Wednesday, 22 December 2010

  • Don't Waste Yourself, Avoid Hook Ups!


    In this day and age people seem to be becoming more comfortable with showing their bodies in various ways, be it in a form of professional artwork or through the media. We can't turn on our TVs or turn a street corner without seeing an add that has been amped up with an underlying sexual message to catch your eye. 

    Don't get me wrong the human body is a beautiful thing, but I think it should be shared in proper ways, not in some issue of Playboy. 

    The human body has become a form of perverted sexual content rather than a way to express art. Have we gone too far?

    "Hooking up" has been a glorified action through every part of the media and through our peers, which does influence us even though we might deny it.

    Music videos have gotten overly sexual through the years, portraying women (and men) as nothing more than sex objects. These points make me wonder if this is one of the reasons why there is a lack of chivalry in today's society. 

     

    The love and affection that comes from making love with your partner has been watered down to practically nothing. Having sex with  somebody who does not care for you is fake affection, it's fake love. It leaves an empty place in your heart when they leave and at the end of the day you are still alone. People may not think of it as using the other person because even through you both are well aware that it will not get any farther.

    Let's face the facts here: you are still using each other to get what you want. That random hookup does not care about you in the least. Granted, you might not care for them either, but what I won't ever understand is how people can do that. 

    I don't understand how people can let strangers do something that personal to them. Now, don't bite my head off for saying this (because I know some of you will want to) but I think by doing those things you're degrading how beautiful you are. 

    You don't need to take your clothes off for people to notice or like you. Making love is beautiful thing but it should be shared with somebody that you care for, somebody that you care a deep connection with. 

    Agree? Disagree?

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Comments (138)

  • andillnevergiveup@xanga

    i agree that sex is best when shared between two people who care about each other.


    but there's a lot to be said for casual sex. i can't just NOT have sex. i love it too much.  but when i'm single i have ONE person that i sleep with who i'm also friends with and hang out with all the time.


    good post, darling.
  • LupusInvictus@xanga

    I think it is funny when 20 somethings say "in this day and age" or "in the past." Clearly, we were around/conscious decades ago to take note of sexuality and promiscuity.I say it all the time, but I do recognize that I am usually talking out of my ass when I say it.

    Anyway, things change. Culture changes. I can't say whether it is good or bad, but it is certainly always changing. It is up to each individual to decide what is "proper" for themselves in these cases. 
  • laytexduckie@xanga

    While I do agree that it becomes much more special when shared between two people who care and love each other, I wouldn't really care if someone just wants to have fun. I don't become intimate with someone unless I'm in a relationship with them. 
  • tales_of_skinny@xanga

    I've always seen hookups as the best way to get to know a person! I mean, it would suck waiting 6 months to find out that you and your partner have zero sexual chemistry ;)
  • SuperEvilPopTart64@xanga

    Seriously?! I'm going to have sex with whomever I damn well please--consensually, of course--and it won't be for people to like me, to accept me, or to love me, or whatever the hell reasons you ASSUME people hook up for. I'll do it to satisfy a natural biological desire. Mkay? Get your judgement statements out of my vagina and off of my ovaries, mkay? Glad we're on the same page.
  • astudyinemerald@xanga

    While I agree that the objectification of women is bad, I disagree that hookups promote this culture. It is entirely possible to have casual sex with someone and still respect them.

    It's about sharing an experience - it doesn't need to be love.

    "the love and affection that comes from making love with your partner has been watered down to practically nothing. Having sex with  somebody who does not care for you is fake affection, it's fake love.
    It leaves an empty place in your heart when they leave and at the end
    of the day you are still alone. People may not think of it as using the
    other person because even through you both are well aware that it will
    not get any farther.    "

    Disagree. It's only fake affection if you are, um, pretending its affection. You can have casual sex with someone and not pretend it's love.

    Sex has no inherent meaning or value, it is entirely what you make of it. Just because you have casual sex with someone doesn't detract from meaningful sex with a partner you love. Taking a walk through the park with am acquaintance can be a pleasurable way to pass the time; taking a walk through the park with someone you are in love with can be very profound. Sex is no different.

    If you don't want to have casual sex then don't. But don't assume everyone attaches the same meaning and qualitative experiences to sex that you do, either.
  • LongLoveLost@xanga

    I completely agree with you. I'm almost 19 and it's sad to hear that I'm one of the only people I personally know that can count how many people they've slept with on one hand.

    I've been turned down for dates and boyfriends many times because I clearly state I won't have sex with you unless Ilove you. All that aside, this makes complete sense. Where has class and self-respect gone?

    Out the window.
  • mademoiselle_rachelxx@xanga

    @laytexduckie@xanga - Agreed.
  • mashroob@xanga

    Hookups are way easier to come by than an actual serious relationship. I've never had a guy show any interest in my personality and completely meant it. I've never even been on a date. I've been incel for almost 2yrs and the only reason i've held out this long is because STDs and pregnancy are in the water. I think thats the only good thing about relationships. When the person's clean. Other than that i dont have much insight into being connected with someone of the opposite sex on a deeper level than sex. My brain doesnt process love. Only fucking. When i'm 27 i'm sure i'll get an eHarmony or Match.com profile. No worries.
  • saia1@xanga
    When he sleeps around, hes a stud. When she does it shes a skank. Hes looking for a good time (and lets face it, theres plenty to be had right) she wants a relationship he says "this was just fun right?" and he tells his buddies. Next week, next month, next year, same thing. He settles untill something hotter walks by or maybe does he grow up. Whats SHE supposes to do when she gets horny? Wait for him to commit ? Or add one more notch on the ole bed post? We gotta say when sometime.
  • shinoseishi@xanga

