing your time together.
How comfortable are you with your partner watching porn?
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Comments (129)
One of my best friends doesn't like her boyfriend looking at porn. So, she takes naught pictures of herself and gives it to him. So, ladies, if you don't like your guy looking at stock porn, provide your own with your own personal touch.
My boyfriend doesn't anymore. I think it's a really sweet gesture.
I really don't care.
having been together so long, and only seeing each other about once a week now due to work etc, I could care less. This dialogue actually occurred: "It's been a long time since I've seen boob" "Even online?" "Well, your boobs."
I went on my boyfriends computer the other day, and a porn pop up came up. I showed it to him and tried joking with him about it, but he said something like "I really don't watch porn anymore, not since we got together." and I say "really its okay babe, I'd rather you tell me the truth than lie to me, its okay to watch porn." and he kept defending it, insisting that it just came up from times before. Which is nice, but I kinda wanted to try watching porn with him. Guess thats out the window. oh well.
I send him naughties anyway.
@laytexduckie@xanga - and what happens when you break up, and he decides to get revenge by putting them on the internet or by sending them to everyone in his phonebook? Sending naughty pictures of yourself is so, so, so stupid.
@individually_surveys@xanga - yeah i totally agree. you have no idea where those pictures can end up. the power of the internet is a scary thing
@individually_surveys@xanga - If she's unwilling to please him in a relationship where he can't watch porn then he's going to break up with her anyways. Sending naughty pictures of yourself isn't bad. He can easily delete them, and it's not like he hasn't seen you naked before anyways. So what's the big deal? If he breaks up with you he's not the one who's gonna want revenge. He'll just go out and find someone who feels a stronger need to satisfy him.
I'm telling you this straight from my mind. That's what I'd do in this situation, and that's what most guys would do too.
As for porn, I don't watch it. I'm single but I have no need for porn and don't masturbate that often either because there are more important things in life than physical pleasure. Although if I happen to need it I will of course satisfy it in whatever way I want.
Porn doesn't bother me unless it's an addiction and/or he's choosing it over me. Otherwise, I don't see why people get so bent out of shape over it.
And also, sending naughty pictures of yourself is just asking for trouble. I've seen a couple people commenting about it. The thing is, those are the types of things that get seen by people you never wanted to see them, either by accident, or on purpose. It's just not a good idea.
-Katie
Ladies,
Your guy is going to watch porn. If he says he isn't, or he hasn't, or he won't, or any other variation of that, he is lying. And if you believe him, then I have a bridge I'd like to sell you.
If he has at least one working eye, has a pulse, and has not assumed room temperature, he will look at porn. It is not a commentary on you or how attractive you are. In the grand scheme of things, there are far worse things he could do.
If he's looking at porn, you should be thanking the heavens he's not dead yet. Hell, if he's looking at porn, I am almost 100% certain he won't go out an cheat on you anytime soon.
If it's such a big deal to you, then there's something wrong with you.
@Dustin_wind@xanga - "Sending naughty pictures of yourself isn't bad. He can easily delete them, and it's not like he hasn't seen you naked before anyways. So what's the big deal? If he breaks up with you he's not the one who's gonna want revenge. "
It's not inherently bad, but it is stupid. What happens when you break up? There's no way you'll know what he does with those photos. In my opinion, sending someone naughty photos is just asking for trouble - all you're doing is putting them into someone elses hands. There's no telling that he breaks up with her - what if she breaks up with him and they end up all over the internet, on porn sites, or on a mailing list around to everyone she knows? It's just an inherently stupid idea, because you never, ever know where those photos will end up and what impact they might have on future relationships.
I remember reading an article where they tried to do a study on the effects of pornography and men. They couldn't complete the study though because they couldn't find a man who hadn't watched porn.
Me and my boyfriend watch porn together every now and then. Neither of us get off on it or anything... we just think it's funny as hell. The faked orgasms, the over exaggerated screaming, the shouts of, "Take it bitch!" and any other variations. It provides good amusement. And after a good laugh or two, we cuddle on the futon and watch LotR while he calls me his Precious in Golumn's voice.
I'm fine with it...it beats him begging me for sex whenever I'm not in the mood.
I don't think anyone has a right to tell women what they should and shouldn't put up with. I have no problem with my boyfriend looking at porn, but if another woman does have a problem with it, I won't criticize her. Everyone is entitled to their own values and comfort levels, and women who are not comfortable with porn should not be looked down upon or labeled controlling or prudish.
Also, I think the idea that men have constant insatiable sexual desires is bullshit. You're basically saying, if you don't let your man beat off to porn when you're not there sexually servicing him, his desires will be out of control and he will stray. That's some view of men you've got. Men have just as much control over their sex drives as women--their sex drives are not higher than women's and they are not out of control. Porn is not necessary to keep men in line. It is simply something that is out there that both men and women can enjoy if they want to.
Frankly, I don't care as long as he doesn't prefer watching porn over being with me. I used to date guys who either a) would get rid of porn as if it will please me one way or another and/or b) try to pick fights with me because I don't care that he watches it or that I do care that he watches it. Either way, I don't really give a damn unless it wasn't visually offensive to women in porn and its context. But I also don't think that porn is The greatest invention to give women options NOT to be enslaved by the act of servicing their bfs/spouses whatever... It doesn't give a girlfriend or a wife a "get out of jail" card so he can beat his meat to his porn, it doesn't mean he's going to cheat on you because you made him rid of his porn stash either. If anything, internet having the availability to watch porn online made it too accessible for men to feel the "thrill" of what it used to represent...which inadvertedly had a hand in making it seem so "sexy" as well I think... (don't watch porn, it's bad, don't do it... What else will you do unless watching it?) Overall... don't let your fantasies get better of the relationship and we're all good, eh?
I'm very comfortable with my man watching porn. Sometimes we watch it together before we go to sleep too. It's completely natural and healthy for our relationship.
@warbler02@xanga - GOOD point. Awesome point, actually.
I just hope his porn consumption goes down when I'm around.
I have no issue with it as long as it doesnt take away from the actual relationship. Watching it for fun is one thing but obsession is a completely different story. I'm not naive to think my boyfriend or husband will ever stop watching it because I see it too on ocassion but I dont expect my guy to do what they do in those overdone movies & I dont expect to do that either.
It is sad though when men base sex on what they see in film & try to get girls that look or act like a pornstar. They dont make for good long term relationships.
Personally, I don't like it. I don't care about how it's "not real" or the benefits. For me, I really can't stand that and some guys really are obsessed with it and watch it way more than they want to admit. My SO knows how I feel about it and he hasn't been messing with it.
it is nothing wrong doing, mind always curious but if your partner does not like it then should respect partner
My boyfriend watches it. So do I. And we also have amazing sex and love each other. Big fucking deal.
I don't know about porn, but it doesn't seem as bad now that I read this. I'd really like to know peoples opinions on strip clubs though, like for a bachelor party for a friend or for themselves. That, I am definitely unsure about.