Tuesday, 21 December 2010
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10 Reasons You Don't Have a Ring
Editor's note: While we disagree these gender specific arguments, these reasons make sense-- and should be applied to men, too.
So you’ve been dating him for a while, maybe for even a bit longer then a while. You really do love him. He’s a good guy and treats you good, for the most part.
However, you have only one small, tiny, little compliant, and it's not between his legs. You want to know where the hell the ring is.Every girl wants to know that she’s pretty enough, skinny enough, and hasn’t been completely wasting her time with the boy that she's chosen. So how long is too long to wait for a real commitment?
I mean if he loves you, like really truly loves you, then what’s the big deal, right?
Well have no fear pretty girl, because WJNTY is about to tell you the top ten reasons straight from guy-land, why you don’t have a ring on your tiny little finger yet.
1. You‘re a nag
When a guy is thinking about forever with his girl, trust me he’s thinking about the bad stuff, not the good. Nagging is the biggest mistake girls can make with their man. He’s heard it before from almost every married man he knows, from Grandpa, to Dad, to his boss and so on. They give him the opposite advice of Nike, “Don’t do it.”
You may think that because you’re having hot sex with him and being cool half of the time that he should want to marry you. What is he left with though, if you were to erase all the physical stuff (the pretty hair, sexy body, chicken pot pie)? Guys know that women age like milk and men age like wine. So he’s well aware that putting those qualities to the side is a must when choosing a wife.
2. Your friends all pretty much suck
Guys have friends that will help them move, loan them money, take a punch to the face and buy them a beer. Girls have friends that will lie to them, talk shit about them behind their back, date their crushes and sex their exes. He knows that you will ditch most of your friends the day after you get married to him.
Listen, it's just life don’t get mad. Tell you what, go and ask ten married women (make sure they’ve been married longer then a year) just how many of the girls who stood up in their own weddings they still talk to, daily, weekly, monthly or yearly? BFF is cute when you’re in your twenties, but do you really think that your mother still has a BFF? Your man realizes that he will be one of your only friends once you marry and that’s a scary thought. In pre-marriage life girls will have fifty best friends, and guys will have five. Once we get married, guys will have five, and girls will have one.
3. You don’t have any hobbies
Nobody wants to be your hobby. If the only thing you enjoy besides your man, is TV he will never marry you. Life is hard enough without having to be your sole source of entertainment. Find a hobby.
4. He doesn’t really trust you
If you’ve ever lost his trust before, and have been trying hard to get it back, IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. He will never let it go, or get over whatever happened. He may want to, but he won’t. Start over with a guy who looks just like him.
5. You’re as deep as a sidewalk puddle
A young man wants a hot girl when he’s a young man, but a mature man wants a woman with some depth. Shallow is fun for about a minute in your twenties, but for the long haul a man needs a girl who can intelligently talk about something beside the Jersey Shore.
6. You don’t make him feel like a man
Men NEED to feel like men. Take that away from him, and you’d might as well get ready to move back into your parents house, because you WILL be getting divorced.
7. You make him feel like a failure
What man wouldn’t want to be a success? Like Noah said in The Notebook, "Sometimes it's just not in the cards." Nothing is worse for a hard working, good, honest man, then to feel like he’s never going to be able to buy you enough shit to impress you.
Would you really want to spend the rest of your life being judged by your own bank account? I tell guys all the time, “Find a girl who would be proud of you for working hard everyday at Wal-Mart, then spoil her and love her madly till the day she dies." Let the other poor bastards deal with the women who would rather have things, over having love.
A boat, car, purse and house will not take care of you when you get cancer. A loving man, however, will, no matter how much money he makes in a year.8. You hold sex for ransom
What if he only hugged you, when HE felt like it? He only called you back, when HE wanted to talk. He only held you, when HE was in the mood to. He only paid the bills, when HE wanted to. He only went to your mother's house, when HE decided to.
Think of one thing that you really enjoy him doing for you. Now, what if he only did it for you on your birthday? Or when you were being a “good girl”? Girls who use sex as a reward make horrible wives.
9. You told him he has to
Telling a guy he has to get you a ring is like him telling you that you have to be friends with his ex-girlfriend.
What? Fuck that? Exactly.
10. He doesn’t want to marry you
When a guy wants to get married, guess what he does? Anyone? Anyone?
He marries her.
What say you? Agree or disagree?
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- From: werejustnotthereyet
- Name: We're Just Not There Yet
- Location: Charlotte, North Carolina, United States
- About Me: We, Seth and D, are writers... The book, We're Just Not There Yet will be out in 2011. http://www.werejustnotthereyet.com
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Comments (148)
10. Definitely.
This is a good list. I feel like everyone should think about these things... I mean seriously.