    I disagree.  I'm the type of person who can have sex without being emotionally attached to the guy.  It's fun and satisfying.  Neither of us pretend it's anything more then just sex.  I don't believe I'm degrading myself or lowering my self worth by doing something I enjoy.  I was in a relationship for 6 years, having sex with a guy I thought cared for me only to find out he was sleeping with other women.  That made me question my value.  That felt degrading.  I know what it is I want right now, and that's just casual sex.  Knowing what I want and going after it is fulfilling in its own way.
  • oMeGaXmK2@xanga

    This is the extremely conservative view that keeps this society from progressing. Pretty much everywhere else in the world, sexuality is much more open, alcohol is more accessible, etc.

    Casual sex fixes a chemical imbalance, it releases sexual tension. Think of it like eating. When you're hungry, you're out of nutrients and calories, a chemical imbalance, so you eat. When you're horny, you have sex. Does it matter what you eat? No. So it shouldn't matter who you have sex with.

    And why must we put sex on a pedestal? It's there for a reason, it's pleasurable not only because it motivates us to procreate, but it makes us happier and has health benefits.
  • prettynpink628@xanga

    I think that a person's body is their business, and they should do with it what they want. 
  • nikkijayxoxo@xanga

    Having sex with somebody who does not care for you is fake affection, it's fake love.

    Um, not, it's not. Nobody expects to have love when they're literally, just hooking up. They don't want a relationship... sometimes, they just want to do something that feels good. Why does it have to be more than that?
  • Fluxuater@xanga

    As long as both parties involved know what they're getting into I think it's alright. I wouldn't hook up with a total stranger though. 
  • WhenHateIsTheOnlyOption@xanga

    Sometimes people just need to be satisfied and  that's it.

  • P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga

    agreed. personally I think hooking up is metaphorically like a rental car that pretty much anybody with a credit card can rent. I'm like a classic limited edition car that only a select few elites can ride to each their own.
  • too_pretty_to_die@xanga

    i think that hooking up hasn't been glorified... it's just stopped being demonized.  
  • GreekPhysique@xanga

    Good points. I don't think it's necessarily wasting yourself, but I believe hook-ups have a lot of hidden costs. Often the strong partner may suffer no damage, but the weaker of the two tends to get attached, or hurt, or feel like his/her wishes were not acknowledged and followed. 
  • sarahzthoughts@xanga

    I don't understand why people immediately jump all over someone for having a more conservative viewpoint about sex by insisting she's judgmental. This girl is saying that having sex with "just anybody" is degrading how beautiful you are. She's not calling out the women who do this by calling them skanks and whores. Where is the judgment here?


    The bottom line isn't to live with repressed desires or to rewind society back to the 50s. It's about respecting yourself enough to not give yourself away simply to satisfy someone else's desire. Face it, a casual hookup isn't about valuing someone as a person. It's mutual masturbation, using someone else to get off. It's not hard to understand why people think that's selfish, even if you disagree.
  • saia1@xanga
    STDs and pregnancy ARE NOT obsolete. Just sex can literaly be a life or death situation. If youre willing to trust that hottie across the bar, fine, "Just sex" isnt always bad. But the number of kids bouncing from Baby Mommas house to Baby Daddys house may see it differently. In my opinon, the more poeple choose "just sex" the more society looks like .... Well, have you taken a look around lately? Or are you still thinking about that hottie across the bar?
  • thearyanprincess@xanga

    While the media does encourage promiscuous behavior, most people want a meaningful relationship over a hook up. Chances are the relationship is going to include sex, but most people are picky when choosing their partner.

    In my experience, while having a hook up is great for sex, it's a hassle because usually you're not that into the guy, all you want is sex.
  • MaxiMoron@xanga

    I have a hard time getting hookups. I don't want to be in a committedrelationship but it always ends up that way. I start off with a girl just for fun, then next thing you know she's telling me she loves me, then she wants to spend every weekend together. With all these sexy adds on TV, etc, you would think it would be easier for me to just have random flings with chicks I don't care about, but no. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't want commitment with the people I have sex with. I just want sex, then I want you to go away, or just be my friend and have more sex.

  • MeStripped3@xanga

    "Having sex with  somebody who does not care for you is fake affection, it's fake love."

    It's not fake love, it's just lust. It's just hooking up. There's nothing wrong with getting what you want, and giving the other person what they want at the same time. Different story if one person leads the other on to believing that he loves her/she loves him. That's not cool.. But as long as both parties involved are aware it's JUST SEX, let it be!
  • MeStripped3@xanga

    @MaxiMoron@xanga - All I can think of...you must be a really nice guy. Be more of a dick, and girls will want to DO you, not DATE you. It's terrible, but I think that's how it works. Now, I could be wrong, I'm no expert, but that's what I've gathered from experience. I'm not saying treat girls like shit, but maybe if you always open the door for your girl, don't. That makes her want to date you.

    I've always been the opposite of you, guys want to do me, not date me. I've been with my boyfriend now for about a year and 3 months, and I'm scared if we break up again, no other man will want to date me :(
    Good luck.

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