Well I dont want to marry him...so there!
I think there could be many reasons. I think you forgot to mention that some men can afraid to completely commit (aka get married).
11. Your boyfriend is just a dick.
Hmm ... I don't know if I completely agree with every thing you said, but it's an interesting read. :)
Or...
The Number One Answer
::drumroll::
You haven't met the right person yet!!!
::applause::
10 probable reasons why he's not buying you a ring after years of dating:
1. He's a dick.
2. He's ass broke.
3. He's cheating on you with other people.
4. He's doing your mom.
5. He's not satisfied with this relationship but is too much of a pussy to move on.
6. No one will ever have sex with him again regarding his penis' size (and shape) besides you.
7. He's severely allergic to any kind of jewelry. Can't touch, can't look, can't smell (and can't afford).
8. He's scared that thief will try to kill you to steal the ring.
9. He doesn't want Joe The Plumber to come to fix your ''water system" everyday if the ring happens to be stuck down the sink.
10. He's waiting for your eggs to meet his sperms. Now, that's enough pressure.
And I would like to add a stipulation to #10, "Yet".
He doesn't want to marry you yet.
If at all.
@aCe_KeiAnar@xanga - Definitely the number one go-to answer for this.
o no wonder...
These are pretty shallow reasons. In my opinion this just doesn't seem all that intelligent. I agree with some but others seem childish.
The people I see disagreeing for the most part, are women.
I am a guy. And I happen to agree. Most men realize that people change over time, and want to plan for that over the course of a marriage.
Or...maybe we should begin to ask why every "good" relationship HAS to end in marriage anyway. Just because it's the social norm, does that means it's right? Does a ring make a relationship better than one without a ring? Does a ring actually guarantee any sort of commitment anymore?
I don't mean to come off as all negative. I just think this is one area that we as a society are blindly following what has been done before rather than actually thinking about and questionsing processes to see if they are right for us.
Did I mention I'm a huge introspector?
@lauralen@xanga - yeah i agree, but i DO want to be married before i have children, is all. idk, have a "real family." and i'd not be in a rush for that either, except for biology and stuff. meh. but that's just me. and i wouldnt marry just anyone just for those reasons. i really don't care what anyone else does.
10 FTW
"When a guy is thinking about forever with his girl, trust me he’s thinking about the bad stuff, not the good."<--this marriage thing ain't no joke
@lauralen@xanga - I agree, every good relationship doesn't have to end in marriage. But both people have to agree on that for there to be no problem. That's where the problem comes in, one person is usually expecting marriage and the other is not. They haven't communicated on that fact, so when the conversation actually does come up there's problems. Or some women (and maybe men as well) ignore the signs when they are in a relationship where their partner doesn't want to be married and they do. I feel it works both ways. No one should have to sacrifice their beliefs if they do not believe in marriage. But no one should have to sacrifice their beliefs if they do. It's one of the oldest institutions, and even though we have screwed to all hell as a modern society it does still have value and merit and people need to be upfront with one another and more importantly, willing to realize, if you're not willing to compromise in your beliefs, whatever they may be, then that may no longer be the relationship for you.
Because everyone peddling a book about how to find a man or keep a man is going to attempt to throw women's self esteem in the toilet in order to increase sales. One thing that people often forget ... and I don't care how hard it may seem to find someone in this small small world, because you have to remember there are 6 billion people in this small small world ... if he won't give you what you want, move the fuck on and find someone who will! Do not accept mediocrity from a man who doesn't want to show you that he loves you. That's what men do. And that's what he's probably doing with you, lady who relates to this post. He probably feels he can find something better, so he hesitates to marry you. I know I would prefer to be single for a little longer than to marry a man who doesn't truly want to marry me, or who would bring up the any question that would prompt someone to write a post like this. You may find yourself in a relationship where the man has made it clear that he's not interested in marriage. Why the hell are you still holding on when he's made it clear? Because I can almost guarantee that the woman he does marry will have the exact same attributes that he's complaining about above. She'll just have whatever je ne se qoui he needs for them to not matter. And there is some man out there who is willing to accept whatever neurosis or hermitage you possess. So instead of settling and selling yourself short how about letting him know where he can put his ring and finding something better.
Ahah most of these make sense. I think you have to nag men sometimes because they can be idiots and not do things when you ask once.
Very good list. All of these are totally true!
This has the potential to get all the teenagers and young lovers all up in arms because their Mr. Right hasn't popped the question at 22 years of age, after eighteen months of I Love You's.
That being said, number ten pretty much hits the nail, smack on.
just because he thinks I'm marriage material doesn't mean that I think he meets my standards. I'm a perfectionist, so good luck meeting my high pedestal. I only settle for the best.
the failure part.
DEFINILTY